Padawan Five and Darth Fozzy
by lady-warrioress
Summary: A crazy fic created by an overactive imagination..Anakin starts a band, ObiWan is flirting with Padme, Dooku,Asajj,and Grievous buy lobster in Boston? Things get even weirder when Palpatine hires Fozzy Bear to spy on the Jedi! discontinued
1. Padawan Five

CHAPTER 1: The Padawan Five

It all started with a small flyer on the Jedi Temple Bullatine broad.

**Come one Come all! See the greatest Rappers of all!**

**THE PADAWAN FIVE!**

Of course Master Windu ordered the sign taken down but by then it was too late. _Everyone _had seen it even Master Yoda. The weirdest thing was Yoda wanted to see it as well as almost everyone in the Temple.

"Fun, it might be," Yoda said to Mace.

"Rap is not fun," Mace insisted. "Rap is just a bunch of people talking in rhymn with music in the background."

"How would you know?" the old Master asked, looking up at his friend.

The dark skinned Jedi's face turned red. "I...well...uh..."

"I see," Yoda said grinning. "Want to be a rap star did you?"

"In the old days..." Mace said, looking dreamily into space. "I would have been good at it too."

"Why did you not?"

"I wanted to become a Jedi even more."

"Show me."

Mace looked at the little Master in horror. "W-WHAT!"

"Show me rap," Yoda said leaning on his walking stick. "Want to see it I do."

Mace's face turned beat red. "Nah... I'm no good anymore."

"**_SHOW ME!" _**Yoda yelled, jumping on Mace and grabbing him by the collar. "Want to hear you rap I do!"

"**_NO!" _**Mace wailed like a child. "**_I won't do it! You can't make me!"_**

Mace fell over. "RAP FOR ME!" Yoda said again.

"Umm... is this a bad time?" a voice asked.

The two looked up. They saw Aayla Secura and Shaak Ti staring down at them.

"Uh...," Aayla said. "If you two wanted to be alone you should get a room."

That sank in. "**_EW!" _**the two men exclaimed, getting back up.

"Where are you going?" Mace asked Aayla.

"We are heading to the auditorium to hear the Padawan Five," the blue skinned woman replied. "We heard the lead rapper is Anakin."

"Figures," Mace said rolling his eyes. "Leave it to Anaklin. I bet he started the group too."

"Want to come?" Shaak asked.

"Sure," Yoda said nodding vigorously. "Going there we were."

"We were...Ow!" Mace began but was interrupted when Yoda kicked his ankle. "We were just going there," the dark skinned Jedi said glaring at Yoda who glared back.

So that's where they went.

* * *

"I don't see why we had to come to this," Mace whined as he found a seat in the auditorium.

"Interesting it might be," Yoda said, raising a hand.

"About as interesting as cutting off my own arm," the dark skinned Jedi grumbled.

"Sick mind you have, Master Windu," Yoda said. "How can that be interesting? Hurt that would."

"I was being sarcastic," Mace said.

"SHHH!" a Padawan in front of them hissed, looking back at the two Masters. 'They're starting."

Mace rolled his eyes and tried to get comfortable.

"HEY EVERYONE!" a voice from the stage yelled out. "ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?"

"YEAH!" everyone yelled back.

The rest of the group came out on stage. They were Anakin Shywalker and a three other teens. As the Chosen One came to the front of the stage all the girl Padawans went nuts. "YEAH ANAKIN!" they all shouted. "WE LOVE YOU!"

From where Yoda and Mace sat they saw almost all the women in the auditorium faint.

"Anakin isn't that good looking," Mace grumbled.

"You say that why?" Yoda asked. "Jealous are you?"

"No," Mace said. "I'm saying there is more than just Anakin for the girls to swoon over."

"Huh?" Yoda asked cocking his head.

"Just look at me," Master Windu went on, pounding his chest with his fist. "I'm a fine speciman of a man! I bet I could make any girl fall over-"

"YEAH ANAKIN! YOU'RE SO SEXY!" a voice yelled to their left interrupting Mace's self flattery.

Yoda and Mace turned their heads. They gaped at Aayla Secura who had passed out and landed on Shaak who had her hands clasped over her heart and her eyes closed. "Anakin, my love..." she began then noticed she was being stared at and quickly sobered up.

Mace and Yoda looked at each other.

"Saying you were?" Yoda asked.

"Hey! Hey!" Anakin shouted, sounding like Fat Albert. "Let's rock!"

Now they looked back at the stage.

The four teens behind Anakin began making weird noises in their mikes as the Chosen one began. "BOOMBA CHICK! BOOMBA CHICK! Let's all rap!

_Far off in distant space, _

_There is a crazy place, _

_Where the droids don't leave you alone!_

_And you can make your very own clone!"_

_YEAH!"_

The crowd went wild as Anakin made up lyrics as he went.

"_Where the Sith want death for all_

_And want the Republic to fall!"_

The other four teens began making weirder noises.

Almost evreyone in the auditorium went even wilder.

'PADAWAN FIVE WE LOVE YOU!"

* * *

"That was the stupidest concert I have ever gone too," Mace complained to Yoda an hour later. "And those lyrics made no sencse at all!"

"Funny it was," Yoda chuckled. "Red your face has become."

Mce put his hands to his face and looked in a mirror. "ARGH! MY ROSESHIA IS SHOWING!" he ran off screaming.

Yoda watched him go then shook his head. "Sorry state he's in," the old Master said yawning. "Tired I am. Take a nap I will."

Yoda saw a doorway that looked like his. Without a second thought he headed right to it totally unaware of what or who was behind it.

_A/N_

_Sorry if this is kinda dumb and makes no sense. Thsi is my first try on making a funny fan fic. I ahve never made one before. If I'm trying too hard i am sorry. Maybe as I go on I'll loosen up and this will make more sense. _


	2. ObiWan I Love You

CHAPTER 2: Obi-Wan I Love You

It took Anakin almost an hour just to get out of the auditorium. That was because he was being mobbed by all the female Padawans in the Temple. They all wanted his autograph. He finally he'd resorted pulling out his lightsaber and chasing them all away with it.

That didn't do too well. All his fan girls just pulled out _their _lightsabers and chased him everywhere he went.

Finally Kit Fisto offered a hand and Anakin was so desperate he agreed.

"Okay, Anakin," the green, black eyed Jedi said blocking the fan girls with his arms. "I'll take care you this you..._run!"_

Which was exactly what Anakin did. _Oh Kit thank you so much! You aren't such a bad person after all! _Anakin thought as he ran into the hall his eyes watery with tears of gratitude. He heard the girls screaming behind him but he didn't look back. All he wanted to do was get to his room and crash on the sofa.

When he finally arrived at the apartment he shared with Obi-Wan his Master he quickly went inside and slammed and locked the door behind himself. "_PFew_," he said rubbing sweat off his head. "That was close. I hope I ..._AH!"_

Anakin saw his Master in the living room with someone. A _female _someone. A _familer female _someone.

Padme Amidala.

The Senator was leaning close to Obi-wan and had her hand on his cheek. She was grinning like a maniac. Obi-Wan didn't seem to mind what she was doing.

_What is this? When the cat's away his _Master _will play?_

Anakin walked closer. Now he could hear what was being said.

"Uhhh... Padme you are a very lovely woman but..."

"Oh, don't be so hesitant Obi-Woby," Padme giggled.

_Obi-Woby!_

"You are just scared to try something new."

"Well..."

"Admit it Obi."

"Yes, Padme I do like you too."

_**WHAT?**_

Padme's smiled turned foxy. "See that wasn't so hard was it?"

"No," Obi-Wan admitted. "It was actually very easy."

Padme leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Obi-Wan, I love you!"

_Okay now that's gone too far!_

Anakin stormed into the living room. "You trying to steal my woman, Master!"

Obi-wan and Padme looked at him. "Hello Anakin," Obi-wan said. "Look who came to see you..."

"Oh no, you don't, Master!" Anakin said. "You can't play innocent with me! I saw what you were doing!"

Obi-Wan's face turned beat red. "Anakin..."

"You leave her alone!" the Padawan said grabbing Padme's arm. "You can take away anything of mine even my underwear but you can't take away my lovely Padme Adande!"

"Padme Adande?" the Senator said looking at Anakin with a look of discust. "I am not your _Padme Adande!" _

"You brainwashed her too!" Anakin screamed. "She doesn't even know her nickname anymore!"

Obi-wan looked at him with a raised eyebrow. His eyes danced with held in laughter and confusion. "Dude, you're warped." the Jedi Master stated simply.

Anakin pulled out his lightsaber and turned it on. He went into a battle stance. "I challenge you Obi-wan Kenobi!" he shouted lifting one leg in the air and wobbling on the other one totally off balance. "Winner gets Padme! The loser has to clean the others underwear for a year!"

The older Jedi blinked then grinned putting up his hands. "Now, Anakin, let's not start something _you _will regret later..."

The door leading to the hall opened but nobody was paying any attention.

Anakin got ready. He didn't even notice Obi-wan has still unarmed. "DIE!" he yelled, running forward.

The next instant he found himself on the floor, his lightsaber flew across the room and out the window. "OW!" he exclaimed. "What happened? Who did that?"

"Me," an voice said under him.

Anakin looked down. He saw a pair of disapproving hazel eyes glaring up at him. That's when he realized what he'd done. He tripped over Master Yoda then somehow landed on top of him. "Kindly get off of me," Yoda said.

"Oh, I'm sorry Master," Anakin said getting up.

Yoda stood up. He cracked his back then picked up his walking stick. He regarded Anakin with now controlled hazel eyes. "Anakin," he said shaking his head. "Use the Force with your feet you should not."

"I'm sorry," Anakin said again. "I didn't see you. Maybe you should wear stilts so you won't be so short and underfoot..."

"**_SHORT! UNDERFOOT!" _**Yoda screamed jumping up and grabbing Anakin by the collar. "Born short I was! Normal height for my species this is! Giant you are!" The little Jedi started to choke him. "Under foot _you _are! Big feet you have!"

Anakin leaned back against the wall so he wouldn't fall over. "Sorry!" he yelled, gasping at Yoda's choke hold. "I didn't mean it! Your height is fine! I am too big! Wayyyyyyy too big! Yes, even my feet are big!"

Yoda seemed satisfied and let Aankin go. The little Jedi Master jumped down and picked up his stick. "Fine it is," he said closing his eyes and turning away from the human yawning. "What is your problem anyway?"

Now Anakin was mad again. He pointed an accusing finger at Obi-Wan who was being flanked by Padme. "It's him," he accused. "He's trying to steal her from me!"

Yoda and Obi-Wan stared at him. "WHAT!" They both said.

Anakins face turned red. "Oops..."

Yoda shook his head. "Embarrest you are. Red as a tomato your face is."

Anakins hands went to his face. "Oh no!" he exclaimed. "What if someone else finds out? What if _Mace _finds out!" Anakin began to wail. "I don't want him to find out! He'll kick my butt! He'll punch me through the wall!"

"Jeolous of you Mace is," Yoda said grinning. "Fan girls he wants."

Padme, Obi-wan, and Abakin looked at the small Jedi Master. "_WHAT!" _they exclaimed.

"Oops," Yoda said. "Secret that was. Tell you I wasn't suppost to..."  
Anakin grinned. "So...," he began. "Mace wants fan girls does he?" he cracked his knuckles. "This could the perfect way to get back at him for making me clean those discusting bathrooms... MWAHAHAHA!"

_A/N_

_I hope that was funny. Well just to let you all know I got the idea for this story from an AOL conversation between me and a friend. We both thought it was very funny but I had to add stuff to it so it's not as great. I might need some help with this. Anyone got ideas? Anyway I'll try to get the next chapter done as soon as I can. Thanx again._


	3. Mace Fans

CHAPTER 3 MACE FANS

"I don't see why all the girls like him so much," Mace Windu complained to Council member Adi Gallia. "I mean, what does he have that I don't?"

Adi raised her hand and ticked off the things with her fingers. "Well for one thing he's hot, young, strong, a good fighter..."

"I'm a good fighter!" Mace bellowed in her face.

"But are you hot, young, strong..."

"I'm strong," Mace said. "I'm good looking. I'm not as young as I used to be..."

"Why are you even bothered by it?" she asked. "Anakin isn't even very smart. He started a rap band for goodness sakes! A _rap band! _There is no such thing as a _rap band!"_

"Yes there is," Mace cut in. "There's D12. Their leader is M&M and..."

"Who cares!" she interrupted. "That is an Earth band. People on Earth do weird things."

"Maybe if I grew some hair...," Mace said absently.

"Are you even listening to me?" Adi yelled.

The dark skinned male Jedi looked at her. "Huh?"

The female Jedi fell over. "Listen to me," she said, getting up and putting her hand on his face to keep him from looking away. "Growing hair wouldn't look good on you. It would probably poof and give you an afro."

"An afro," Mace said grinning. "Maybe that would look good."

"No, it wouldn't," she said. "You'd look like an idiot! Do you want to be _laughed _at!"

"Aww, lighten up Adi," he said grinning. "I was only kidding. I like being bald my head looks so shiny this way." he put his hand on his hairless head. "It keeps me cool."

Adi wasn't sure if he was telling the truth of being sarcastic. She put her hand on his shoulder. "Don't do anything stupid, Mace," she said. "Even if you don't have that many fan girls you'll always have me."

Then she walked away.

Mace watched her go. **She **_is my fan girl!_ He started blushing. "Aw that's so sweet," he said smiling happily.

And then, just then, one of the Padawans had to come by and say "Hey Master Mace, did you know you had toilet paper on your boot?"

Now Mace really did blush. A dark shade of red. He quickly ducked into his apartment before someone made him feel even more foolish.

* * *

Anakin wrote vigorously on a piece of paper. He wanted to get this document done as soon as possible. When he finished it he put a piece of double stick tape on the back and held it up for the others to see.

Obi-Wan and Padme stared at it a moment, Yoda didn't. He'd falled asleep on the couch and his head had fallen on Padme's lap. "Umm Anakin I think you spelled that one word wrong," the Senator said absently stroaking the fuzz on the little Master's head with her one hand and pointing with her other. "And I can barely read what it says."

"Really?" he asked looking at the paper again. "Argh! I shouldn't have taken a chance to work on my calligraphe."

"Use the Force, Anakin," Obi-Wan said. "It will help you."

_That's what you forgot to do you _dolt! "You're right, Master," Anakin said nodding. "I'm sorry, Master."

He went into his room to get another large piece of paper.

* * *

Mace waited until he was sure his face was no longer red before he came out of his appartment. This time he'd made sure his Roseshia (How do you spell it?) wasn't showing and he had nothing stuck to his boot or had a piece of his briefs sticking out of his pants. Now _that _would have been real embarressing!

_Now, _he thought, _I'd better get to the Council Room. I'm late for a meeting._

He started walking down the hall.

He hadn't gotten very far when Anakin ran up to him and said, hitting him on the back so hard he started coughing. "Hey Master Mace," the Padawan said grinning. "What did you think of my new band?"

The dark skinned Jedi got a hold of himself then glowed at the upstart. "It was..." he reigned himself. "very interesting."

Anakin's grin got bigger. "Thanks a lot Pops," he said, smacking the older Jedi on the back again. "Good to hear that from a fan!" Then he started to walk away. "Well gotta go me, Whie, and the others need to plan our next concert. Maybe good ol' Palply will let us entertain the Senate."

Before Mace could say anything to _that _Aankin rounded a corner and was gone.

"What's with him?" the dark skinned Jedi asked himself. "He's never that chummy with me. He must be up to something. But... what could it be?"

The Jedi shrugged it off and started walking again.

He hadn't gotten far when he felt someone run up to him and plant a big juicy wet one on his cheek. Mace put a hand on the spot where he'd gotten slobbered on and looked around to see who had done it. It was that girl Tallisibeth Enwandung-Esterhazy, also known as Scout. The girl was looking up at him grinning, "Hey, Sexy," she said then ran off giggling.

_What was that all about? _he thought watching her go.

Suddenly he was surounded by three other girls. Lena Missa, Hanna Ding, and Hera Tuix. The three girls all had weird fishy smooch faces.

"Umm..." he said. "May I help you girls?"

They all jumped up and kissed him. Then ran off giggling and yelling. "See you later Sexy!"

He watched them go as well. _What in the world? _

Then a thought came to him. _Hey, they must be doing that because they think I _am _sexy. _He grinned. _Maybe I do have a few fans after all._

He walked farther down the hall confidently. But that didn't last very long. Suddenly he was flanked by _women Jedi Masters_. Jang Li-Li, Shaak Ti, Aayla Secura, Ilena Xan, Maks Leem, and Stass Allie. All six of them were right in his face.

"Umm, hi," he said nervously. "Can I help you? Erm... is the Council still meeting today?"

"Yes," Shaak said grinning at the other women. "But before you go in we wanted to give you something."

Then before he could do anything the woman lunged at him all six of them _at the same time. _They knocked him over and all tried to kiss him.

"Ladies," he said his eyes wide in fear. "What is this!"

None of them answered. They just all tried to get at his face. _I gotta get away from them! They're crazy!_

Using the Force he knocked all six woman off of him then ran as fast as he could go. "Wait for us Sexy!" they called running after him. "We didn't get to give you a kiss."

"Leave me alone!" he yelled over his shoulder. "Go bother someone else. Bother _Anakin!"_

He saw the Council door ahead of him. With a sudden burst of speed he ran toward it. Using the Force he opened the door, clammered inside, and closed and locked the door behind him. Then he leaned against it panting.

"Mace?" a voice asked.

He looked up. He saw Plo Koon and Ki-Adi-Mundi looking at him in concern.

"Is there something wrong?" Plo Koon asked.

"Oh nothing," Mace Windu said laughing nervously. "Just some lady trouble."

"Lady trouble?" Ki-Adi asked cocking his big head. "What do you mean?"

"All the women keep kissing me and calling me sexy," he explained suddenly feeling stupid. "The Lady Jedi Masters chased me."

There was a pounding on the door. "Let us _in_!" He heard Ilena Xan shout.

He turned toward the door so his back faced the two men. "No way!" he shouted at them. "I'm not going to let you in so you can smother me!"

"Mace...," Plo Koon said.

The dark skinned Jedi looked over his shoulder at the bug faced alien. "What?"

"What's that on your back," the alien asked pointing. If Plo Koon had eyes that could be seen they would have been wide.

"What? What's on my back?" Mace asked trying to reach behind himself.

"Let me," Ki-Adi said, standing up and taking something off the Jedi's back. He looked at it a moment then said. "Well what do we have here?"

"What?" Mace asked.

The big headed Jedi handed him a piece of paper. 'This may be why you have become so popular."

Mace took the paper and read it. His eyes got as big a Star Destroyer.

Written on the paper were the words: **Kiss Me and Call Me Sexy.**

"Looks like you were a victom of a prank," chuckled Plo Koon.

Mace Windu's face turned red and his hands shook. He knew who was responcible.

"What's wrong?" Ki-Adi asked. "Do you know who did it?"

Mace looked at the alien. "Yes, I do," he said.

"Who?"

"Anakin Shywalker."

_A/N_

_Yes, I know. I am weird. Well I have to admit I am a fan of Mace Windu. I like him but I like Yoda and Obi-Wan better. They're all cool. I used to like Anakin a lot but not as much now that I saw Episode 3 and he killed those Younglings (I don't hate Anakin I just don't like him as much as I used to). Now I think he's a bit jerky. I am not a fan of the band D12 or whatever it's called I don't like rap either I just needed an example._

_Well all I have to say now is: I hope you liked it and I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I get an idea._


	4. It\'s A Sealy

CHAPTER 4 IT'S A SEALY

When Anakin reached his apartment he was laughing his head off. He'd seen what happened to Mace Windu and it had caused him to temporaily lose it.

"I see you were successful," Obi-Wan commented.

Anakin leaned against the door, using it to hold himself up. If he wasn't careful he would be rolling on the flour. "Yes," he chuckled. "I do believe I was."

"Well, I have to be going," Padme said, moving Yoda's head off her lap and standing up. "If I don't I'll be late for a meeting with Chancellor Palpatine."

"Going so soon?" Anakin asked disappointed. "I thought you came here to see me."

"I did," she replied. "But I got a little preoccupied"-here she glanced at Obi-Wan who blushed-"and you went off to get your revenge on Mace for making you clean smelly hoppers so...I'm out of time."

She pushed past him and opened the door. "Maybe I'll come by some other time," she said smiling at the two men. "Till then boys."

And she was gone.

* * *

That night Obi-Wan had just turned off the light on the nightstand by his bed and was getting comfortable when he felt something moving around near his feet. His body tensed as he tried to figure out what to do.

_There's only one thing _to _do. _he figured.

He reached onto his nightstand. The next instant his blue lightsaber came to life.

The Jedi Master sprung into a standing position on his bed and pulled away the covers his arm raised ready to cut, whoever or whatever was crawling around his feet, in half.

In the light of his sword he saw a pair of glowing green eyes.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" _he screamed along with the person behind the eyes.

Obi-Wan fell off the bed and his lightsaber got stuck in the wall. He pulled it out and sprang back to his feet. Whoever it was also had a lightsaber. A green one. In the light of the blade Obi-Wan stared at something that looked like a goblin.

"Who are you?" he asked, his body tense and ready to swing at the monster. "What do you want with me?"

The goblin laughed.

"What's so funny?"

The thing walked over to the nightstand and turned on the light. Obi-Wan now saw who it was. It was no goblin after all! It was Jedi Master Yoda.

"Master Yoda!" the human Jedi exclaimed, turning off his lightsaber. "What are you _doing_ in here?"

The little Jedi looked at him. "Going to bed I am," he said.

"_WHAT!" _Obi-wan exclaimed. "Why can't you sleep in your room?"

"Broken mattress," Yoda said. "Old springs. Ripped through the material it did. Hurts my back it does."

"Why _my _room?" Obi-Wan demanded. "Why not Mace's room?"

"Mace snores," Yoda replied. "Kept me up all night he has."

"Bu...but!"

Yoda lay down and pulled up the covers. "Sleep in here I will," he said.

"Hey!"

Yoda looked at him annoyed. "What?"

"Are you taking my bed?"

The older Jedi thought it over then said. "Yeah. I guess I am."

"Where will _I _sleep?"

"Comfortable the livingroom sofa is."

_Then why don't _you _sleep in there?_

Yoda turned off the light. "Good night Obi-Wan."

* * *

"Master?"  
Obi-Wan pulled his blanket closer to his face. "Hmmm...?"

"Master? What are you doing?"

Somebody poked him. "Go away!" he mumbled. "I don't want to go to practice today."

The poking continued. "Hey, are you awake?"

Obi-Wan opened his eyes. He saw a big face in his. "_AAIIEE!" _he shrieked. Then he fell on the floor. "Ow!" he groaned.

"Master, what are you doing sleeping on the couch?"

Obi-Wan opened his eyes. He saw Anakin Skywalker leaning over him. He quickly sat up. As he rubbed his face he remembered what had happened last night. "Master Yoda took over my bed," he explained.

"Oh," Anakin said, sitting on the couch. "So what are you going to do about it?"

"Well for one thing I'm not going to let him sleep there again," Obi-Wan replied.

"So...what are you going to do?"

"Master Yoda said his mattress is broken," the older Jedi replied getting off the floor. "I think we should take him to Sears and get him a new one."

Anankin blinked. "Both of us?" he asked.

"Yes both of us," Obi-Wan said grouchily. "I'm _not _going to let him sleep in there again."

Anakin looked unhappy with that idea but he nodded. "All right, Master." he agreed reluctantly.

* * *

"Hurry up," Yoda said looking back at the younger Jedi. "A new mattress for me we must find."

The little Jedi, Anakin, and Obi-Wan were in Sears. They were heading to the mattress section where they heard mattresses were on sale for 50 credits each. A real bargin.

"All right," Obi-Wan said. "But if we go any faster we'll be running and running isn't allowd in this store."

"Why not?" Yoda asked turning around.

"Because if we run we might crash into somebody holding something fragile and make them fall and break it."

Yoda's face cracked into a grin. "Fun that might be."

"It will _not _be fun!" the human Jedi said. "If you break something you have to buy it no matter how expensive or _ugly _it is."

Yida didn't have a reply to that.

"Anyway we're here," Anakin cut in pointing to a sign that said. "Mattresses"

Obi-Wan let out a sigh. "Finally...," he said under his breath.

They went into the room. What they saw when they got in there stopped them in their tracks. They saw huge white mattresses floating there like clouds. They also saw someone in blackish brown lying on one of the mattresses in the corner of the room.

"May I help you?" a voice asked behind them.

The three Jedi turned around. They saw a lady with green skin and two horny things (Same species as Aayla Secura) coming out of her head and resting on her shoulders, standing there. Her outfit told them she worked there. "Yes," Obi-Wan said. "We are looking for a mattress for Master Yoda here." Yoda nodded at the woman and she nodded back. "We want to find one that will last long and give a good nights sleep."

"Well," the woman said (her name tag read Britanny) "how about one of these?" she waved her hand over the mattresses. "They last long and as you can see from the guy over there they give you a very good night's sleep."

"Really?" Yoda said, trying to climb onto one. "Try this out I will."

"I'd advise you not to try it out till you get home," Britanny said.

"Why?" Anakin asked.

The girl saw Yoda get on the mattress and lie down. She leaned forward and whispered. "It's a Sealy."

Soft snoring filled the room. Obi-Wan looked at Yoda who had instantly fallen asleep on the mattress the instant he'd lain down. "I think your warning came too late," he said a huge sweat drop appearing on his forehead.

The woman grinned. "I would advice you to wait till your friend wakes up to buy one or you can join him," she waved her hand over the mattresses again. "I'm sure you'd enjoy them too."

"Really," Anakin asked eyeing the mattresses like they were a big juicy steak.

"Thanks but no thanks," Obi-Wan said giving Anakin a look. "We'll just browse."

"Okay," Britanny said shrugging. "Just let me know if you find anything."

She glanced at the sleeping Yoda, giggled, then left.

"What did you say that for?"Anakin asked. "Why can't _we _try them out too? They look so comfy."

"Because we didn't come here to sleep on mattresses," the Jedi reminded his Padawan. "We came here to find one for Master Yoda."

"But he found one," Anakin said, waving a hand at the old Master. "I need a new mattress."

"You do not," Obi-Wan said. "Your mattress is fine. You just want to get one of these so you can sleep later than you already do and have an excuse."

"Me?" Anakins eyes grew wide with innocence. "I would _never_ do a thing like that."

"Yes, you would."

"_HEY, KEEP IT DOWN OVER THERE!" _a voice yelled.

The two Jedi looked in the direction the voice had come from. They saw the man who had been sleeping when they'd come in had lifted his head and was glaring at them. They instantly knew who it was. "COUNT DOOKU!" they yelled at once.

Lightsabers came to life.

Dooku yawned. "Really, what kind of person wants to fight someone who is trying to take a nap," he looked away from them. "Such bad manners,"

"What are _you _doing here?" Anakin asked.

Dooku yawned again and slid off the mattress. "If you must know, I came here to buy a new mattress for my Master," he replied stretching his arms lazily. "But when I tried it out well you know the rest."

"Well you won't be buying anything when I'm done with you!" Anakin said, raising his lightsaber. "Charge!"

He jumped on one of the mattresses.

"How rude," Dooku said. "But if you wish," his lightsaber came to life. "I'll fight you."

He too jumped on a mattress.

The fight began.

Obi-Wan watched the whole thing and couldn't help but shake his head. "This is a stupid place to start a fight," he said, smacking that palm of his hand against his forehead.

He saw Dooku try to push Anakin over he also saw a mattress behind the Padawan. He knew what the Count was trying to do. "Anakin," Obi-Wan shouted. "Don't let him push you onto one of those mattresses!"

Anakin looked at him. "Why not?"

"If you fall on one they are so comfortable you'll fall right to sleep."

Anakin stared at his Master like he'd gone nuts then remembered what had happened to Yoda. "Okay," he said.

Then he swung his lightsaber. _And cut three mattresses in halves!_

"Anakin, don't do _that!" _Obi-Wan yelled.

But Annie didn't hear him. The Padawan was hacking up the soft white mattresses and laughing as he was doing it. "You won't use bedding against me Dooku!" he yelled sliceng another one in half.

Now he and Dooku were jumping from bed to bed. Anakin scored a hit and kicked the Count back. The ex-Jedi landed on Yoda's mattress and bounced the small Jedi so high that when he landed he missed the mattress and fell onto the floor.

"OW!" the green alien yelled, getting up. "Who did that!"

He saw Anakin and Dooku fighting and jumping on the mattresses. "Jumping on the bed?" he yelled. "Allowd it is not!" His lightsaber came to life. "Teach you all a lesson I will."

Now three were jumping around. Obi-Wan could only watch and shake his head.

Just then Britanny came back into the room. "Did you-AH!" she jumped out of the way just in time to avoid a flying spring. She looked at the mattresses. She saw Yoda, Count Dooku, and Anakin jumping on the mattresses and tearing them apart.

"_STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!" _she screamed.

The fighters all looked at her. "What do you think you're doing!" she demanded.

"Umm fighting," Anakin said.

Britanny glared at him. "Not in here!" she yelled. "Look what you did to our Sealys!"

All three looked around. Every mattress except the one Yoda had been napping on was destroyed. "Oops," Dooku said his face turning bright red.

Britanny put her hands on her hips and glared at them. "I don't know why you three were fighting and I don't care," she said sounding like a preschool teacher. "All I care about is this: If you three don't clean up these ruined mattresses I will be forced to call the Jedi Council and have you all expelled."

"I'm not a Jedi," Count Dooku said the same time Yoda said. "Boss of the Jedi Council I am."

Britanny glared at them harder. "Then you two should be acting better then this especially you Master Yoda."

Yodas face turned even redder.

"Now," she went on. "I am going to leave and by the time I get back this mess had better be cleaned up."

Then she turned around and stomped away. They all heard the door lock behind her.

"Thanks a lot, Anakin," Count Dooku said glaring at the kid.

"What did I do?" the Padawan asked.

"If it weren't for you in trouble we would not be!" Yoda yelled.

Anakin's face turned as red at Maces had been the other day. "Oh," was all he said.

* * *

"Now do you see why the Jedi Council won't make you a Master yet?" Obi-Wan asked a few hours later after the Jedi had cleaned up what was left from the Sealy mattress sale. "You just can't keep yourself out of trouble!"

"I'm sorry, Master," Anakin said. "I will try not to, my Master, now please lift your end higher."

"I am," the older Jedi said trying to get a better grip on the mattress. "But Yoda is lying on it and his added weight is getting to be too much."

"Fat I am not," Yoda said raising his hand sleepily. "Tired I am." Then he started snoring again.

"I never said you were fat!" Obi-Wan shouted but since Yoda was asleep he didn't hear him.

"Well at least one good thing came out of this, Master," Anakin said.

Obi-Wan looked over his shoulder at his Padawan. "What?"

Anakin grinned. "We didn't have to worry about him trying them _all_ out!"

_A/N_

_Well what can I say? I got this idea while I was in church. (Bad place to get ideas I know) that and the fact that I am practically obsessed with those Sealy mattress comercials. I think they are very funny. I don't have anything else to say except that I thought adding Dooku and the fight would be funny. I don't even know if I was right. shrug All well. I'll get the next chapter done as soon as I can._

_P.S. I will try to get Darth Fozzy in here soon._


	5. Sidious New Apprentice

CHAPTER 5 SIDIOUS' NEW APPRENTICE

"What were you _thinking?" _Dooku's Master Darth Sidious roared.

"It wasn't my fault!" Dooku defended himself trying to get comfortable on a black satin covered couch. He was in the living room of his Master's evil lair. "Those mattresses were the cause of it!"

Darth Sidious got up from his evil blue silk covered throne and started pacing. "I find that hard to believe. Stop blaming other things for your mistakes. And who asked you to take a nap on one in the first place!"

"Well if you hadn't of-!"

"SILENCE!" the evil Lord yelled upturning the coffee table.

Dooku shut his mouth.

Darth Sidious kept on pacing a few moments longer. "Now I won't be able to sleep," he grumbled. He shot a dark look at the tembling Count. "By the way when I told you to get me a new mattress I didn't mean trying them out!"

"But if I don't try them out how would I have known which one was the most comfortable?" Dooku said. "What if I had acciently gotten you a rock hard ten year old mattress?"

The dark Lord wanted to say something to that but was unable to.

"Just to let you know those Sealys would have been the perfect cure for your insomnia," Dooku went on raising a finger. "And it would have gotten rid of those big ugly bags under your eyes..."

The Count had to jump out of his chair to avoid a thrown pillow.

"I have bags because I keep thinking about all the times those rotten Jedi have embarrest me in public!" Sidious roared getting in Dookus face. "Do you know how it feels to sit down at your desk and let out a loud fart that everyone can hear then later finding out it was a woopee cushin with a mike next to it!"

Count Dooku sputtered in held in laugher. "No, I-"

"You see," Sidious said, his eyes growing into huge watery balls. "You don't know how it feels!"

"Um..."

The Sith Lord got ahold of himself. "Well they won't get away with that," he said turning away from poor Dooku. "I have a plan."

"You're going to get Anakin to join us now?"

"NO!" Sidious yelled. "That will come later! General Grivious doesn't feel up to it right now! He says his doctor said he's got to get surgery for his asthma."

"Then what are you going to do?"  
"I will hire a spy! MWAHAAAHHA!" he said. "I bet you want to ask me who it is and why don't you? Huh? Go ahead ask me."  
"Um why and who?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Darth Sidious snapped his finger. "I want to spy on them because I have no other way of seeing what they are doing."

"Why don't you just make a a law that says you have power over them?"

"I...," Sidious thought that over. "Not a bad idea. Why didn't I think of that?"

_Because you're too busy thinking of sneaky ways to do it. _Dooku thought.

"Now's not the time for that, though," the Sith Lord said. "That would take too much time. I'll plan it later. Right now I have to worry about other things like: Where should I take my Mom for Mother's Day?"

"How about Perkins?" Dooku suggested. "Or Friendlies? You know their slogen "You and me and Friendlies"."

"Hmm naw I'll just go to Bonanza it's not as expensive and their steak is like mmmmmmmmmmmmm..." the evil Sith began drooling. "Mmmmmmm steak."

"Uhh..."

Darth Sidious shook his head. "Wait what am I thinking? I don't have time for that now!" he looked at Dooku. "What was I saying before."

"You wanted to show me who and why you wanted to spy on the Jedi."

"Oh oh yeah," Sidious said nodding. "Very good."

He snapped his fingers again. "All right then," he said. He called at a wall. "Okay boys you can raise it now and don't forget the dry ice!"

"All right your Majesty!" a workman called from behind the wall.

"Cue evil theme!"

Lame music filled the air. DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DAAAAAAAA! DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DAAAAAAAA ( ----- music they play whenever they show Darth Vader)

"Okay raise the wall!"

The wall started to lift into the air. It got about halfway up when it suddenly fell back down again.

"Hey!" Sidiuos yelled.

"Sorry boss," one of the workmen called. "The cable broke."

"Grr! Let me up there!" the Sith Lord yelled running out of the room. "I'll show you how it's done!"

A few seconds later Dooku heard what sounded like yelling and a scuffle. "Turn a gun on me will you!" he heard his Master yell. "Well let me show you a thing or two!" A lightsaber came to life.

"Mercy!" the workmen yelled.

"Fix this door then!"

"Y-yes your Evilness!"

Then Sidious was back. "Now," he said. "Let's do this for real!"

The wall started to come up again. "Behold!" Sdious said, raising his hands up so he looked like a choir director. "My new apprentice! MWAHAHAHAAHAAA!"

A shadowy figure appreared in front of a spotlight. As clouds of the choking dry ice filled the room the thing started to walk into the room.

"Darth Tyranous meet my new apprentice," Sidious said as the figure stepped into the light revealing a brown bear wearing a cloak but also a hat and tie. "Darth Fozzy! BWAHAHAHA!"

_A/N _

_I hope that was funny. Next chapter will have Fozzy talking and telling those lame jokes of his. I might need some help with that though. I'm running out of ideas. If any of you guys got some please let me know okay?_


	6. Waka Waka Waka

CHAPTER 6 WAKA WAKA WAKA

"A _bear!" _Dooku exclaimed, staring at the small brown puppet in disbelieve. "You have been training a _bear_!"

"And what's wrong with a bear?" Sidious demanded. "I can train whoever and _whatever _I want! Just look at you! You're a rich, spoiled, cross-eyed, dork."

"I am _not!"_

You are _too."_

"Am _not!'_

"Are _too!"_

"Um, excuse me," said a voice that sounded strangley similar to Master Yoda's. "But weren't we going to talk about me a moment ago?"

Count Dooku gaped at Darth Fozzy. "Hey...what? Wait a minute! He sounds like Master Yoda!"

"Who's Master Yoda?" the bear asked.

"An oogly green alien."

"Oh. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa."

"I want you to take him to the Jedi Temple," the Sith Lord said.

Dooku looked at his Master. "Why?"

"He has a certain gift."

"What kind of gift?"

"Telling really bad jokes."

"Oh...uhh...wait! Is _this _your spy!"

Sidous nodded. "You got it."

"What are you planning on having him doing? Blending in with them then telling jokes so they die laughing?"  
"Actually his jokes aren't very good."

"They are too!" Darth Fozy spoke up, totally offended. "I'm a _great_ comedian!"

"Really?" Dooku said raising an eyebrow. "Tell us one."

"Okay," the bear cleared his throat. "Why did the star take Beano?"

There was a silence.

"Because he had gas!" Darth Fozzy said spreading his arms out wide."Get it? Waka waka!"

Dooku snorted with laughter. Sidious didn't laugh. His face started to turn red. "Don't you get it, Master?" the Count giggled. "Gas! The stars made of gas!"

"I get it," The Sith Lord said flatly. "I don't want to hear jokes about gas right now."

"Waka wa.." Fozzy saw Sidious glaring at him. "Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh..."

"Should I take him to the Temple now?" Dooku asked.

"Please do," the Sith Lord said.

"All right," Dooku said. He looked at the bear. "Let's go."

* * *

When Sidious was sure they were gone he flopped down on his couch and sighed in relief. "Finally," he said, resting his head on a pillow. "I finally got rid of that annoying bear!"

He put his hand under the pilow and felt something fuzzy.

Sidious sat straight up and lifted the pillow. "AAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!" he screamed, seeing a big weird looking ball of fur on the couch. "RATS! I HATE RATS!"

He started wacking the thing with the pillow. "Get out of here you evil vermin!"

The rat fell on the floor. Sidious stomped it under his boot. "Eew ew! I hate vermin!"

That's when he spotted a piece of paper on the couch. He picked it up and read it.

**Gotcha! Waka waka!**

"ARGH!" he yelled, ripping up the paper. "I can't _stand_ him!"

The the Sith Lord smiled. "If I can't stand him _I_ can't _wait _to find out the _Jedi's_ reactions. Mwahahaa!"

* * *

Dooku and Darth Fozzy reached the lading pad where the Counts star ship was parked a few seconds later.

"Is that yours?" the bear asked, staring up at the ship.

"Yes," Dooku said, walking up the ramp into the ship. "Now let's go."

The bear followed him into the ship. Dooku sat down in the pilots seat and started to turn on the controls.

"Knock knock."

The Count looked at Fozzy who was sitting in the co-pilot's seat. "What?"

"No, you're suppost to say _who's there_."

"Umm who's there?"

"Water."

"Water what?"

"No you say water _who_."

"Water who?"

"_Water _you doing?"

"Uh..."

"It's a joke. Water _what are_. Get it?"

"Um...yeah..."

"What are you doing?"

"Turning on the ship."

"Why?"

"Well," Dooku said looking out the windshield. "I can't go anywhere if I don't turn it on."

"Oh."

There was a silence for a minute. "Where are we going?"

"The Jedi Temple."

"Where's that?"

"In Coruscant."

"Where's that?"

"Nearby."

"Oh. How near?"

Dooku was starting to get annoyed. "Very near," he said.

"How long?"

"A half hour," the Count said. "If you ask me anymore questions you won't be going anywhere."

"Why?"

A lightsaber came to life. "_This_ is why!" Dooku said through clenched teeth.

"Ooooooooo!" Darth Fozzy said, staring at the light blade in awe. "A glow stick!" He put out his finger to touch it. "Can I touch it?"

Dooku grinned. "Go ahead."

The instant the bear touched the blade his finger caught fire. "AHHHHHHHH!" he screamed, shaking his finger then putting it into his mouth and sucking on it. "Owww..."

"If you don't stop asking me questions I'll turn the power all the way up and chop _off _your finger."

Darth Fozzy tembled and whimpered.

"Now," Dooku said, getting into the bear's face. "Are we going to ask me anymore stupid questions?"

The bear shook his head figerously. "N...NO!"

"Good bwahaha!" Dooku turned back to the windshield.

"Can I still tell jokes?"

Dooku rolled his eyes. "I guess," he conceded.

"Good. Because I know a real good one."

"Like what?"

"Knock knock."

Dooku knew how to answer to it this time. "Whos' there."

"Banana."

"Banana who?"

"Knock knock."

"Hey you're suppost to say the punchline now."

"This joke is different."

Dooku rolled his eyes and sighed. "Whos' there?"

"Banana."

"Banana who?"

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Banana."

"Banana who?"

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Banana."

"Banana who?"

"Knock knock."

"_WHO'S THERE?"_

"Banana."

_"BANANA WHO?"_

"Knock knock..."

"That's it!" Dooku grabbed Darth Fozzy by the throat. " End this stupid joke now or I'll cut out your tongue."

"O...kay..."

"Who's there?"

"Orange."

"Orange who?"

"_Orange _you glad I didn't say _banana? _Waka waka waka!"

Dookus face turned red.

"Wanna hear another one?"

"Maybe." the Count said testily.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Ewok."

"Ewok who?"

"_Ewoke'd _the door let me in!"

Dooku's temper snapped. "I can't stand it anymore!" he dragged the bear to the back door and opened it. He held the bed joker out in mid air by the scruff of his neck.

"Ahh! Dont' drop me!" Darth Fozzzy screamed wiggling around in mid air.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"I'm a Darth Sidiou's new apprentice!"

Dooku shook him. "That's no reason."

"I...I won't bother you anymore!"

"Then, you'll shut up?"

"YES!"

Dooku smirked. "Good."

He pulled the bear back into the ship and closed the door.

* * *

It was dark when they arrived at the Jedi Temple. When Dooku's ship landed the Count practically _threw _Darth Fozzy out. "Okay, we're here," he said, unstrapping the bear and lifting him out of his seat. "Now go get 'em!"

The bear jumped out of the ship and just as he turned around to say something to Dooku the ramp lifted and the ship took off with a _WHOOSH!_

"He must be in a hurry to go somewhere," the bear figured.

* * *

In side the ship Dooku leaned back in his chair and sighed in relief. "I finally got rid of him!" he said, his voice maniacal. "I got rid of him! EWAHAHWHAHEHEIIII!"

* * *

Back on the ground Darth Fozzy stared at the entrance door to the Jedi Temple. "Rats, no door bell," he said. "I guess I'll have to knock."

He banged his paw against the giant stone doors. "Hello," he said pounding. "Is anymone there? Can you open up, please?"  
Silence. Only the echo of his knockes revirberating back to him.

_Now how am I going to get in there? Maybe they didn't hear me.. _

Darth Fozzy knocked on the door again then took a deep breath, filling his lungs with air. "**_HEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY! ISSSSSS ANYONEEEEEEEE THEREEEEEE!" _**he screamed at the top of his lungs

Still no answer.

He glanced around himself. "There's got be a way in."

He spotted a vine growing against the wall. "Aaaaaaaaaa!" he said getting an idea.

* * *

Master Yoda was just turning in when he heard a noise outside his window. _Hmm?_

The sound got louder. Now he could make out what seemed to be feet, smooth clothy feet, slidding against the Temple wall.

"What is _this_?" he asked himself. "Climbing the Temple wall someone must be."

He walked to his bedroom window which was wide open. "Find out I shall."

Just as he reached the window, the person climbing it peeked inside. Yoda was face to face with some sort of brown furry creature with big brown eyes...

_A/N_

_CLIFF HANGER!_

_Hope you liked that chapter. I'm not really a big fan of the Muppets or Fozzy Bear but I can tolerate them just as long as I don't have to watch the show everyday... Besides Fozzy is sorta funny..._

_Here's a strange piece of infoe for all of you who don't know. Frank Oz does both Fozzy Bear's and Miss Piggie's voices as well as Yoda. Ain't that weird? Here's something funny about that. When I first heard Yoda talk I thought it was Fozzy. I was thinking. **Why does that thing have Fozzy's voice? **Now I know. Once I listened to both voices for a while I realized they don't really sound the same at all. Just sometimes. _

_Yeah, I have to admit it. I don't really like Count Dooku. He always looks like he's cross-eyed. Sorry Dooku fans. I do like Master Yoda though. He's my fave. I don't _really _think he's oogly. He's just old._

_Well better start chapter 7 now._


	7. Not Funny You are!

CHAPTER 7

NOT FUNNY YOU ARE!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Yoda screamed the same time the peeping Tom did."AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The Jedi Master fell over.

"Wai!" the thing said. "Why are we screaming?"

"Why you're screaming I do not know," Yoda said from the floor, staring up at the thing. "Scared me because you did."

"What?" the thing asked, climbing in the window. "What did you say?"

"Scared me you did." Yoda said again.

"Is there something wrong with your grammer?" the thing asked, coming into the light.

Yoda saw it was a big brown bear wearing a brown cloak, a hat, and a tie. "Ewok!" the Jedi Master screamed. "Ewok you are!"

"What's an Ewok?" the bear asked.

"YOU!" Yoda exclaimed, scrambling to his feet. " Get here Ewok how did you?"

"Uh...," the bear 'Ewok' scratched his head. "Could you repeat the question in English please?"

"Get here how did you?" Yoda said again.

"What? Could you please repeat that again. Slower..."

Yoda rolled his eyes and said perfectly. "How did you get here?"

"I came here on a starship thing."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"You are who?"

"Um..."

"Who are you?"

"Oh," Darth Fozzy grinned. "I am..."

A spot light appeared and centered on him. A piano played in the background and the bear started to tap dance. "I am Fozzy Bear!" he sang. "The greatest comedian in the universe!"

Yoda wacked him down with his walking stick. "Comedian you are?" he asked. "Show me you will."

"You want me to tell you a joke?"

"Yes."

Darth Fozzy got up and thought a moment.

"Uhhh... why did the chicken cross the road?"

Yoda didn't answer.

"To get to the other side! Waka waka waka!"

Yoda stared at him then shook his head. "Funny that was not."

Darth Fozzy thought a moment. "Umm.. Why did the skydivers parashoot fall off him?"

"Because he forgot to _record!"_

Yoda said nothing then yelled. "Funny you are not! Stupid those jokes were! Get out of here!" he started to chase the bear around his room.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Darth Fozzy screamed.

"Out of here now get!" Yoda shrieked, chasing the bear into the hall.

Darth Fozzy ran down the hall in total panic. He ran as fast as he could but somehow Yoda was about to keep up with him. "He sure runs fast for an old geezer," the bear said out loud.

"Oh geezer think I am?"

WOM! WOM! Yoda's green lightsaber swung over Darth Fozzy's head.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Obi-Wan stepped out of his room then. He had been awakened by the noise. He looked up just in time to see something brown come flying at him.

"OOOF!" the Jedi exclaimed, as the thing ran into him knocking over.

"Sorry," said the thing.

"What?" Obi-Wan opened his eyes. He saw that the thing that ran into him was a brown bear. "Who in the Force are _you!_" he asked.

"Umm.. I'm a bear," the thing replied. "My names Fozzy. Fozzy Bear."

"Huh?"

"Ewok!" a voice shouted.

Darth Fozzy looked over his shoulder. He saw Master Yoda, his lightsaber still on, coming down at him from a flying leap. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the bear screamed flailing his arms as he climbed over Obi-Wan.

"Hey!" the man shouted, pushing the bear off of him. "What's the big idea?"

Just then he saw Master Yoda coming down at him with that lightsaber. "Oh boy!" he exclaimed.

The instant before Yoda's lightsaber would have cut him in half he pulled out his own and blocked it. Yoda landed on top of him. "What do you think you're doing?" Obi-Wan demanded reaching up and yanking the old Master's lightsaber away.

Yoda blinked. "Seen an unfunny Ewok have you?" he asked.

"Ewok?" the human Jedi said. "No, there are no Ewoks here."

"Yes there is," Yoda said standing on Obi-Wan's chest. "Saw one I did. Think's he's funny he does. Lame jokes he told me. Kill him I must."

"Wafor?"

"Made fun of my grammer he did."

The human Jedi raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

Yoda nodded, his big ears drooping. "Being made fun of I do not like."

"Well...Uh.. Maybe you were talking too fast..."

Yoda got right in Obi-Wan's face. "Think I talk fast do you?" he asked.

"Uhh...no... maybe... sometimes..."

Yoda let Obi-wan go. "Right you are," he agreed. 'Talk fast sometimes I do. " The old Master looked around. "Where did that Ewok go?"

Obi-Wan also looked around. "I don't know."

Yoda retrieved his lightsaber. 'Let's go," he said. "Find it we _must_."

* * *

Mace Windu stood in front of his bathroom mirror staring at his face. "Man, this acne will never go away," he whined. "How am I ever going to get as cool and popular as Anakin if I keep getting these breakouts?" 

He walked away from the mirror. "Now where did I put my Noxima?"

Just as he walked away Darth Fozzy (who somehow got into the ventalation system) popped his head out of the vent just under the bathroom sink. "Phew!" he sighed in relief. "I think I lost that crazy frog...Now I can get out of here," he started to climb out of the vent but soon found out his body wouldn't let him. "I'm STUCK!" he exclaimed.

Mace came back into the mirror with the acne cream. He didn't notice Fozzy's head sticking out of the vent until he looked up at the mirror. "Hmm...Huh? Since when do I grow a beard this fast!" he said looking in the mirror. "And when did I start looking like a bear?"

Then his reflection spoke!

"Excuse me," it said. "Could you help me out of here, please?"

Mace blinked then let out a loud. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

Yoda and Obi-Wan heard the scream from all the way down the hall. 

"What was that?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Sounded like Master Windu it did," Yoda said. "In trouble he must be. Go to him now we should."

They ran down the hall.

When they reached Mace's room they burst through the door.

"Hey Mace!" Obi-Wan called. "What's wrong!"

Mace Windu came out of the bathroom his face white as a sheet. "My mirror just spoke to me!" he gasped. "It's been possesed!"

Yoda and Obi-Wan ran into the bathroom. What they saw in there made them burst out laughing.

They saw Darth Fozzy's head sticking out of the vent!

_Hope that was funny. Sorry this chapter was so short. I promise the next one will be longer. _


	8. One Two Three PULL!

CHAPTER 8

ONE. TWO. THREE. PULL!

Mace Windu heard the two Jedi laughing and came into the bathroom. "What's so funny?" he demanded.

Obi-Wan put his arm around the head blocking the mirror. "This isn't you and your mirror isn't possessed," he laughed.

Mace stared.

"You got a visitor," Kenobi went on. He pointed to the head he had his arm around. "This bear or Ewok here was crawling in the ventalation system," he explained, poking Darth Fozzy. "I think he was trying to get out of the vent but got stuck."

Master Windu didn't look amused. "Is this another prank of Anakin's?" he demanded.

"I don't think so," Obi-Wan replied. "Anakin isn't known for this kind of pranks."

"Maybe he's trying something new."

"Umm," the head said. "Could you please help me out of here?"

"Sure," Obi-Wan snickered.

He put his hands on the bear's head and pulled. It wouldn't budge. He tried again. Still nothing. "Umm," he said, looking over his shoulder at Yoda and Mace. "Could you guys help me?"

Mace sighed. "All right," he said, rolling his eyes.

He grabbed Obi-Wan's waist. Yoda grabbed one of Mace's legs since he was too small to grab his friend's waist. They all started pulling.

No results.

"Why won't he come out?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Chop off his head we should?" Yoda suggested.

Darth Fozzy heard that. "NO!" he screamed. "Don't chop off my head! I need it to tell jokes!"

"Lame your jokes are," the old Master said, glowering at the bear head. "Not funny you are."

"So maybe the jokes I told you weren't that great," the bear said. "I was nervous. I tell better jokes when I'm calm."

"Well, don't tell any now," Obi-Wan said. "We still have to get your body out of there."

"You're a comedian?" Mace asked.

Darth Fozzy nodded.

Windu glared at him. "I hate comedians! They always make fun of everyone and everything!"

"They do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"DO TOO!"

Someone banged on the wall. "Hey, Mace! SHUP UP IN THERE!" came the angry voice of Kit Fisto from the apartment next door.

"Master Fisto!" Mace called back. "Get your behind in here now!"

"Why!"

"Because you're awake and I need your help!"

"No way!"

"KIT FISTO, GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!" Yoda screamed at the top of his lungs.

There was a silence. "Y..yes, Master Yoda," came Kit's timid voice after a few seconds. "Right away Master."

A moment later Kit Fisto came into the room wearing only his tropical fish colored boxers. Obi-Wan held in snickers. "What do you want?" the Nautolan asked grouchily.

Yoda beckond toward the bathroom. "Need you to help pull something out we do."

Kit looked discusted. "You wanted me to come in here so I could unclog Mace's toilet!"

Mace instantly said. "No! Just go in there so I can show you."

Master Fisto shrugged. "All right."

The three Masters led him into the bathroom. When he saw what the problem was his face turned up into his very familer grin. He laughed loudly. "Look's like one of your nieces or nephews clogged your vent with one of their toys on their last vistit."

"HELP!" the thing he'd mistaken for a stuffed animel yelled.

Kit's eyes grew large and his huge puples shrunk to two tiny dots. "It's alive!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah," Mace said, nodding. "And we have to get it out of there."

"What do you want _me _to do?" Kit asked, grinding his teeth.

"We want you to grab Mace Windu's waist while he grabs mine and help us pull that thing out of the vent," Obi-Wan explained.

"Okay."

Obi-Wan got into position and grabbed Darth Fozzy's head again, Mace grabbed his waist and Kit grabbed his. Yoda didn't grab anyone this time he just stood and watched.

"Okay," Obi-Wan said. "On the count of three we all pull together."

"All right," Mace and Kit said nodding.

"Here we go," Obi-Wan said. "One. Two. THREE!"

They pulled with a mighty heave. Only to discover a second later that they hadn't budged Darth Fozzy an inch.

"We need more man power," Kit said.

"I wish Anakin was awake," Obi-Wan said. "But the last time I checked on him he was snoring his head off."

Mace looked at Yoda. "What?" the green Jedi asked.

"We need your help," the Korun Master replied.

"What can I do?"

"Help us!" the three Jedi said at once.

"How?"

"Hey, you may be small but you still have muscles," Obi-Wan said. "And if that doesn't help you use the Force like you always do."

"Okay okay," Yoda said walking up to them. "Help you I will."

He grabbed Kit Fisto's leg.

"Okay," Obi-Wan said, looking over his shoulder. "Let's try again one more time."

The others nodded.

"One. Two. Three. PULL!"

The four Jedi heaved mightily.

"AHHH!" Darth Fozzy screamed. "You're ripping off my head!"

_RRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPP!_

"What was that?" Kit asked, looking around.

"It wasn't me," Yoda said.

"Don't look at me," Obi-Wan yelled from the front.

All eyes fell on Mace.

His face turned red. "What?" he said.

Yoda snorted with laughter. "Ripped his pants he did!" the old Master howled.

"It's not funny," Mace said through clenched teeth.

That just caused Yoda to laugh even harder. He fell on his back and rolled on the floor holding his sides. "Fat you are! HAHAAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Mace looked like he was about to sink into the floor.

"C'mon guys," Obi-Wan said, glaring at all the other Jedi. "We have to get this Ewok out of the ventalation system before he backs up the heating."

"Okay. HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA," Yoda said standing up and gasping. "Fine now I am. Hehheheheheeeeeeeee!"

He staggered up to Kit and grabbed his leg again. "Ready I am."

Obi-Wan sighed and rolled his eyes. "Okay then... Let's do this again..."

"Okay!"

Obi-Wan's voice roared with built up frustration . "ONE! TWO! THREE! _PULL!"_

The Jedi pulled mightily... and out came Darth Fozzy! The pull also knocked the three big Jedi onto the floor. Yoda would have been flattened if he hadn't of jumped out of the way just in time to avoid being crushed by Kit Fisto's tropical fish covered butt.

Obi-Wan, Mace, Kit, and Darth Fozzy lay on the floor with large swirly eyes.

Yoda smiled his goblin smile. "Well," he said, wiping his hands on his robe. "Fun that was..."

The others might have agreed if Mace's doorway hadn't been crowded by Shaak Ti, Aayla Secura, Adi Gallia, Anakin Skywalker, and the rest of Padawan Five (Who had decided to hold a late night practice).

"What were you doing?" Shaak asked, looking at the four male Jedi. "Having a Bachular party?"

"Uh...," Obi-Wan said. "What?"

"Oh, awesome!" one of the Padawan Five's said. "Kit Fisto's in his underpants!"

"Someone take a picture!" Whie shouted.

_FLASH! _A camera went off.

Aayla stared at Kit her blue/green eyes huge. "Kit..."

"HAHAHAHAAAA!" the rap band laughed.

Kit's face turned red. He looked like he wanted to kill Padawan Five. "Um..," he said his head breaking out in sweat drops. "Hello Aayla."

"What are you doing?" Anakin asked Obi-Wan who was the first person to get up.

Obi-Wan's long dark brownish/redish/blondish hair was sticking out in all directions. His face was full of annoyance. He picked up Darth Fozzy by the back of his dark brown cloak. "Trying to unclog Mace Windu's vent," he replied.

"Hey an Ewok!" Whie exclaimed.

"OH, AWESOME!" the band screamed. "An Ewok!"

"Hey," Anakin said. "If you don't mind can we get a closer look?"

"Sure," Obi-Wan said. He threw Darth Fozzy at the rap band. "Knock yourselves out!"

The band caught the bear and ran off with him. Darth Fozzy's scream echoed down the hall.

Now the only people in the doorway were Shaak Ti, Aayla Secura, and Adi Gallia.

"Is there something you want?" Mace asked, who had finally gotten untangled from Kit Fisto.

"We heard a noise," Adi replied.

"And came to see what it was," Shaak finished.

"That's about it," Aayla topped it off. "But we weren't expecting _this!"_ she pointed at the four male Jedi.

"It's not my fault!" Kit exclaimed scrambling to his feet and grabbing Mace's bathrobe off the door hanger. "I was sleeping when I heard these guys yelling. I told them to stop but then Master Yoda told me to get my butt in here and help them get that _thing _out of Mace's bathroom vent."

The girls stared at Yoda. "What?" he asked, his eyes wide with inocence.

"Nothing," the girls said.

Kit made his way out of the room. His face was still as red as it had been when Anakin's punk rap band had taken his picture. "I'm going back to bed," he said walking by the three women.

"Don't forget to bring me back my robe!" Mace called after him.

"Yeah yeah," Kit said, looking over his shoulder.

When the green Jedi was gone Adi, Shaak, and Aayla burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Obi-Wan asked.

The three women Jedi waved him off and walked away. "Did you see those shorts Kit was wearing?" they heard Shaak say.

"Yeah," Adi's voice wavered back to them. "Maybe Mace didn't think I'd notice but I could see _his _heart shaped shorts from that long rip in his pants!"

The women's laughter echoed down the hall as they walked away.

Yoda started for the door. He had his eyes closed because he didn't want to accidently see Mace's underpants. "Go back to bed now I should," he said.

"Umm...," Obi-Wan began.

Yoda walked into the door frame.

"I think you should watch where you're going," he finished.

The old Master opened his eyes and looked back at the two humans. "Oops," he said, grinning at them sheepishly.

Then he saw part of Mace's shorts and ran off screaming. "Pierce my eyes!" they heard him shriek.

Obi-Wan and Mace looked at eachother. The dark skinned Jedi pulled his blanket off his bed and wrapped it around himself. "I think that Ewok was sent here on purpose," the Korun Master said.

"Yeah, by who?" Obi-Wan asked.

Mace shrugged. 'The Sith maybe," he said. "But why they would send a comedian, I have no idea."

"Hmm," Obi-Wan said. "I wonder what they are doing right now?"

"I dunno," Mace said. "But I'm sure we're going to find out soon."

Boy would they ever!

_Author's note: Just wanted to point out that Whie isn't a fan character (If you didn't know that already). He's from one of my Clone Wars books: _Yoda: Dark Rendezvous. _My fave Clone Wars book._

_That's all I wanted to say._


	9. Slick

CHAPTER 9

SLICK

Awhile later when Darth Fozzy was finally able to get away from the five punk Padawans known as Padawan Five he found an area in a janitor's closet that he could send a message back to Count Dooku and Darth Sidious.

It took him awhile to get the hologramer working properly because he didn't know how to use it. He gasped in surprise when it rumbled to life and he could see the blue and black ghost figures of Darth Sidious and Count Dooku.

"What news do you bring Darth Fozzy?" Sidious asked.

"Well, I couldn't exactly get anything done," he admitted.

"Why not?" his Master demanded.

"For one thing I had to climb a vine to get into the Temple, then I ran into a crazy green monster that didn't like my jokes and tried to kill me. I got stuck in the ventalation system and a bunch of kids who think they're a rap band wanted to use me to pull a prank on someone."

Sidious stared at him boredly. "It seems to me you need a little more time to get ready," he said. "Try doing something that will make them trust you or something..."

"Like what?"

"How should I know?" the Sith shouted. "Do anything. Do their laundery, make their breakfast, clean their bathrooms, read their Padawans bedtime stories!"

Darth Fozzy put a hand on a mop lying next to him. "Mop their floors?" he asked.

"Whatever," Sidious said.

"All right. Ummm..."

"What?"

"Do you have a few bucks I can borrow?"

"What for?"

"Well I was hoping to stop by Wendy's before they closed for the day..."

His only answer was a stream of loud profanity. "Wendy's? How can you even think of Wendy's at a time like this...?"

At that instant the closet door opened. "Hey, what are you doing in here?" someone asked.

The bear turned around. He saw one of the Padawan's staring down at him. "Umm nothing," he stammered. "Just looking for a mop."

The Padawan blinked. "Did your Master punish you too?" he asked.

"Um...Yeah! That's it!"

The Padwan noticed a blue and black object hovering behind Darth Fozzy. "What's that?" he asked.

"Umm...Oh...," The bear hid the thing behind his back. "Nothing..."

"Yes, it is," the kid said, trying to peek past Fozzy to see what it was. "It looks like one of those hologram thingys."

"Do something," Sidious hissed.

"Like what?" Darth Fozzy asked.

"See you're talking to someone!" the kid said triumphantly. "I heard you."

"No, I wasn't'"

"DO SOMETHING!"

The voice startled the bear and he fell over. Right on the comunicator. The machine let out a shriek as it was crushed under Darth Fozzy's weight.

"You broke it!" the Padawan whine. "I was hoping I'd get to play some video games on it."

"Well, it looks like you can't now," Darth Fozzy said, grabbing a mop and a bucket with a word written on it that he couldn't make out. "I think we'd better get started on moping these floors now."

"Umm, I don't think you should use that," the kid said.

"Why not?"

"That bucket says-"

"Can't talk farther," Darth Fozzy said, trooping out of the closet. "I have work to do!"

* * *

"How long do you think it will take the Jedi to figure out who Darth Fozzy really is?" Count Dooku asked Sidous.

"As long as they are distracted by your play war," the Sith replied, taking a sip of Mountain Dew and letting out a huge beltch. "Boy this stuff is good! Anyway we have other things to worry about."

"Yeah, like what?"

"For one thing I still can't figure out where to take my mom for Mother's Day," Sidious said leaning back on the couch. "For another someone swiped the cherry off my Happy Ending Sundai the last time I was at Friendlies."

"So I guese that place is out for Mother's Day huh."

"Yup can't have thieves stealing my mom's dessert now can we...? Another thing I have to worry about is how much my G. I. Joes will make on Ebay..."

"_That's_ it!"

"No, there's one more thing we have to worry about."

"Yeah what?'

"I think Grievous might have a girlfriend."

Dooku's eyes grew as big as saucers. "WHAT! WHO!"

Sidous shrugged. "I dunno."

"How are you even sure he has one?"

"By the way he's acting. He's acting all spaced out and..."

"He always acts that way! Don't you even know how your own minion acts!"

"So, okay I don't know," Sidous said affended. "But that doesn't matter. I want you to find out who it is!"

"Why?"

The Sith grinned hugely. "So I can hold it over him," he said.

"Why!"

"Because I think it's funny when people get picked on about their crushes that they don't want anyone to know about," Dooku's Master explained. "You get all over their case and their face started to turn colors. I just love it when their face turns so red they look like they have a tomato for a head!"

"Uhh..."

"I remember when I had a crush on one of the lady Jedi..." the Sith went on. "One of my friends teased me so badly my face was so red I looked like I had replaised it with a giant apple." he chuckled. "Stayed that way for a whole week..." Here he banged the table. "Then the jerk goes and tells the Jedi. Do you know what _she did!_"

"No," Dooku said. "I..."

"She _laughed!" _Sidious bellowed. "_Right in my _FACE!"

"What did you do?"

Sidous leaned back on the couch smiling again. 'I laughed back," he replied. "Even louder."

_How childish is that! _Dooku didn't say. What he did say was. "Really...Uh how?"

"Like this!" the Sith climbed onto the coffee table and stood on his hands and knees. He got right in the Count's face and opened his mouth. "**MWAGAGAAAHHHHHAAAAAAHABWAHAHAHAHAHAHAWAHAHAH!" **

Dooku fell over. "Your breath _stinks!" _he howled, holding his nose. "What did you _ eat!"_

"Garlic," Sidious said, sitting back on the couch again. "It scares away vampires."

"Vampires!" Dooku exclaimed glancing around. "There are _vampires_ on Coruscant!"

"Of course not," the Sith replied crossed his legs. "But one can never be sure..."

The Count gulped so loudly he sounded like a bull frog.

" But no need to worry, my apprentice. The vampires would never harm anyone who works for the Sith"-Dooku sighed, relieved-"Werewolves on the other hand..."

"AHHHH!" the Count screamed. "WEREWOLVES!"

"Yes, Werewolves," Sidious went on acting like he wasn't aware of how much he was scaring his apprentice. "One bite from them and you become one every full moon." He sighed as if remembering a happy memory. "I remember when I was bitten by a Werewolf..."

"You...you were _bitten _by a _Werewolf!" _ Dooku gasped.

"Of course," Sidious went on cheerfully. "The poor wolf was probably high on something and wasn't aware of what he was doing. Once he sank his teeth in me he realized his error." The Sith sniffed as if affended. "Died on the spot. Heh, I must have tasted sour or something. But it was his own fault. The poor fool!"

"Ma..." Dookus breath caught in his throat. The full moon shone in from a window to Sidious' left. In the light it looked like the Sith was going through a metamorphasis.He seemed to be growing hair and dog ears "Master...?'

The Sith looked at his apprentcie. His Master looked like his face was covered in gray animel hair. "Yes, Tyranus?" he asked in a low creepy voice.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Dooku screamed, getting up and running out of the room. "Werewolf!"

From the sofa Sidious sat, totally normal. His blinked in confusion. "Was it something I said?" he asked himself taking another sip of his Mountain Dew.

* * *

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" Dooku screamed, running down the hall. "SIDIOUS IS A WEREWOLF!"

The Count was scared he wasn't watching where he was going. Without warning he found himself sliding down the halls at top speed. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he shrieked spinning his arms around in circles. "HELP!"

General Grievous and Asajj Ventress where walking farther down the hall having a tactical conversation when the bald woman saw something out of the corner of her eye. "What?" she said, turning her head.

"Huh?" The biodriod said, also turning his head.

They both saw someone who looked like Count Dooku coming toward them at high speeds, arms flailing, slidding down the hall screaming his head off. "WHAT THE!" they said the instant before he flew into them.

The impact was so great in knocked them over, even Grievous, who had very good balance, was bowled over.

They all lay on the floor a moment. Dooku's body was draped over Grievous, who was on top of Asajj. Finally the woman said grouchily. "Greivous get your tin can off of me! You're breaking my spine!"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Grievous exclaimed, jumping up, and acidently throwing Dooku against the wall. "Here let me help you up." he offered his hand.

Asajj smacked it away and stood. She looked down at her clothes. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" she screamed. "YOU LEAKED OIL ALL OVER MY BRAND NEW KHAKI PANTS!"

"I DIDN'T DO IT ON _PURPOSE!" _he yelled. "STUPID DOOKU KICKED A HOLE IN MY CHEST WITH HIS BIG FEET!"

The woman crossed her arms. "Don't blame our boss for your leaky radiator!" she said.

"Fine," he said his puples growing into slits. He pointed a durasteel finger in her face as he towered over her. "I'll blame _you!"_

Asajj's twin lightsabers came to life. 'You'd better not!" she shouted.

Grievous arms split as he took out four lightsabers. "Well, I am!" he snarled.

Then they stood there for a moment staring at each other. Suddenly Grievious dropped his weapons and burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Asajj demanded.

The General howled with laughter as he pulled out a mirror and shoved it in her face. "You!" he chuckled. "You're face looks so _funny!"_

Asajj glared into the mirror a moment then started to laugh herself. "HAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAA!" she cackled. "I do look funny, don't I?"

"C'mere!" Grievous said grabbing her. "Time for nogies!"

He ran his knuckles over her bald head.

"Ow ow! Hahahaha!" she shrieked. "Stop it! HAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Get a room!" a voice screamed.

Grievous stopped what he was doing and he and Asajj both looked at the wall. They saw Dooku laying against it _upsidedown! _

The evil pair lost it again and fell over laughing.

"It's not funny," Dooku said, using the Force to get rightsideup again. He reached up and used the Force to smack the two's head together.

"Ow!" Asajj yelled, rubbing her head with her hand. 'That hurts!"

"I didn't feel a thing," Grievous said.

"Shut up, both of you," the Count shouted.

His minions looked at him. "What _do _you _want?" _Asajj demanded, still rubbing her sore head.

"I...," Dooku stopped, he couldn't tell them he knew their boss was a Werewolf. they'd never believe him. Instead he looked at his feet. He saw a wet bar of soup next to his expensive black cashmere boots. "I would like to know," he went on, stooping over and picking up the soap. "Who left this on the floor."

Grievous and Asajj looked at eachother. "Don't look at me!" they said at the same time. "_I _didnt' _do_ it!"

"Well, someone did it!" Dooku shouted.

"Maybe it was that bear we saw earlier," Asajj said.

"Yeah, the fur ball that called himself Darth Flunky...," Grievous added.

"Darth _Fozzy," _the Count corrected. "And he..." Dooku paused to think it over. That bear with that bad jokes could have... "Grrr!" he growled, squeezing the soap in his fist. "When I get my hands on that bear...!"

Squeeze! POP!

The soap soured out of Dooku's hand and straight up into the air. "Where'd it go?" he asked, looking in the air.

The soap sailed down at him with unimaginalbe speed. BONG! Smack! Right into his head.

The Count saw stars. "Don't forget to take the cake out of the oven before you go to Maggie's," he said before he fell over.

Asajj and Grievous looked at Dooku then at eachother. "Ouch," they said at the same time. 'That's gotta hurt."

"You see if he's alright," the General said.

"Why me!" she demanded.

"Because if you don't I'll smash that cueball you call a head!" he said, shoving his fist under he nose. "And I don't feel like leaning over him. The last time I leaned over to see something when you were with me you kicked me in the rear and knocked me over."

The woman stared at the durasteel hand a moment then gulped. "All right," she said walking over to the Cpunt.

"Dooku," she said, leaning over him. "Are you alright?"

Her only answer was. "Look the stars are out tonight! Aren't they beautiful!"

"He's fine," she said, standing back up quickly so the General couldn't get revenge.

Grievous didn't look too happy. He'd been hoping he'd be able to get back at her. "Are you sure?"

"Sure as I'll ever be," she said, walking past him. "Now, let's go. I hear the archade calling. And you still owe me a back massage since you lost to me on Space Raders."

Grievous rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah," he said, following her down the hall. "Can't we do three out of five?"

"We always do that and I always win."

"Not today! I'm feeling lucky!"

"You always say that!"

Their voices faded down the hall...

"Hey, let's pull a prank on Dookku while he's out."

"Okay. What did you have in mind..."


	10. Attack of the Pail

CHAPTER 10

ATTACK OF THE PAIL

Darth Fozzy set the mop and bucket on the floor. He was glad to finally be able to set that thing down. It was the heaviest thing he'd ever carried. "Well," he said, panting from the exortion. "Time to start."

He pulled the bucket over to examine it. He tried to read the word. "Spac kl...," he read. "What is spackl? Must be some sort of already mixed floor cleaner and water.

He tried to open the top. It didn't budge. "What's wrong with this thing?" he asked, straining to pull the lid off. "Why won't it open!"

The bear pulled on it a bit longer then gave up. He leaned against the bucket panting. "Maybe I should use a crowbar."

He ran off to find one.

* * *

A few minutes later Mace Windu was walking down the exact same hall when he found himself lying flat on the floor. "Ow!" he moaned. "What...! How did I end up face flat on the floor?" He looked over at his feet. He saw a bucket lying on it's side. His legs were draped over it. "What the-! Who left that there!"

He stood up and stared down at the bucket. "Who put a thing of spackle here for me to trip on?" he exclaimed. "Well they won't get away with this! I'm going to report whoever it was!"

The Korun Jedi walked away.

A while later Anakin was coming down the same hallway and also ended up on the floor. "Wha?" he said, looking at his feet.

When he saw bucket of spackle on the floor his short temper snapped. "Grrr! Who left this thing here?" he demanded, getting to his feet. "Those stupid clean up driods!"

He kicked the bucket and hurt his toe. "OOOOOOWWWWWWWW!" he howled, grabbing his foot and dancing around on only one. "OW OWOWOWOWWW!" He glared hatefully at the bucket. "STUPID BUCKET!" He kicked it again. "YEOWW!"

The force of the second kick caused the bucket to start rolling. Before Anakin could try to stop it it went rolling down the hall. "Uh oh," he said. "I have a bad feeling about this..."

* * *

The bucket rolled down the hallway pushed along by people who were spreading their Force powers beyond their rooms. This just caused it to roll even faster. So did a flight of stairs. By the time it reached the area where the Younglings were practicing hitting targets without seeing them it had almost reached light speed.

Master Yoda was there, as always, helping the kids get better at what they were doing. He was so into what he was saying he didn't realize the bucket was rocketing toward him. "Right that is," he was saying. "Use the Force..."

That was a mistake. The kids did use the Force all right. There combined ability made the bucket go even faster.

Suddenly Yoda found himself going head over heals in the air. "What the!"

The Younglings didn't see the bucket but the old Jedi did. It was heading straight for them. "LOOK OUT!"

Before the kids figuered out what he was saying the bucket ran into them and sent them flying. It didn't stop there. It flew through the window and into the garden.

Yoda landed easily on the floor. He ran up to the children. "Is everyone all right?"

The Younglings, being only like three and four years old, stared at him a moment then all started to wail.

"WAHHHHHHHHHH! I got hit in the face, Master!" a girl Twi'lek replied. "Someone hit me!"

"Nobody hit you," he said, trying to make her feel better. "It was a-!"

"Jok did it!" she wailed, pointing at a human boy. "He _hit_ me!"

The boy started at her. "No, I didn't!"

The girl faced him. "Yes, you did!" she yelled.

"Children please-!"

Yoda was interupted when all the kids got up and started accusing each other. "Saphire punched me in the stomach!" "I did not, Magro, you hit me!" "Zel, how could you be so mean!" "I didn't do it!"

Now all twenty little Jedi Padwans were yelling. Yoda couldn't stop them. Soon the little lightsabers came on. The old Jedi couldn't let them do that. "NO!" he yelled. "PUT THAT AWAY YOU MUST! USE THAT ON EACHOTHER YOU SHOULD _NOT_"

The boy called Jok payed no attention. He hit the Twi'lek girl in the arm. She started to scream

"Jok," Yoda said. "Apoligize to her you must!"

But the Twi'lek had other ideas. She hit the boy with her lightsaber. He started wailing. This caused the other little kids to use theirs. Soon all twenty little children turned the classroom into a sparring room.

* * *

The bucket rolled into the garden. Now it had turned into a homing missle (Moved along by Sidious who somehow knew what was going on at the Temple). It searched for a target.

That target happened to be Kit Fitso. He was in the garden with Aayla Secura.

Just as he took her hand and leaned over for a kiss the thing flew at him and knocked him over. "Hey!" he yelled at Aayla from the ground. "What did you do that for!"

The Twi'lek stared at him. "Did what for?" she asked.

"Why did you knock me over?" he demanded, getting in her face.

"What!" she said. "I didn't knock you over!"

"Yes, you did!"

"No, I didn't!"

Adi Gallia and Plo Koon stood nearby. they heard the two Jedi yelling. "How immature,"Adi said, glowering at them. "Only little kids do that 'Did not' 'Did too' game."

"Maybe," Plo Koon agreed. "But sometimes even grownups stoop to-AHHHH!"

The Kel Dor went flying backwards into the pond.

"Plo!" Adi exclaimed, running up to him. "Are you okay? Why did you jump backwards like that?"

He stared up at her. "I didn't!" he shouted. "Something ran into me!" He pointed a clawed finger. "And there it goes!"

The woman turned her head just in time to see something weird looking roll around the corner.

* * *

"STOP THIS MADNESS NOW YOU MUST!" Yoda yelled at the top of his lungs.

All the Younglings stopped with their daycare brawl and looked up at him.

"Enough I have had," he said. "Bad you all have been. Punish you all I must!"

The children stared at him a moment then they all let out a yell and went after him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" he screamed, running out of the classroom with a whole army of Younglings chasing after him.

* * *

"Mace Windu!"

The Korun Master stopped. He'd been walking in the hall looking for the Padawan that had left the spackle bucket in the hallway. He hadn't expected anyone to be wanting him for something. Actually it had sounded like a lot of anyones. He looked over his shoulder.

The Jedi saw Adi Gallia, Plo Koon, Maks Leem, Aayla Secura, Ki-Adi-Mundi, Kit Fisto, and Jai Maruk standing behind him. "Uh, hi everyone," he said, looking them over. "Is there something you want?"

"Come with us," they said.

Mace followed them to someone's apartment. The Jedi knew whose it was. "Why are you taking me to Obi-Wan's apartment?" he asked.

"We need you to talk to Master Kenobi about young Skywalker," Adi Gallia replied.

"Why?"

"He's been up to his old tricks again," Kit Fisto replied.

"Huh?"

"He send a remote control tripper after us!" Aayla Secura exclaimed.

"Uhhh..."

Plo Koon rang Obi-Wan's door bell. "You have to talk to them," he said.

"Wha?"

Obi-Wan opened the door instantly. He stared in surprise at all the Jedi. "Um," he said. "Is there something you all want?"

Ki-Adi-Mundi stepped forward. "We need to speak to you about Young Skywalker," he said.

Obi-wan sighed. _What has he done _now "Sure," the Jedi Knight said, stepping out of his apartment, the door closing behind him. "What about him?"

"He's playing pranks again!" Aayla spoke up.

"He is? I thought he was too busy with his band to play any pranks..."

"Well he was!" Adi cut in. "He sent some sort of remote controled tripper and it has been knocking us all over all day!"

"A remote controled WHAT!" Obi-Wan exclaimed. "I've never heard of it. You all must be seeing thing-"

Suddenly they all heard a rumbling. Every single Jedi turned their heads to see what it was. The very same spackle bucket came right at them. 'There it is again!" Plo Koon screamed like a girl. "The remote control tripper!"

Mace stared at the bucket. It looked faintly familer.

"Ahhh!" Maks Leem shrieked. "We gotta get out of the way!"

Too late. The bucket flew right into them knocking them over and skattering them like Bowling Pins.

* * *

Yoda had finally gotten away from the nutso Younglings, who seemed to be out for blood, his blood. He'd taken an elevator up to the fourth floor. When he'd stepped into the hall he'd sighed in relief. "Alive I am!" he exclaimed. "Man... Cute, Younglings look. But cute in a pack, Younglings do not act!"

He heard a moaning sound. "Huh?"

A bunch of moans followed. "What is that?"

He walked toward the sound. He rounded a corner and stared in in confusion at what he saw. Nine Jedi Knights on top of eachother.

"Guys?"

Mace looked up at him. The Korun had Plo Koon and Aayla Secura on top of him. "Um, hello, Master," he said.

The old Jedi shook his head. "Fooling around in the hall were you?" he asked.

"What?" Mace exclaimed.

"Playing football in the Temple you all should not," Yoda went on. "Bad example for the children you are."

"We weren't playing football!" Mace shouted.

"Then what were you doing?"

"We were just standing here went a possesed bucket of spackle came flying at us!"

"A what?" Yoda shook his head. Mace Windu had lost it. "The infirmary you must go."

"Why?"

"A head injury you have."

"I do not!" Mace shouted. "A rogue spackle bucket did do this." he pointed. "And there it is!"

Yoda turned his head. He saw a bucket of something rolling down the hall. It stopped in front of the elevator. Yoda's eyes got big as the doors opened and the bucket rolled in the shaft and disappeared.

_Author's note: Hope that was funny. Hmm, I'm running out of ideas for this. If it wouldn't hurt could some of you help me out a little? I need ideas for new chapters. Could you help me out? Pretty please?_


	11. Pyroflamer

CHAPTER 11

PYROFLAMER

_This is happening the same time the spackle bucket is on the rolling rampage_

A few minutes after Anakin had kicked the bucket and send it on a rampage through the entire Temple, Darth Fozzy returned to the spot in the hall where he had left it with the crowbar. It was only then when he discovered that the bucket was gone and so was the mop.

"Now where did they go?" he asked himself. "Who would take them anyway?"

A cleaning driod rolled past with the mop. Fozzy's eyes popped out. "Hey!" he yelled, running after it. "Gat back here with that!" he chased the driod down the hall.

He hadn't gotten more than two feet when he heard an annoying whiny sound coming from one of the rooms. He put his hands over his ears. "What is that?" he said out loud.

The bear decided to find out.

He followed the sound to a room far down the hall. The door was partway open so he peeked in. He saw that kid Anakin Skywalker sitting on a pillow on the floor surounded by candles. He seemed to be in the middle of some sort of ritual or something.

_What in the world is he doing?_

Darth Fozzy crept into the room. He saw a huge picture of a beautiful woman on the wall in front of Anakin. "What is he doing?"

The bear got closer. Now he stood behind a huge candle holder. Now he cpuld hear what Anakin was saying.

"Oh, Padme. My Padme. I will not let anyone else have you! I will do anything to keep you from anyone else! I will even create a shrine for you!"

Anakin got up and started dancing around. "PADME PADME PADME!" he chanted. "MY BELOVED PADME!"

Darth Fozzy saw his face now. Anakin was wearing a weird mask. It looked like one of those African Death Masks.

Darth Fozzy screamed and fell back against a candle holder behind him. That candle holder knocked over another candle holder, which knocked over another candle holder, and so on and so on.

Finally the last candle holder fall right where Anakin was dancing. It fell in the way just as Anakin's rear end swung by that spot.

The candle instantly started Anakin's butt on fire.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Darth Fozzy screamed, running from the room. "FIRE FIRE!"

Anakin stopped what he was doing and stood still a moment. "Fire?" he said. He sniffed the air. "Something's burning." He turned around. He saw where the fire was coming from.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed, running out of the Shrine room. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

Luminara Undili and her Padawan Barriss Offee were walking down the hall talking about which french frie tasted better (Mcdonalds or Burger King) when they saw a strange sight. 

They saw a whole bunch of little Younglings holding lightsabers chasing Master Yoda down the hall. Just as they went by the two woman saw a weird bucket come flying in the opposit direction. It flew past them, turned a corner, and vanished. Just as they were getting over the shock of _that _a strange creature came running at them.

It looked like a Jedi but there was something weird about its face. It looked like its face was made of a screaming face painted on a piece of thyssel bark wood.

"What is that?" Barriss asked her Master.

"I don't know," Luminara replied. "But I don't like the looks of it."

The thing ran up to them. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" it screamed. "MYREAREND'SONFIRE!"

The women pulled out their lightsabers. "A SITH!" the older one yelled. "A Sith in the Temple!"

The 'Sith' saw their lightsabers and screamed even louder. It ran in the oppsite direction its rear end in flames.

When it was gone Barriss looked up at Luminara. "Did you see that?" she asked.

Luminara nodded. "Yes I did," she said. "I just can't believe it!"

* * *

Depa Billada, former Padwan of Mace Windu, banged hard on the front plastic of the Temple's only vending machine. It refused to work right.  
"Give me my Aquafina!" she yelled, banging on it with both fists. "I'm thirsty! Why won't you workr! Master Mace was suppost to fix this! I'm going to have to talk to him about that." 

BANG BANG BANG!

"Fine, I'll do it the old fashion way."

Using the Force she lifted the vending machine off the floor and squeezed it like a Capri Sun cooler. The machine creaked and whined loudly then there was a little; Ding.

Depa set the machine down and picked up her water. "Thank you." she told it sarcasticly.

Just as she opened it somebody in a freaky mask ran up to her. She was about to pull out her lightsaber but the thing shouted. "DON'T! PLEASE JUST PUT ME OUT PLEASE! IT HURTS! OWOWOWWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Depa blinked. "What?"

The thjing turned around it's arms flailing. "PUTMEOUT! PUTMEOUT!"

The woman took one look at the flames coming from the thing's rear end and used up her whole entire bottle of water on it. The flames sizzled and went out.

The thing sighed in relief and sank to the floor. "Aw," it said in Anakin's voice. "That's better.."

"Anakin?" Depa said, looking at the masked thing's face.

He looked at her. "Yeah?"

"What is that thing on your face?"

"My wha...! OH NO!" he ripped off the mask. She saw his face was beat red. "Uh... you never saw that."

"Huh?"

Suddenly Anakins face filled with alarm. "OHNOMYSHRINEISON FIRE!" he wailed, running off his arms spinning around in circles. "MYBELOVEDPADME!"

In a few seconds he was gone.

Depa stared blinking into the cloud of smoke he had laft behind. "Uh what?"

_Author note: Hope that was funny._

_Anyway part of the chappy was inspired by that girl from the Hey Arnold cartoon (Helga the girl with the shrine). most was by me. Hehehe it seems that Darth Fozzy is unknowingly making the Jedi's lives miserable. Hehehe_

_Oh yeah I have to give credit._

_TheAmazingTecnocolorRingWraith gave me idea as wel. thank again tecnocolerring!_


	12. Ice Cream and Buttered Lobster

CHAPTER 12

Ice Cream and Buttered Lobster

A few hours later Darth Fozzy peeked his head out of a garbage can. He looked back and forth searching for the monster with the mask. He didn't see it anywhere.

Sighing with relief he started to climb out of the garbage can.

Suddenly there was a loud creaking sound and the garbage can began to rise off the floor.

"What!" Darth Fozzy looked over his shoulder.

He saw one of those robot's called Garbage Driods holding the can in its fork shaped hands. The thing started to roll away with the tin waste bucket on tiny rollerskate shaped wheels.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" the bear screamed, trying to get out of the garbage can. "LET ME OUT! PUT ME DOWN!"

The droid paid no attention. It rolled to an area near the fire escape and pushed a button in the wall. A part of the wall opened and the driod emptide the garbage into the garbage shoot. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Darth Fozzy screamed, as he fell down the shiny slippery silver slide. "I'm going out with the trash, literally!"

* * *

"Okay you two," Count Dooku said paising in front of Asajj Ventress and General Grievous. "It's time to send you two to your new locations."

"Like?" Asajj asked.

"Asajj, you will be to the planet of Al La Mode."

"AL La Mode?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Dooku explained. "We are out of ice cream. You will be going there to steal all the ice cream from the La Modians."

"_ICE CREAM_!" she shrieked.

Grievous started cracking up. As he laughed he began to have a coughing fit. His eyes bugged out and he grabbed his throat and wheezed.

"And Grievous will be going to Earth."

Grievous gasped. "_EARTH!"_

Dooku nodded. "Sidious wants you to go to Boston and pick up some buttered lobster."

"LOBSTER!" Grievous screamed. "I am a cyborg _General! _I command a fleet of driods! I am one of most valuable people you have! And what do you want me to get!" Here Grievous voice got real loud and he started coughing again. "BUTTERED LOBSTER! Oh all the stupid pieces of-"

Dooku shrugged. "That's what he wants. I think you should just get over it. Besides." Here he closed his eyes and turned sidways as he said. "The fresh ocean air will be good for your ashmetic lungs of yous."

"Why you!" Grievous lunged forward.

Two of his Magna Guards grabbed his arms. "Calm down General," Magna 1 said. "He's just a rich loser. Pay him no mind."

Grievous panted for a moment then calmed down. "Okay," he said. "I'm fine now." He turned away from the Count as the Magna Guards let him go. "Buttered Lobster," he muttered. "The very idea..."

"Look on the bright side," Asajj said to him. "At least you don't have to worry about a thousand tons of frozen milk and cream with mint flavor added melting in your ship and creating a sticky mess."

"Speaking of ships," Dooku said. "I just got you a new ship Asajj."

"Really?" she asked practically drolling at the thought. "What? Where is it?"

"At Vjun," Dooku replied.

"Vjun?" her face fell. "That place! That _pollated _word of man eating moss! Why that place!"

"Cuz," Dooku repied. "That's where I have it."

"When will I be getting my ship back?" Grievous asked. "The _Invisable Hand _has been in the hardwear shop for much too long."

"Well they are still working on it," Dooku replied. "You shouldn't have been fooling around with it. Barrel rolls aren't in the insurence."

"Well how was I suppost to know that star was going to have a supernova?"

The Count rolled his eyes. _He didn't know that the star was pratically burting! How did I get stuck with such morons?_

"Let's go," he said turning away. "We have a lot to do."

When Dooku had his backs to them Asajj and Grievous stuck their tongues out at him. (Which was a weird thing for Grievous because of his mask) then followed him down the hall.

_A/N _

_Sorry this chappy was so short. As I said before I'm kinda running outta ideas. Hope you all liked it anyway._


	13. Lobster and Fangirls

Chapter 13

Lobsetr and Fan Girls

"I'm bored," Grievous said a few hours later.

"Me too," Asajj agreed, leaning her cheek on her right hand.

The two were in the back seats of Count Dooku's starship.

"What do you want to do?"

"I dunno."

"Well we have to do _something_!"

"Like what?"

Grievous snapped his fingers. "I know what we can do!" the General exclaimed.

Asajj raised an eyebrow. _This is a first. _"What?"

"Let's play 'Road Trip'!"

"Okay. Same rules as always?"

"Yup."

"Okay," Asajj said. "I'll start. First one to forget loses."

"All right."

"I'm going on a road trip and I'm taking a Angry Alderanian."

"I'm going on a road trip and I'm taking a Bloated Bantha and a Angry Alderanian."

And so it went... for the next four hours.

Finally Dooku couldn't stand it anymore. As soon as he saw the blue and green planet called Earth he aimed his ship for it. He turned his ship so fast he knocked Asajj and the General out of their chairs.

"Hey!" Asajj shouted. "What did you do that for?"

"For once thing we are in the Milky Way galaxy and for another I am sick of you two making up weirder and weirder things to take on your road trip," the Count said. "A Horny Hungry Hutt? Good grief! What have you two been smoking?"

"Weed!" Asajj exclaimed, smiling goofily.

"You should have joined us," Grievous said.

I have no intention of taking part in such an uncivalized game or getting wasted."

"Why not it's great fun!" the bald woman said grinning hugely.

"Whatever."

"So what are we doing here?" Grievous asked, looking out the windshield at the planet Earth.

"Hello," Dooku said. "Where have your ears been the past few hours? Earth. USA. Boston. Lobster."

"Oh. Oh yeah."

Dooku landed the ship just outside of Boston Harber. "I'll wait for you," he said.

"Whatever," Grievous said, stepping out of the ship.

"I wanna come too!" Asajj shouted jumping out of the ship.

"Why do you want to come?" Dooku demanded.

"Well," Asajj said. "I've never been to Earth. I wanna get some souvaniers."

Dooku sighed and shook his head. "Women."

The bald woman turned to Grievous. "Shall we go?" she asked, putting out her arm.

Grievous got into the swing of things. "Let's,' he said, linking arms with her. "And before we head back let's stop at the local bar..."  
"DON'T YOU DARE WASTE MY CREDIT'S ON YOUR AWEFUL HABIT!" Dooku shouted after them. "You can have your Happy Hour when we get to Coruscant!"

"But the drinks are so good here," Grievous started to protest.

"If you wanna drink something drink water," Dooku called to them. "Try some Aquafina! You know their moto 'The more water you drink the better you'll feel...'."

"So make your body happy!" the two called as they walked away. "Drink more water! Aquafina! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!"

"Wise guys," Dooku muttered as their voices faded away.

* * *

Boston harber was full of lobster fishermen. Asajj didn't spend much time in the smelly place. She ran into the city to look around.

Grievous didn't mind the fishy smell. Unlike the woman he couldn't smell it anyway.

_Besides, _he thought. _I don't have time to worry about how smelly this place is. I have lobster to get._

The General tapped a fisherman on the back. "Excuse me," he said politly. "Can you help me?"

The man turned around. "Sure...AHH!" he yelped when he saw the cyborg.

"Can you help me?" Grievous asked again.

"Umm... what can I do for you...?" the fisherman asked.

"I'm looking for a place that sells lobsters," the General replied. "Do you know of a place?"

"Yeah."

"Where?'

"Uh... uh.. you're standing on it."

Grievous looked around cluelessly. "I am!"

"Y-yes."

Grievous looked down at the human. "So you're the fisherman?" he asked.

The man nodded.

"Okay," Grievous said. "I need two dozen lobsters."

"Okay," the man said, running of to get the crustations. "I'll be right back!"

"You'd better!"

As Grievous waited he looked around the harber. He noticed everyone was staring at him. "What are _you_ all looking at?" he demanded.

"Nobody!" they all said at once.

"Then get out of here!'

The fishermen went running.

A minute later the lobster fisherman came back with a wooden box full of lobsters. "H-here y-you go."

"Thanks," the General said, taking the box. "How much credit do I owe you?'

"Depends on what you have," the man said. "Master card, Visa, Platinum..."

Grievous grabbed him by the throat. "Are you making fun of me?" he demanded.

"NO!" the man wailed. "No... No... NONONONONONONO!"

"Then shut up," Grievous said.

The man buttoned his lip.

"Fine," the cyborg said. "If you don't tell me how much this is I'll just take it."

"You do that!' the fisherman said, grinning wobbly. "Take it! Take it all! It's free!'

Grievous snorted and walked away.

* * *

A few minutes later Grievous found himself wandering the streets of Boston. He didn't want to admit it but he was lost.

"Now where did Dooku land that ship?" he wondered, putting his hand on his mask.

"Maybe I should try-"

"OHMIGOD!" a voice behind him screeched.

Grievous turned around. He saw a bunch of human girls all staring at him. By the looks on their faces he could tell they were planning trouble... for him!

_I have a bad feeling about this..._

"Do you know who that is?" one girl asked her friend.

"Who?" that girl asked.

"That's General Grievous!"

"General Grievous? IIIIIEEEEEAAAAAAA!"

"Let's get him!"

_Oh boy..._

Before he knew what was happening the girls came running at him.

"On no!" he exclaimed, his puples growing even smaller. "No! Not today! I'm outta here!"

And off he ran. With about a million deranged fangirls chasing after him.

_A/N_

_Running out of ideas again. This was the only thing I could think of. I hope you all liked it. Oh, I added the Aquafina part when I eddited this. I thought it would be funny._


	14. Room Of A Thousand Floods

CHAPTER 14

ROOM OF A THOUSAND FLOODS

_A/N: This is happening while Dooku, Grievous, and Asajj are in Boston_

Padawan's Whie Malreaux and Tallisibeth Enwandung-Esterhazy (Nicknamed Scout) stood in front of the computer that controled the weather in the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

"I don't know if this is a good idea, Scout," Whie said, looking at the redhead. "If Master Leem and Master Kim find out what we are doing we'll be in trouble for sure."

"I don't care," Scout said. "Besides we're not doing anything wrong. We're just watering the garden."

"Didn't Master Yoda want you to use a water bucket?"

Scout laughed. "If I used the water bucket it would take me forever to water those plants. Besides Master Kim taught me how to change the atmosphere in most of the garden chambers. I'm only going to make it rain in there."

"All right," Whie said. "Go ahead. I have to go anyway. I have a band practice this afternoon."

He turned to go.

"Oh, no you don't!" Scout said, grabbing the belt of his tunic. "I know what you're planning on doing. As soon as you leave you're going to tell someone what I'm up to."

"No, I'm not," Whie protested.

"Sit down, _Padawan_!" Scout ordered with such authority he had to obey.

As soon as he was seated Scout turned back to the screen. "Time to get to work," she said, typing on the keyboard.

* * *

Master Yoda sat in the Room of a Thousand Fountains doing his rutine meditations when a drop of water slashed on his left ear. 

_Huh?  
_The old Jedi opened his eyes. He looked around himself and at the ceiling.

A fat drop of water hit him in the face.

_What? _Raining_ it is?_

He shrugged. A little rain never hurt anyone. He was just surprised to see it raining. _Inside the building._

_Hmmm. A leak in the roof there must be..._

_

* * *

_

"Is it working?" Whie asked, looking over at the screen.

Scout looked toward the screen as well. She could read the words **Entered Command: Complete.**

"Yes," she said. "it's working." She leaned back in her chair and smiled. "Now I don't have to break my arm carring that water bucket to and from the bathroom anymore."

"The _bathroom!" _Whie exclaimed.

"Yeah," she said. "I use the sink to fill the watering can."

Whie was about to reply when he heard a clanging sound above their heads.

"What is that?" he asked.

Scout looked toward the ceiling. "I don't know," she said. "It sounds like one of the Younglings might be using the garbage shute for a slide again."

"And got stuck!" Whie exclaimed.

"We'd better get them out," Scout said.

Whie pulled out his lightsaber and began to cut a hole in the room with it. 'Don't worry!" he called. "We'll get you out!"

After a few minutes he was able to cut a hole in the ceiling. "Okay," he said. "You can come-"

A brown ball of fur popped through the hole and landed on his face. "GAH!" the Padawan yelped, falling backward.

He hadn't had time to turn off his lightsaber. When he fell backward his lightsaber hand fell into the computer. The blade pierced the screen.

* * *

Master Yoda noticed it was raining even harder now. Something told him this was no leak. 

He looked at the ceiling again. It looked like the sprinkler system had come on. And was going haywire!

"What's going on?" he asked, standing up on his favorite rock. "Who turned that on? Playing with the climate control somone is!"

"Whie!" Scout shrieked, staring at the damaged screen. "Look what you did!"

Whie pulled the furball off his face. His lightsaber had completely impailed the computer screen.

"Oops," he said. "Sorry about that."

"Getting out of here I am!" Yoda shouted, jumping off his rock.

And nearly drowning in water above his head.

Thge Jedi quickly scrambled out of the water and looked around. The whole room was full of water. It looked like and ocean! "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed in panic. "Flooded the room someone has!"

* * *

Scout grabbed Whie's shirt collar and shook him. "Sorry, isn't good enough!" she screamed. "Now the rain's not going to stop! What if someone was in that room? They'll be waterlogged!" 

"Check!" Whie shouted.

"What?"

"Check and see if anyone was in there."

Scout turned to another screen. This one was set for the security cameras. "Let's hope none was," she said, typing. "Let's hope it's not Yoda!"

The camera for the Room of a Thousand Fountains came on.

Scouts eyes got big anf she slumped into her chair. "Ohmigosh!"

* * *

The water was creeking to Yoda's ankles now. He tried to climb higher on his rock but he had already reached the top. He scanned the area. He could see some trees growing nearby. They were his only hope. 

Willing the Force around him he jumped. And landed just inches from his destination.

SPLASH!

* * *

"Who's in there?" Whie asked, looking over her shoulder at the screen. 

Scout looked at Whie. "Jedi Master Yoda," she said.

Whie's face turned white. "Uh no...," he began.

"WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!" Scout screamed, grabbing her head. "IF WE DON'T HE'S GOING TO DROWN!"

* * *

Yoda's body went under. He quickly swam to the surface and looked around. All the trees were gone! 

_Oh boy, _he thought. _In trouble I am._

"Calm down," Whie said. "Let's just tell someone."

"Good idea," Scout said.

She spotted the furball. it waas trying to leave the room. "You!" she shouted to it.

The thing looked at her. "Me?" it said.

"Tell Master Windu go to the Room of a Thousand Fountains and get Master Yoda out."

"Umm, okay," the thing said rushing out of the room.

* * *

Yoda knew he was running out of time. Out of desperation he resorted back to the best way to get someone's attention. 

He took and deep breath... and started screaming.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

Mace Windu and Adi Gallia were walking down the hall just outside of the Room of a Thousand Fountains when they heard the sound of Master yoda's screaming. 

"What's he doing in there?" Adi asked.

Mace shrugged. 'I don't know," he said. 'But I have a feeling he's been eating chocolate again. You know how he gets when he snacks on those Hershey bars..."

"Maybe we should check anyway," The Corellian suggested.

Mace shrugged again. "All right," he said heading over to the door.

* * *

The water was almost to the roof now. Yoda knew he was out of time. He'd just have to try to open the doors. 

He dived under, wipping out his lightsaber. He knew that the computers were set that if a fire or something broke out in a room the doors would lock to contain it. He had to cut his way out.

He saw the door ahead and almost swam into it. Quickly he shoved his blade into it.

Mace had almost reached the door when he saw a green lightsaber poke through the door.

"What's he doing?" Adi asked, eyeing the lightsaber.

"I donm't know," Mace said. "I wonder if he's having hallucinations."

"Better open that door."

* * *

Yoda had almost cut through when he heard a loud rumbling sound. He looked back into the room. _Uh oh... bad this is..._

He retracted his lightsaber.

* * *

Before Mace even got close enough to open the door it came open. His eyes grew wide as he saw Matser Yoda come flying at him followed by a giant wave!

* * *

Farther down the hall Kit Fisto and Aayla Secura stood near the elevators when they suddenly heard a loud rumbling sound. 

"What is that?" Aayla asked.

"I don't kow," Kit replied.

They both looked in the direction it was coming from.

A huge tidal wave bore down on them.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" the two Jedi screamed, turning and running.

The water chased them down the hall.

They neared the elevator's. Kit put up his hand to open the doors with the Force.

Too late.

The wave crashed down on them and they were added to the flood.

Suddenly all the water began to got downward.

Kit and Aayla screamed as the water came flying out the window. Takeing them with it!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they screamed.

SPLOOOSH!

* * *

Chancellor Palpatine had parked his brand new speeder car near the Jedi Temple as was just about to head into the Temple for a visit when he heard a noise above his head. 

He looked up. "Strange," he said. "That looks like water..."

The stuff got closer.

"IT IS WATER!" he shrieked. "AND IT'S COMING RIGHT AT ME!"

The Chancellor's fast reflexes got him out of the way just in time to avoid getting wet. His new speeder wasn't so lucky. It was _smashed _when five bodies landed on top of it.

"MY SPEEDER!" he screamed running up to it. "MY BEAUTIFUL NEW SPEEDER!"

When he got closer he saw the bodies belonged to Jedi. Five Jedi. Kit Fisto, Aayla Secura, Adi Gallia. The last two surprised him. _Mace Windu _and_ Master Yoda_!

"What are you doing?" he demanded them.

Mace looked up at him. "Ow...," he moaned. He saw Palpatine. "Uh... hello Chancellor..."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Palpatine demanded.

"Huh?" Mace asked.

"Is this some new kind of Jedi game for getting more atuned with the Force?" Palpatine demanded. "Creating water falls and falling on speeders?"

"It wasn't our fault," Adi said getting up.

"Yes!" Yoda replied. "Flooded the Room of a Thousand Fountains someone has!"

"Flooded?" Palpatine asked.

Mace nodded.

The Chancellor shook his head. "Why do I get the feeling you're all about to tell me what happened..."

And that's exactly what they did.

_A/N_

_YAY! I finally got an idea! Dances I hope you like it. I hope it was funny. If you liked it please let me know okay? just in case you might not know the fur ball was Darth Fozzy._


	15. When Younglings Attack

CHAPTER 15

WHEN YOUNGLINGS ATTACK

_A/N: This is happening the next day after the incident with the Room Of A Thoustand Fountains_

Anakin Skywalker walked out of the infirmery. He'd spent at least two hours there getting his burned butt taken care of. Needless to say, the Jedi Healers weren't very happy at having to treat that. Infact; they had been so unwanting to treat it that they just stuffed the Jedi into the bacta tank and kept him there for an hour.

"The least they could have done was let me dunk myself instead of trying to drown me," he growled now.

Suddenly he heard a weird. "Quack. Quack" sound. He looked down at his feet. A little toy yellow ducky walked by him. "What the?" he said.

At the same instant a little Yougling holding an ice cream cone came around the corner. "Hello Mather Skywalker," the kid said stopping right next to him. "I see you found my ducky."

Anakin raised an eyebrow. "Your ducky?" he said.

The kid nodded. Some of the ice cream, dripped off the cone and fell on Anakin's boot. "Oops," the little kid said looking up at Anakin with huge innoscent eyes.

Anakin, who already had been having a bad day, blow up. "WHY YOU LITTLE _BRAT_!" he screamed. "HOW _DARE_ YOU DROP YOUR JUNK ON MY BRAND NEW BOOTS!"

The child's huge eyes got all watery. "GAH!" Anakin gasped. "No... don't do-"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the little Youngling began to cry huge watery tears.

"No," Anakin cried flailing his arms. "Don't cry. I didn't mean it! Shhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Barris Offee popped her head out of the infirmary. "What did you do _now_?" she demanded.

"Nothing!" Anakin protested. "The kid dropped his ice cream on my boot and-"

"THIS MEAN OLD MAN YELLED AT ME!" the Youngling wailed pointing at Anakin.

Bariss stepped out of the room. "Anakin," she scolded. "Is that any way to be an example?"

"Huh? What?"

"After all you're labled 'The Hero With No Fear'," she went on picking up the Youngling. "If you act that way _none _of the children will ever make you a role model."

"I'm sorry," he said again.

"Don't tell me," she said. She held out the kid. "Tell him."

A huge sweat drop appeared on Anakin's forehead. "I'm sorry," he told the kid.

The Youngling stopped crying. "Really?" he asked.

"Really."

The kid jumped out of Bariss' arms. "THANK YOU!" he bellowed glomping Anakin's neck. "How about we both get some ice cream?"  
"Uh..." Anakin stammered. "o...kay..."

* * *

Yoda decided to try to hurd the Younglings. It was time for their class again but he wasn't too happy about having to bring them in himself. Since the little incident with the child lightsabers and the Youngling rampage none of the older Jedi wanted to bring them in. Not even the ones who were their Masters. They all thought it was _Yoda's _fault the children had gone crazy. They all thought _he _should round them up.

_Looking forward to this I am not, _he thought as he hoddled down the hall.

One of the Younglings had stolen his gimer stick which ment he'd have to pratically hug the walls of the Temple to make his way around till he got a new one. (He'd also lost his little hovercraft).

The probelm was; he had no idea were any of them were! "A bad feeling I have," he said to himself. "Getting into trouble they might be..."

**KABOOM!**

The whole Temple was rocked by an explosion. INSIDE THE BUILDING!

As Yoda regained his balance he heard someone shout. "ZACHEY! WHAT DID YOU DO!"

_Uh oh. _There was only one person in the Temple named Zachey. One of the more troublesome Younglings in Yoda's class.

Instantly he was running. It didn't take him long to find the Youngling responcible. Zachey was playing around with a clone blaster. _HOW DID THAT END UP IN HERE? _

"WHO LEFT THEIR BLASTER IN THE TEMPLE!" he demanded the air. "WHEN FIND OUT WHO IT IS, I DO, I'LL-AHHH!" he had to duck to avoid a blast.

Crawling on the floor he made his way to the Youngling with the blaster. When he reached Zachey he grabbed the blaster. "To me give that now!" he yelled.

Zachey stared at him a moment and came to one conclusion. Yoda was trying to steal his toy. "NO!" he wailed. "MINE! MINE! MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"_Yours_ it is _not_!" Yoda shouted. "Drop it!"

The two wound up playing a little tug-of-war. Zachey pulled on the back area and Yoda the front.

"GET IT TO ME!" the Jedi shouted jerking it toward him.

"MINE!" the Youngling would scream back pulling it way.

"GIVE! GIVE! GIVE!"

"MINE! MINE! MINE!"

"GIVE!"

"MINE!"

"GIVE!"

"MINE!"

Somehow the Youngling was smart enough to use the Force. With a Force shove he made the Jedi Master let the blaster go and sent him slamming into the wall.

**POW! POW! POW!**

The blaster went off. It's target: Master Yoda.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" the Jedi screamed dodging lazer fire.

Zachey smiled. "Mine." he said.

Yoda was so busy dodging he forgot who was playing with the blaster. He pulled out his lightsaber and came at the kid. "YEAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed flying at the kid.

Zachey saw him come running. He instantly dropped the blaster and stared at Yoda a moment before he opened his mouth and let out a loud. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
Yoda dropped his lightsaber and covered his ears. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" he screamed.

Then both Jedi Master and Youngling ran out of the room leaving the blaster on the floor.

* * *

Obi-Wan wasn't having a good time either. Somehow a little Twi'lek Youngling named F'lar was able to pin him to the ground and ask with her huge eyes pleeding. "Master Kenobi. Can you have a tea party with me?"

"A WHAT!" he exclaimed.

"A tea party," she said again.

"Why?" he asked. "And shouldn't you be in class?"

The little Twi'lek shook her head. "No," she replied. "there are no classes today."

"Why?"

"I dunno," she said putting a finger in her mouth. "There just isn't. Pease have a tea party with me. Pease!" (I meant to spelling it like that)

"Um...Okay," he said.

F'lar began jumping up and down on his stomach. "YEAH! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!"

So Obi-Wan wound up sitting at a little pink table surounded by little stuffed animels with F'lar and two other girl Younglings.

"Oh, Miss Obi-Wan," a human Youngling said looking at Obi-Wan who was wearing a blond wig. "You look so beautiful!"

Obi-wan didn't say anything. He just sat there feeling real dumb. _I'm going to kill someone! _he thought.

"Have some tea," a Togruta said handing him a tiny tea cup.

"Uhh.. thank you," he said taking the cut and sipping it. Whatever was in there tasted horrible. "GAH! GAG!" he couched. Then he saw the little girls staring at him with sad little eyes. "I mean... yumm?"

F'lar spoke first. "You don't like your tea?" she asked.

"Uh..."

She looked at the others. "HE DOESN'T LIKE OUR TEA!" she screamed.

That didn't sit too well with the other girls. Instead of crying they got mad. "YOU _HATE_ OUR TEA!" they demanded cornering him.

He put up his hands. "Now girls.." he began.

They weren't listening. They pulled out little girly things. "YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!" they screamed jumping at him.

"AHHHHH!" he screamed as he was covered in Younglings. Someone smacked his face with a pink powder puff. "GACK!"

"We''ll give him a make over!" F'lar shouted.

"YEAH!" the other two agreed.

"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

* * *

"Hey get down from there!" Mace Windu yelled at two Nautolan Younglings who were climbing uo one of the garden trees.

They looked down at him. "Target!" one shouted grinning like Kit Fisto. "GET HIM!"

Suddenly Mace was being pelted by water balloons.

"AAAAAAAAAHHH!" he screamed dodging the balloon bombs.

He didn't get very far.

**SHUMP!  
**Down he went.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAA!" the two Nautolan's laughed climbing out of the tree and running up to the hole they'd made. "We caught a Korun Tiger!"

"Get me out of here!" Mace yelled up at them.

The two just laughed even more.

"Mute! Zardic!" a voice shouted. "What are you doing!"

The two turned around. "Nothing, Master Fisto," they said then ran off.

"KIT!" Mace screamed from the hole.

Kit Fisto walked up to the hole and peeked down into it. "Mace," he said grinning. "What are you doing down there?"

"Playing with Younglings," he muttered. "Now get me out of here!"

Kit shook his head. "You can get out yourself you know," he said. "The Force Jump comes in handy with those kinds of things you know."

"Oh," Mace said feeling stupid.

He jumped out of the hole.

"What are all these Younglings doing running around like this?" Kit asked as he watched two Mon Calimarie Younglings running by.

"I don't know," Mace sid. "But I think Master Yoda might have something to do with it."

Kit fixed his unblinking eyes on the other Jedi. "Why do you say that?"

"Because he's their teacher."

"Hmm."

Mace started for the Temple. "I think we'd better look for him," he said. "C'mon."

_A/N_

_Just being random now. I hope this was funny. I made it up as I went along. If you liked; it let me know. Your comments are what keeps me going. :D_


	16. CHAOS

CHAPTER 16

CHAOS

On their way to Master Yoda's apartment Jedi Masters Mace Windu and Kit Fisto heard a real loud scream and saw Master Obi-Wan Kenobi run past them wearing a long blond wig and his face covered in such a sloppy array of multi-colored make up he looked like a clown. He was being chased by Jedi Younglings Twi'lek F'lar, the human Youngling Jade, and the Togruta Youngling Lase. F'lar held a brush, Jade held a powder puff, and Lase held a blow drier.

"Come back Miss Kenobi!" they called. "We haven't finished your make over yet!"

"GET AWAY! GET AWAY! GET AWAY!" he screamed as he ran down the hall.

"What in the name of-" Mace began then noticed Kit Fisto grinning. "What?" the Korun asked raising an eyebrow.

"I've been wondering what Obi-Wan does in his spare time," the Nautolan said his grin even bigger.

"Stop that!" Mace ordered. "You're no better than the Younglings!"

"What do you mean by that?" Kit demanded no longer grinning.

Mace shook his head. "Nevermind. Let's just find Yoda."

* * *

"I'm telling you he knows who flooded the place!" Scout insisted as she and Whie walked down the hall. "Why else would he be ignoring us?"

"Scout," Whie said. "If he knew it was us he would have given us a lecture by now."

"But what if he knows but isn't saying anything because he wants our guilt to drive us crazy!" she asked big gushy anime tears running down her cheeks. "What if it's some new kind of punishment?"

"Master Yoda wouldn't do something like that," Whie said. "He's not crazy you know!"

At that instant Jedi Master Yoda ran by them screaming at the top of his lungs. "HELP! TRYING TO KILL ME THE _YOUNGLINGS_ ARE!"

Sweat drops appeared on the two Padawan's foreheads.

Scout crossed her arms and glared at Whie. "You were saying?" she asked.

* * *

Nautolan Jedi Younglings Mute and Zardic weren't done with their pranks yet. They scouted the garden looking for new victims whom they found in the rose garden.

Jedi Masters Plo Koon and Depa Billada.

Depa was cutting off some roses with a rose hedge trimmer and Plo Koon was fiddling with his face mask.

"This feels wrong," he said trying to adjust it.

"Why do you say that?" Depa asked as she clipped.

"It feels too tight," he said. "This morning when I woke up I felt I was drowning."

Depa sighed and stood. "You've been wearing this thing for how long now?"

"A few years."

"And it's still giving you trouble?"

"Yes."

She turned around and began adjusting it for him. "I can't keep doing this for you," she said as she straightened it out. "One day I won't be here to help you with it. What are you going to do then?"

"Suffocate."

"Very funny."

She fooled around with it a little longer then dropped her hands and stared as his satisfied. "There," she said. "All fixed."

"Thank you." he said bowing.

Depa smiled. She looked like she was going to say something but was interupted when Mute and Zardi suddenly clamered out of the bushes and ran at them.

"Look out!" Plo Koon shouted pulling the woman out of the way.

"WAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" the Younglings screamed pulling out their little lightsabers and activating them. They began fooling around with them.

"Hey!" Plo Koon shouted. "Don't play with those! They're _dangerous_! You could chop your heads off!"

The Younglings ignored him and kept on fighting. The Kel Dor walked toward them. "That's enough!" he shouted. "Give those to me!"

They went running. "Only if you can catch us!" they shouted.

He ran after them. "I'M WARNING YOU! GIVE THOSE BACK BEFORE SOMEONE GETS-WAAH!"

Plo Koons boot fell into the bobby trap on the ground. A noose wrapped around his ankle and pulled him into the air.

Now he was up-side-down.

"Great!" he said folding his arms.

The Nautolans ran off, laughing.

"Master Koon!" Depa exclaimed running up to him. "Are you all right?"

Plo Koon stared at an up-side-down Depa Billada. "Never better," he said sarcasticly.

"Here let me help you down," Depa said pulling out her lightsaber and activating it. "I'll have you down in a jiffy!"

Plo Koon realized what she was doing. "NO!" he shouted. 'DON'T-"  
Too late. The woman's green lightsaber cut through the rope.

**BOOM!**

Plo Koon fell to the ground and landed on his head.

"Oh!" she gasped knealing down beside him. "Are you all right?"

Plo Koon sat up and shook away stars. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" he demanded.

"I was just helping you get down!"

"DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!"

"Hey!" she objected. "It wasn't _my _fault!"

"You're right," he agreed. "It's Master Yoda's!" he started to head back to the Temple.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To find Master Yoda," he replied looking over his shoulder.

* * *

What nobody realized was that a certain little Yougling decided to go into the room where all the cleaning driods were and decided to play an Anakin Skywalker. The little human Youngling unknowingly reprogrammed the driods and sent them on a rampage around the Temple.

* * *

Aayla Secura, who at the time wasn't aware of anything yet, was heading to her room when one of the driods that mopped the floor spotted her and rolled toward her.

The Twi'lek didn't noticed anything weird about that until the driod began shouting. "MESS MESS! TERMINATE!"

It was then joined by a bunch of other driods. They all pulled out their mops and made a bee line for her.

Aayla's eyes grew huge and she went running. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Suddenly she went sliding across the floor as the floor wax driods began waxing the floor for the second time that day. She was unable to stop and slid right into the men's room and ran into the wall.

That same instant Ki-Adi-Mundi came out of a stall and noticed her.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" he shrieked running out of the room just to find himself in the same situation.

* * *

Aayla Secra and Ki-Adi-Mundi weren't the only ones having trouble with cleaning droids.

Shaak Ti was being cornered by the laundry driods. They wanted to wash her clothes, with her still wearing them!

She stood with her back against the wall and her ligthsaber activated as she faced the rabid cleaning driods.

"Dirty laundry must clean!" they all chanted getting closer and closer to her.

"Stay back!" she shouted at them. "I mean it!"

One driod got too close and began pulling on her cloak.

She screamed and swung her weapon. The blue blade split the driod down the middle.

This angered the other driods.

They all came at her at once.

"This doesn't look good!" she said a sweat drop appearing on her forehead.

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Kit Fisto and Mace Windu stopped in their tracks. "What was that?" Msce asked.

"It sounded a lot like Shaak Ti," Kit replied turning left. "It came from this way! Let's go!"

They ran down the hall a bit then stopped when a bunch of laundry driods came out of Shaak Ti's room and rolled down the hall.

"What the-?" Kit Fistio asked but was interrrupted when a white thing came out of the room as well and came at them.

"A GHOST!" Mace screamed.

The 'ghost' ran into them.

Kit caught it. "Aren't ghosts suppost to go through people?" he said.

"I'm _not_ a ghost," the white thing said.

"Then what are you?" Mace asked.

The white thing pulled back the cloth from it's head. "It's me." it said.

"Shaak!" The Nautolan exclaimed surprised. "Why are you wearing that thing?"

"Those driods stole my clothes," she replied pointing down the hall.

"They did?" Mace asked. He eyed the white thing for a moment. "Are you wearing a bed sheet?"

_A/N_

_Hope that was funny. I'm trying my best to get some ideas but they are rapidly running out. Just like before I'm being random. If any of you readers have some ideas let me know okay? I could really use some. Thanks in advance! If you liked this chapter please let me know. :D_


	17. Darth Yoda?

Chapter 17

Darth Yoda?

Yoda had finally gotten away from the Younglings that had been after him. He rested against a wall and panted for a minute. "Worn out I am," he said. "Run fast the Younglings can!"

Something brown and fuzzy rounded the corner. Yoda looked at it. Darth Fozzy.

"You!" the old Jedi Master exclaimed glaring at the bear.

Darth Fozzy looked around then pointed at himself. "Me?" he asked.

"Yes, you!"

"What?"

Yoda stalked over to him. "Your fault this is!" he yelled. "Fine the Tenple was, before entered the picture you did!"

"What?" Fozzy asked. "Why are you blaming _me_?"

Yoda's lightsaber burst to life. "The dark side I sense in you!" he yelled before diving at the bear.

Darth Fozzy's eyes got real big as the little Jedi came at him. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed dodging.

The lightsaber got stuck in the floor. "Stupid pieces of junk!" Yoda growled trying to pull it out.

Darth Fozzy saw his chance. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed turned and running down the hall.

Yoda freed his lightsaber. "GET BACK HERE!" he shouted chasing after the bear.

* * *

Plo Koon wound up joining Kit Fisto and Mace Windu in their search. Shaak Ti had joined them as well but was still wearing the bed sheet because the laundry droids has stolen _all _of her cloths.

"He isn't in his room," Mace Windu said coming out of the Jedi Master's apartment.

"Well the where is he?" Plo Koon asked.

"I guess we'll just have to keep looking," Kit Fisto said.

"I guess so," Shaak agreed.

* * *

"GET BACK HERE!" Yoda shouted chasing after Darth Fozzy.

"NOOOOOO!" the bear screamed running as fast as his legs were able to. "I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU CUT OFF _MY_ HEAD!"

The bear ran into a room. Yoda chased after him and closed the door. A sign that said **Matinence **hung from a nail above the window.

Yoda chased the bear around the room. Since it was so small they wound up going in circles. Finally Darth Fozzy decided to try climbing away. He jumped up on a shelf and started climbing. The problem was; so did Yoda.

He landed on the shelf in front of him blocking the bears escape. "Hahahaha! Got you now I have!" he cheered.

Darth Fozzy whimpered as Yoda came toward him. "Can't we talk this out?" he asked.

"Time for talk has past," Yoda told him. "Time to die is now!"

Suddenly the shelf began to creak.

"What the?" Yoda exclaimed looking down at it.

The bear heard the sound of wood snapping. "Uh oh," he said.

**CRACK!**

The shelf broke. Darth Fozzy jumped clear. Yoda on the other hand wasn't expecting that. He fell with the shelf and landed in an open barel of black paint.

* * *

"He isn't in the Council Chamber either," Kit Fisto said walking out of the room. "What about the Room of a Thousand Fountains?"

"No," Mace said shaking his head. "The Padawans are still cleaning up the mess the flood made in there. I still don't understand how that could have happened..."

"What about the room where they build the lightsabers?" Shaak Ti suggested.

"He might be there," Mace conceeded. "Let's look."

They headed to the room.

When they arrived there all they found was Adi Gallia, Agen Kolar, Ki-Adi-Mundi (who looked like he'd been having a rough day), Aayla Secura (same for her), and Bariss Offee. No Master Yoda.

"Have any of you seen Master Yoda?" Plo Koon asked of them.

"No," Ki-Adi-Mundi replied rubbing at a huge lump on his head. "And I don't really want to right now!"

"If he's not in here," Kit Fisto said. "Where is he?"

Aayla shrugged. She stared down at her bandaged left head tail. "Don't know don't care."

"WELL HE HAS TO BE SOMEWHERE!" Mace roared. "HE CAN'T HAVE JUST-"

The door opened again. Something came into the room. Something that was all black.

"What?" Bariss asked gaping at it. "What is that?"

"A Sith?" Mace asked. He sounded like he _wanted _it to be a Sith.

"Don't be ridiculous," Kit Fisto chided him. "How could a Sith _possibly_ get into the Temple without being seen?"

The thing looked up at them just then. "What are _you_ looking at?' it demanded in a familer voice.

"Yoda!" Adi gasped. "It's _Yoda_!"

"_Black_ Yoda?" Agen asked.

Plo Koon made a conclusion. "MASTER YODA HAS GONE TO THE _DARK SIDE_!" he screamed.

That didn't sit too well with the others. They stared a moment then all shrieked. "HE _HAS_!"

They all began running in confused circles. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they all screamed.

Ki-Adi-Mundi, Plo Koon, and Agen Kolar ran around in circles and ran into each other. They fell onto the floor.

Bariss tried to make a break for it. "I HAVE TO LET MY MASTER KNOW!" she said. She didn't get very far.

She ran into Adi Gallia who was also freaking out. The dark skinned Jedi woman was bashed against the wall. A wall that held a huge armory of lightsabers.

**CRASH!**

The lgihtsabers fell to the floor. This caused a chain reaction. More Jedi ran into each other and were knocked against the walls. Within minutes the floor was littered in lightsabers. This caused some tripping and sliding. A few Jedi wound up sliding on the lightsabers and careening across the room where they ran into more lightsaber covered walls. It didn't take long for the floor to be covered in the slippery circular lightsaber handles.

Master Yoda had also freaked and had run out of the room.

Mace decided to go after him. He slip slided arosss the room and made it to the door. He opened ot up and was just about to chase the Jedi Master down when Obi-Wan Kenobi, his face covered in make up, slammed into him. "What's going on?" Anakin's Master asked.

Mace Windu got one look at Obi-Wan face and screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" then he fainted.

_A/N_

_Thanks for the help guys. I got help from two people on this one. Grievous Daydreamer (I think that's her name)and my sister Oribella (her real names' Kim but that's her pen name). Thanks a lot guys. I appreciate the help. I hope this chapter was funny. I hope you all liked it. If you did please tell me. I would really appreciate it. :D Thanks in advance._


	18. Younglings Take Over

CHAPTER 18

Younglings Take Over

With a little persuation and a lot of unwanted fights Master Yoda was finally able to convince all the Jedi in the Temple that he hadn't turned to the dark side. This proved true when he went into his apartment black and came back out his usual forest green. The Jedi Masters were relieved and apoligized. Even Mace Windu who was still shaken up by the fact that he'd come face to face with his greatest fear. Clowns. (The newly made over Obi-Wan Kenobi)

"We're sorry, Master," Agen Kolar apoligized as he, Yoda, and the rest of the Masters, and Jedi Knights (who were at the Temple at the time) walked down the hall back to the lightsaber making room. "We didn't know. Plo Koon is the one who said you had turned to the dark side."

"Well sorry," Plo Koon said his face all red. "What was I _suppost_ to think? That Master Yoda had fallen into a huge open can of paint? It's not _my_ faultthe Younglings make all the droids go crazy."

"The Younglings fault it was not," Yoda spoke up.

"It wasn't?" Shaak Ti asked, who still had the bed sheet wrapped around her. (The droids still had all her clothes). "Then whose fault was it?"

"Ewok," Yoda spoke up.

"Ewok?" Kit Fisto asked. "What Ewok?"

"The Ewok we pulled out of my heater vent!" Mace concluded.

"Right," Yoda confirmed.

"Why would an Ewok reprogram our cleaning droids?" Aayla Secura asked.

"The dark side I sensed in him," Yoda replied. "A Sith apprentise he might be."

"Where is he now?" Ki-Adi-Mundi asked.

Yoda shook his head. "Know I do not."

"He's probably making more trouble somewhere," Mace said.

"Could be," Barris Offee agreed, who hadn't found her Master.

"What if he-" Adi Gallia started to say when suddenly Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker ran toward them.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they both screamed.

"What's going on?" Plo Koon asked as they came toward the other Jedi.

Obi-Wan and Anakin didn't have time to reply because that the moment five Jedi Younglings came around the corner riding vacuum droids. All the Younglings held their activated lightsabers and were laughing evilly.

"What in the name of," Agen began.

"MASTERS!" the leader, the Twi'lek Youngling called F'lar shouted to her possee. "GET THEM!"

The droids came at the Masters. For a second they all stood frozen in place but then the five were joined by more. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the Jedi screamed turning and running the other way.

They hadn't gotten far when more Younglings came at them from the opposite direction. These Younglings didn't hold lightsabers or ride vacuum droids. They held blasters!

"Hey!" Yoda shouted at them. "Play with guns you should not!"

"GET THEM!" the Younglings shouted. "FIRE!"

The Younglings fired. Instead of blaster bolts coming out of the guns _ice cream _shot out instead.

The ice cream splattered all over the Jedi's clothing and faces. "GAH!" Plo Koon wailed. "It got under my MASK! GASP! I CAN'T BREATHE!"

"It's in my clothes!" Adi Gallia shouted.

"It's all over my head!" Mace whined trying to wipe the cold sticky dessert off his bald head.

"Hey," Kit Fisto said grinning as he stared at Mace. "That's a good look for you. You should wear your hair that way more often."

"That's _not_ funny!" Mace shouted as more ice cream splattered on everyone.

"We have to get out of here!" Aayla Secura shouted as ice cream rained down on her and and the girl Jedi around her.

"How?" Shaak Ti asked, still trying to hold up her sheet.

The Twi'lek ignited her lightsaber. "Like this!" she said cutting a hole in the wall.

"_WHAT _DO YOU THINK YOU'RE _DOING?" _Ki-Adi-Mundi demanded when he saw what she was doing.

"Getting us out of here," she replied.

The hole was finished. Aayla kicked the wall open and stepped inside. The other Jedi quickly followed.

The Younglings did as well. They chased the Jedi around the room for a few minutes.

Agen noticed a door on the far wall. "This way!" he shouted pointing at it.

The Jedi followed him to it. He opened the door and they all ran inside.

Just as the last Jedi stepped inside and the door closed they all heard a _click._

What was that?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Hmm," Yoda mused totally calm. "Locked us in a closed it seems the Younglings have."

"A closet?" Adi exclaimed. "Oh no!"

"What?" Kit Fisto asked.

"I'm claustraphobic!" the woman shouted. "That and this whole thing is full of bodies!"

"Bodys?" Anakin asked. "Where?"

Shaak Ti's rear end ran into something behind her. It felt real weird. "GRIEVOUS!" she shouted.

"Grievous?" the voice behind her shouted in panic. "Where?"

Shaak Ti knew that voice. "Saesee Tinn?" she asked. "How did you get in here?"

"The Younglings," Depa Billada's voice said from somewhere in the back. "They chased us in here."

"And I used to think Younglings were cute and innocent," said the whiny like voice of Cin Drallig.

"Me too," another voice said. "I was just in the library organizing the books when three Younglings came after me on the wheeled ladders.

"Well Jocasta Nu," one last voice said. "That's what you get for letting them climb it without supervision."

"Master Luminara Unduli," Barriss said surprised to hear her Master's voice. "So that's where you have been hiding..."

* * *

Darth Fozzy saw what had happened. Now the only people roaming the hall of the Temple were Younglings and younger Padawans. All the Masters, Knights, and older Padawans had been locked up in closets.

_If Younglings are the only ones in the Temple now it would be a perfect time for my Master to attack, _he figured.

Darth Fozzy ran outside to send the message.

* * *

The bad thing was, the message came right in the middle of a business meeting.

_"Master," _Darth Fozzy said, his image appearing on the computer screen. "_I have some interesting news for you."_

Mas Amedda stared at the image for a moment. "Master?" he said looking at Palpatine.

Palpatine shoved the lap top computer shut. "You didn't see anything," he said quickly using the Force on his lacky.

"I didn't see anything," Mas said back.

"Umm would you please leave now," the Chamcellor said. "I have to take this."

Mas got up and left.

Palpatine sighed in relief and opened the computer and glared at the stupid bear. "This had better be good," he said.

_"I was just coming to inform you that the Younglings have taken over the Temple_," Darth Fozzy replied.

Palpatine's eyebrows shot up. "What?"

_"The Younglings have locked all the Jedi in closets and took over the Temple," _the bear said again.

"And?"

_"I just wanted to inform you about it," _Darth Fozzy replied. _"I thought you might be interested. You could attack the Temple now and take over. Younglings can't stop you."_

"Hmm," Palpatine mused. "I'll think it over..."

* * *

Dooku was dozing in his seat on his starship when his comunicator beeped on. "TYRANUSE!" a loud voice boomed.

Instantly Dooku was awake. He fell out of his chair and slammed onto the floor. "Yes, Master," he said as he slowly pulled himself back up.

"Abort what ever foolery you are doing and get back to Coruscant pronto," Sidous said.

"Why?" Dooku asked. "I thought you wanted lobster..."

"There's no time for lobster now!" Sidous shouted. "Just get your sorry butt back here now!"

The communication ended.

Dooku stuck his tongue out at the blank scene. "Get your butt back here now," he mocked in a whiny voice as he stood up. "I'd better go find Asajj and Grievous."

He stepped out of his ship.

* * *

Grievous wasn't having much fun. He'd been tackled by a bunch of fan girls and now he was being drug around Boston on a tour. He could have easily gotten away but the fangirls had tied him up and stolen his lightsabers. The other problem was; he was on a leash and the girl holding it was staring up at him with heart eyes.

_I wonder how much it would cost to get them all stuffed, _he thought.

He felt something on his leg and looked down. He started shaking it. "HEY YOU!" he shouted at the girl who was holding onto it. "THAT'S NOT A TOY! LET GO RIGHT NOW!"

"GRIEVOUS!"

A sweatdrop appeared on the cyborg's forehead. "Uh oh." he looked up. Dooku.

"Umm hello," he said.

"Sidious has just called," Dooku said. "We have to get back to Coruscant right away. Where's Ventress?"

"Shoe shopping," Grievous replied.

"Thank you," Dooku said starting to walk away.

"HEY WHAT ABOUT ME!" Grievous shouted after him.

* * *

Sidious wound up going to the Temple alone. As he stepped inside he found himself in the center of a huge mess. "What a mess," he said. "When I take over I'll teach these brats some respect!"  
"GROWN UP!" a voice called above him.

The Sith Lord looked up. He saw two Younglings standing on top of a fallen pillar. "Grown up!" they shouted again.

"It's the Chancellor," the human Youngling Jade said.

"The Chancellor?" Twi'lek F'lar asked.

"Umm hello," Sidious said waving at them. "Where are the Jedi?"

"They're away," Nautolan Mute replied.

"Where?"

"Somewhere."

"Good," Sidious said. "Now then..." Suddenly lightning shot from his hands and hit the pillar the two Youngling guards were on. Screaming they jumped off.

"Hey!" F'lar gasped. "How did you do that?"

Sidious turned to her. "Like this," he said shooting at her.

The lightning hit her and she flew across the room and into the wall. "F'lar!" Lase shouted running up to her. "Are you all right?"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" F'lar wailed, her mouth getting real big and gushy tears coming from her eyes. "THE CHANCELLOR'S A MEANIE!"

Now the Younglings all turned on Sidious. "Meanie. Meanie. Meanie," they chanted closing in.

Sidious began backing away. "Now kids," he said nervously.

All their lightsabers came on. "Uh oh," the Sith said.

"GET THE MEANIE!" Jade screamed as a war cry.

"RARARARARAA!" The children chased him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed running inside the Temple.

* * *

"Okay," Mace said. "how are we going to get out of this?"

"I dunno," Anakin said. "We can't use the Force on it." (Refering to the door)

"Why not?"

"Force Shielding."

"Eh?"

"All rooms in the Temple are protected by Force Shielding."

"What about our lightsabers?" Cin asked.

"Don't be stupid," Adi cut in. "There are too many people in here to do that. If you tried, you might end up cutting someone's arm or leg off."

"Then what can we do?" Plo Koon asked.

Obi-Wan was the one who came up with the bright idea. "We'll ram it!" he said.

"How?" Aayla asked. "Hey get off my foot!"

"Sorry," Agen apoligized.

"We'll all run at the door at the same time," Obi-Wan said. "Anakin, stop touching my rear!"

"I'm not!" Anakin shouted.

"Then who is?"

"I am!" another voice said.

"Who are you?"

"Depa!"

"Depa, how did you get back there?"

"I've been back here."

"Okay, back to the plan," Mace cut in. "Okay everyone let's ram that door!"

All seventeen Jedi got ready to ram. "Okay on the count of three let's do it!" Obi-Wan instructed. "One two..."

"SOMEONE'S _STEPPING_ ON ME!" Yoda wailed.

"Saesee stop stepping on Yoda!" Obi-Wan yelled.

"I'm not!" Saesee protested.

"Who is then?"

"Sorry," Kit Fisto apoligized. "I didn't see him. I thought he was a box."

"BOX?" Yoda screamed. "A box I look like now? No box am I!"

"Sorry," Kit said again. "Why don't you go to the front?"  
"If in the front I go be trampled I will," Yoda pointed out.

"Then get in the back," Mace instructed.

"Bad idea that is too."

"Why?"

"I don't know. It just is."

"YODA!"

"What? _Want_ me to be crushed do you?"

"All right," Obi-Wan cut in. "Let's just do this. Yoda stay where you are!"

"Okay."

"ONE TWO THREE!"

The Jedi ran at the door.

**THWUMP!**

OEW!" Barriss wailed as her head slammed into the door which didn't open. "It didn't work!"

"Whose idea was this?" Plo Koon demanded.

"Obi-Wan's!" Shaak Ti replied who had smashed into Kit Fisto's head tenticales and gotten tangled. "HELP ME!"

"I'm sorry," Kit Fisto said feeling the strain of her attempts to get free. "I-OW!- they sometimes have a mind of their own. YEOW! STOP MOVING, SHAAK TI! YOU'RE JUST MAKING IT WORSE!"

"What are we going to do now Mr. Genious?" Mace Windu demanded looking in the direction he thought Obi-Wan was in..

"Umm," Obi-Wan thought fast. "Wing it?"

A huge crashing sound came from inside. (Namely all the Jedi beat Obi-Wan up)

_A/N_

_Hope that was funny._

_This chapter sure is long! Somebody I think her/his name was I Luv P5 gave me this idea. I can't do all she/he wanted me to do now. Sorry. Whatever I didn't do here will just have to go to the next chapter. I hope you liked what I wrote. Let me know if you did. Reviews keep me going. :D_


	19. More Bad Luck

CHAPTER 19

MORE BAD LUCK

Palpatine ran through the halls of the Jedi Temple trying to escape the Younglings who were still chanting. "Meanie! Meanie! Meanie!" as they chased him.

_How am I going to be able to get away from them? _he thought. _Where can I hide?_

He saw a sign ahead that read: **Cafateria**. He got an idea. _I'll hide in there!_

He ran inside the cafateria and closed the door and locked it. "There," he said wiping his hands. "That should hold them."

Little lightsabers began cutting through the door. "Or maybe not," he said sweatdropping. He looked around. "I have to hide!"

He spotted the kitchen behind the serving line. He quickly ran to it and did a ballet move over the side.

**WUMP! CRASH!**

His body hit the floor in an undignified heap. "Ow!" he moaned getting up. "That's what I get for skipping my ballet lessons all those years!'

"Chancellor!"

_Oh no! They found me already!_

The Sith Lord peeked over the serving line. He saw a bunch of little Younglings searching the huge dining hall. Quickly he ducked back under it. "What am I going to do?" he asked himself desperately. "I gotta get out of here! But how? The Younglings blocked all the exits!"

He peeked over the top again. The Younglings were getting closer to his hiding spot. He looked toward the exits. They were indeed being guarded.

Suddenly a voice shouted. "There he is!"

* * *

"There has got to be a way out of this closet," Kit Fisto said.

"There is no way," said bad news Mace Windu. "We tried to ram the door open. It didn't work."

"Maybe we should use a lightsaber after all," Adi Gallia considered.

"Are you mad!" Plo Koon demanded his voice full of horror. "It's too cramped in here. You might hurt someone."

"Fine. What do _you_ suggest Master Koon?"

"How about we yell until someone finds us?" Plo Koon was never very creative.

"That won't work. If anything we'll just use up all the air..." Adi sniffed the air. "All right! Who farted?"

"It wasn't me!" Obi-Wan said. "But it's coming from near the left wall."

"Give me a sec!" Aayla Secura said fumbling in her pants pocket.

A flashlight came on. The beam fell on a guilty looking Anakin Skywalker.

"ANAKIN!" Obi-Wan yelled.

Anakin's face turned red. "What?" he asked.

His Master put a hand over his nose. "Yuck! What did you eat today? Beans?"

"Ummm..." Anakin stammered. "A burito?"

"ANAKIN! YOU IDOIT! YOU KNOW TACO BELL FOOD GIVES YOU GAS! WHY IN THE FORCE WOULD YOU EAT SOMETHING FROM THERE?"

"I like buritos!" the Jedi Padawan defended himself.

"But they sure don't like you!" Seasee said covering his nose with his cloak.

"Well so-ory," Anakin said offended. "How was I suppost to know we were going to get stuck in here? I'm not _phsycic_ you know!"

* * *

Palpatine froze. Slowly he turned around. He saw that Youngling F'lar standing behind him brandishing her tiny lightsaber. "I found you, Meanie!" she cried. "Now you shall feel the wrath of F'lar Mintoco!" The without warning she jumped down at him her lightsaber raised above her head. "Say your prayers, Meanie!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the Sith Lord screamed running out of the way and dashing in the back toward the freezers.

"Get back here!" F'lar sreamed chasing after him. She was soon joined by other Younglings that also followed him into the back.

Palpatine ran up to one of the freezers and yanked it open. He grabbed at random and faced the Younglings holding the piece of frozen food high. "Back!" he yelled at them. "Back I tell you! Back or I'll let you have it!"

Nautolan Mute saw what is was and his eyes suddenly got all sparkly. "ICE CREAM!"

"Ice cream?" the other little kids said. Suddenly they all got the same look. "ICE CREAM!"

Palpatine sweat dropped. He looked at the object he held. A Nutty Buddy cone. "Oops!"

The Youlings ran towsrd him. "ICE CREAM!"

Palpatine panicked and threw the cone. It hit the Twi'lek Youngling F'lar in the head. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" she wailed.

"Big, Meanie!" Mute yelled picking up the ice cream and throwing it back at the Chancellor.

"AHHH!" he yelped ducking.

The cone hit some objects in the freezer and sent them tumbling out. Thinking fast Palpatine picked up everything and chucked it at the kids. His plan would have worked if the children hadn't of gotten hit by them and gotten even madder. They chuckced it back!

Soon it was a war! A huge food fight broke out. Palpatine found himself opening other freezers and pelting the Younglings with various foods from drumsticks to olive loaf and fruit cake.

"_Fruit cake_?" he gasped throwing it. "Who would eat fruit cake!"

Soon the war broke out amugst the Younglings. Instead of them throwing things at him they ended up thowing food at eachother.

_Now to make my escape! _Palpatien thought when he saw they were all distracted. He tried to tiptoe away.

He hadn't gotten far when he slipped on a banana peal someone forgot to clean up from the breakfast meal. "WAH!" he yelled sliding across the floor. He flew across the room and ran into a pile of sacks of flour. "Oh no!" he exclaimed seeing them toppling over.

* * *

"I know!" Agen Kolar exclaimed. "We'll use a credit card to pick the lock!"

"A what!" Mace asked.

"A credit card," the other Jedi said again. "Who here has a credit card?"

The sound of change jingling filled the room.

"I have a five credit slip," Shaak Ti said. "Does that count?"

"Huh?" Barris said confused. "Master Ti. You're only wearing a sheet. How can you have any money?"

"I don't know," she replied. "I just reached down and the next thing I knew I had a five credit bill in my hands."

"Hey!" Kit exclaimed searching his pockets. "Where did my money go!"

Shaak Ti's face turned pink. "Oops..."

Kit gaped at her. "SHAAK TI! HOW _DARE_ YOU PICK MY POCKET!"

"SORRY!"

"Okay people let's get back to the problem at hand," Agen cut in. "Who has a credit card?"

"I have ten credits!" Cin shouted flingings a wad of bills at the Jedi.

It wacked the Jedi Master in the head. "That wasn't what I ment," Agen screamed as a huge pink lump appeared on his forehead..

"Then what did you mean?" Luminara Unduli wanted to know.

"When I said credit card I ment a flat piece of platic." he tried to explain.

"Umm..." Question marks appeared above everyone's heads. "What?"

Agen sweatdropped. "Never mind," he said. "Somehow I have a feeling a credit card is just an Earth thing."

"I have a library card!" Ki-Adi-Mundi exclaimed grinning hugely. "Will that do?"

"Yes," Mace said grabbing the card and stuffing it between the door and the wall.

"Master Windu," Depa spoke up. "I don't think-"

_SNAP!_

"Oops," Mace said staring at half a library card.

"WINDU, YOU _BROKE_ MY LIBRARY CARD!" Ki-Adi-Mundi wailed charging at the Korun and pummling him.

* * *

The flour bags fell on top of Palpatine and covered him from head to toe. He stood up coughing. "I HATE JEDI!" he screamed. "ESPECIALLY JEDI YOUNGLINGS!"

F'lar and Lase noticed him standing up. "GHOST!" they screamed.

That got everyone's attention. They gaped at Palpatine. "What?" he demanded glaring at them all.

"GHOST!" they all screamed. Padamonium broke out. Hundreds of little Younglings stampeded out of the dinning hall. "IT'S THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST!" they all shrieked.

Palpatine sweatdropped. "Oh boy..." he said his eyes little tiny dots. "I'd better find the Jedi..."

* * *

Padme's speeder ground to a halt in front of the Jedi Temple entrance. She hopped out of the air car and straightened her robes. She smiled and stared down at the flyer she held. _This should be fun, _she thought. _I just hope Obi-Wan will be there. _Just the thought of the Jedi make her giggle. _He's sure to be surprised._

Straightening her gown once more and making sure her make-up and hair were still in place she smiled and headed into the Jedi Temple...

_A/N_

_Thanks to I luv P5 for the inspritation once again. You're ideas rock! (I had to alter it a bit though I hope you don't mind)I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'll try to update this fic again as soon as I can. I have a few ideas of my own :grins: but you'll find out what I mean later. One minor note to Grievous Daydreamer: I will be having Grievous in here again soon. Can you wait a little longer?_

_P.S sorry it took so long I was grounded last week. _


	20. Jedi Idol

CHAPTER 20

Jedi Idol

Palpatine took the elevator to the tenth floor of the Temple. When he stepped into the hall he was confronted by Darth Fozzy. "Hey Master, I have a new joke you-Wah! What happened to you?" he pointed at the flour covering Palpatine. "You look like a ghost."

"I am very aware of that," the Chancellor said threw clenched teeth. "Now would you be so kind as to tell me where the rest of the Jedi are."

"Why?"

"None of your business! Just show me where they are!"  
"All right! Don't get so grumpy. They are in there." the bear pointed to a hole in the wall.

"Thank you," Palpatine said sarcasticly. "You've been a big help."

"I try."

* * *

"Looks like we have no other choice," Kit Fisto said. "We have run out of other options." 

"We can't do that!" Obi-Wan protested knowing exacly what Kit was implying.

"Oh _yes_, we _can_," Kit said pulling out his lightsaber. "Everyone stand back! I'll cut this door open and we'll blow this joint!"

"Kit..." Aayla said.

"No more putting it off Aayla this is the only way!"

"Kit..."

Kit make his way to the door and ignited his blade. "Now to get us out of here!" he said. "Time to free us all! HWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! cough cough"

"KIT!"

The Nautolan wasn't listening. He shoved his blade into the door and started cutting.

* * *

Palpatine stepped into the room and spotted the closet. He also saw something glowing sticking out of it. "What the?" 

He walked up to the door and just as he was about to press the "OPEN" button the door swished open and all the Jedi came flying out.

"WAH!" he screamed as they all fell on top of him.

"We're out!" Mace exclaimed from the top of the pile. He stood up on his knees and raised his hands in the air. "WE'RE FREE!"

"OW!" the rest of the Jedi moaned.

"Well that worked... well," Kit Fisto said standing up.

"Kit, don't _ever_ do that again!" Aayla yelled grabbing the Nautolan by the shirt colar and shaking him. "LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

"Sorry," he said feebly.

"Excuse me," said a voice benieth the Jedi.

"What?" Mace exclaimed looking around. "Who's here?"

"It's me, you dolt!" a voice yelled from under then all.

"Who said that?" Anakin asked getting up.

"CHANCELLOR PALPATINE!"

"Oh," Anakin said. "Hi Chancellor... wait! CHANCELLOR? EVERYONE GET UP!"

The Jedi stood up instantly. They looked down,. They all saw an almost flat Chancellor Palpatine lying on the floor glaring up at them.

"Oh Chancellor," Anakin exclaimed. "We're so sorry. The Younglings locked us in the closet. When did you get here?"

"I've been here for the past half hour," Palpatine said standing up with Obi-Wan and Shaak Ti's help and brushing off his robes. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

"What?" Depa asked.

"Ummm.. I forgot."

"Hey wait a minute," Barriss said noticing something. "You're covered in flour. Were you in the dining hall?'

"Yes... The Younglings chased me in there."

"YOUNGLINGS!" Yoda exclaimed remembering something. "A CLASS TO TEACH I HAVE! ROUND UP THE YOUNLINGS I MUST!" he looked at Mace and grabbed his arm. "Help me find them you will!" then he ran like a maniac out of the room dragging a protesting Mace Windu with him.

"What was that about?" Palpatine asked.

The others shrugged.

"Chancellor!" shouted a voice behind the Jedi.

"Huh?"

The Jedi moved away like gates. Padme Amidala stepped in the center of the circle.

"Hi, Padme," Anakin said.

Padme ignored him and looked at Palpatine who became nervous. "Umm is there something you want, Padme?"

"Hey, since when are you and her on a first name basis?" Anakin demanded.

"Since I'm her uncle," Palpatine said stupidly.

All the Jedi stared.

"Uncle Palpatine," Padme began. "I challange you to a singing contest!"

"Singing contest?" Adi Gallia asked cluelessly. "Huh?"

"I challenge you to the singing contest that is being held in the Jedi Temple auditoium!" she said again.

"WHAT SINGING CONTEST?" Seasee demanded. 'There is no contest being held here!"

Padme threw the flyer at him. "Then explain _this_!" she said.

All the Jedi crowded around Saesee. "Oh my," Jocasta Nu exclaimed putting a hand over her mouth. "So there _is_!"

"But.. But," Cin Drallig said. "There was no contest..."

"Well it looks like there is one now," Shaak Ti said.

* * *

"No matter where we go you always have to cause some problems," Dooku said to Asajj and Grievous as they climbed back int the ship. 

"Well it wasn't _my_ fault all those girls attacked me," Grievous said trying to hide under his cape. "How was I suppost to know people on Earth have heard of me."

"I can't _believe_ you have fangirls," Asajj said looking right at him.

"I didn't either."

"Let's just drop it," Dooku said. "Sidious wants us to get to Coruscant as soon as possible."

He turned to the controls. Grievous and Asajj stuck their tongues out at him.

* * *

"Here we are," Padme said walking ino the auditorium. 

"But who's going to be the judge?" Anakin asked.

"Me," said a voice behind them.

Everyone turned to see who it was. A British looking guy came into the room.

"Simon Cowell!" Shaak Ti gasped. "From the Earth show _American Idol_!"

"Yeah," he said. "Someone told me that if I did something here I'd get more money and actually _find _some talent." he looked at everyone. "I hightly doubt it but let's get this over with anyway so I can have some lunch."

"Oh boy!" Padme exclaimed jumping up and down and clapping her hands. "I'll go first!"

She climbed onto the stage and picked up the mike. "_Isn't she lovely this Hollywood girl-" _she screeched into the mike.

"Stop!" Simon exclaimed.

"What?" she asked looking down at him. "I'm not finished yet."

"What was that?" he demanded.

"Umm, Britany Spears?"

"No, not that!" he informed her. "Was were you trying to make with a voice like that?"

"Music?"

"Music?" he scoffed. "A _cow_ makes better music than that."

"Hey!" Anakin yelled. "Don't talk that way about my wi-- best friend."

Simon glared at Anakin. "Do you think you could do any better?" he asked.

"Yes!"

"Then show me."

"Okay."

Anakin climbed ont the stage. He took the mike from Padme and began to sing. "_Yoda got run over by a reindeer-"_

"Okay stop right now!"

"Why?"

"First of all those aren't the words to the song and second of all you stink."

"Stink?" Anakin sniffed his armpits. "I do _not_! I showered this morning."

"Not like that, dumby," Simon retorted. "You're voice stinks."

"It does does it?" Anakin pulled out his lightsaber and turned it on. "Take that back or you'll-WAH!"

Simon used the Force and picked Anakin up and threw him off the stage. Everyone stared at the music critic. "How did you do that?" Kit Fisto asked.

"Music critics all have the Force," Simon replied. "It helps us get no talents off the stage."

Everyone sweat dropped.

"Hey, let me sing please!" Aayla pleaded.

Simon rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

The Twi'lek jumped on the stage. She picked up thr mike. "_How can you see into my eyes like open doors?" _she practically screamed.

"STOP IT! THIS ISN'T **_INXUS!_** I'M NOT HERE TO LISTEN TO YOU PEOPLE SCREAM AT ME!" Simon yelled.

Aayla blushed. "Sorry."

"Next!"

Palpatine jumped on the stage. "I'LL DO IT NEXT!"

"Whatever, old man."

Palpatine glared at the earthling. "Surrendor or I'll nuke your pathetic planet!" he yelled.

Simon sneared. "Is that suppost to be rap?" he asked. "If it was you did a bad imitation."

Palpatine beared his teeth and growled. "Someday you will pay for that!"

"Yeah, _sure_ I will."

Palpatine growled and looked like he was about to chuck the mike at the music critic. But Obi-wan saved Simon's life.

"LET ME SING!" Obi-Wan yelled in Simon's ear.

"FINE!" Simon yelled back. "YOU DON'T HAVE TO SCREAM! I'M NOT DEAF YOU KNOW!"

"Sorry," Obi-Wan said blushing. He jumped on the stage and took the mike from Palpatine. "Don't worry, Chancellor, just ignore him I'm sure you have a great voice."

Palpatine glared at him. "Are you on something, Kenobi?"

"Weed!"

"Wacky Weed," Palpatine said jumping off the stage.

Obi-Wan turned to the Jedi people and opened his mouth to sing. Suddenly someone shouted. "STOP TOUCHING ME!"

Then before anyone knew what was happening a huge fight broke out.

"What is this?" Simon asked cluelessly.

"I dunno," Anakin said. "But I want in on it!" he ran into the fray as Padem rolled her eyes.

"Hey, Master Kenobi," said a voice behind the Jedi Master.

He turned around. Twi'lek F'lar stood there. "What?" he asked nervously not knowing what she wanted and dredding what it might be.

"Have you looked outside?" she asked. She sounded excited.

"No," he replied. "Why?"

The Youngling used the Force to open the blinds in the room. Bright white light came in and everyone stopped to stare.

Huge white flakes of something were falling down outside. "Because, Master Kenobi," she said smiling. "It's snowing!"

_A/N_

_Well that was completly random. I hope you liked it anyway. I don't know if it ever snows in Coruscant but even if it don't well who cares anyway? Thanks again to I luv p5 for the inspirtation._


	21. The Abominable Snow Droid

Chapter 21

The Abominable Snow Droid

"Snow?" all the Jedi exclaimed running up to the windows. "Wow! Look at it!"

Obi-Wan looked at F'lar. "This had better not be one of your little pranks," he said.

She looked at him with her huge innocent eyes. "Oh, of course not!" she said. "If it were I'd be laughing right now." She jumped off the box she'd been standing on and picked up the microphone. "_Well the weather outside if frightful. But the fire is so delightful!" _she sang in an extreamly good voice. "_Since there's no place to go.. let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!"_

"Hey!" Simon exclaimed looking at her. "You sound great!"

"Oh me?" she asked blushing. "Not as good as I would with background singers!" she looked into the back of the stage. "Hit it girls!"

A spot light came on and Younglings Lase and Jade came out of the back. "_Jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way!" _they sang sounding like Destinie's Child.

"Wow!" Kit said all stary eyed. "I never knew Younglings could sing that well."

Obi-Wan sweat dropped. "Oh boy," he said.

* * *

"Hey what is all this?" Asajj Ventress asked looking out of Dooku's windshield at the blizzard. "When does it snow on Coruscant?"

"It's a Christmas miracle!" Grievous exclaimed staring at the snow like a child on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa.

"It's a _disaster_!" Dooku exclaimed. "I can't see!"

Suddenly the ship hit a huge spiral tower like thing and the back hatch opened. "Whoa!" Grievous exclaimed as he was sucked out of the ship and sent plunging head long into a huge snowpile outside the Jedi Temple.

"Oops," Dooku said. "I think we'd better go back and get him.."

* * *

Obi-Wan decided to get out of the auditorium. He'd just stepped into the darkened hall when he heard a voice say. "Oh, Obi-Wan!"

The Jedi looked over his shoulder. He saw Padme standing behind him giving him a sexy look. "Oh, um... Senator Amidala..," he said nervously.

She walked up to him. "Isn't this snow romantic?" she asked.

"Oh.. umm yes I guess it is..."

"Doesn't it want to make you want to kiss someone under the mistletoe?" she asked.

"Umm.. but.. we don't have any mistletoe," he said backing into the wall.

"Oh, yes we do," she said pulling out some mistletoe and putting it over his head. "Wanna kiss me now?"

* * *

Younglings Mute and Zardoc had just finished cleaning up the mess they'd made in the green house when they'd stepped outside and spotted something weird walking toward them through the blizzard.

"What is that?" Mute asked.

"I don't know," Zardoc replied. "It looks like a snowman."

"A walking snowman?"

They heard it growl. "A growling snowman!" they gasped.

"When I get my hands on them they will pay for this!" the thing yelled igniting two green lightsabers and two blue lightsabers.

"A TALKING SITH _SNOWMAN_!" they exclaimed in horror. "It's the abominable snowman!" they screamed running into the Temple. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

"Padme.." Obi-Wan said as he face got closer to his. "It wouldn't be right to Anakin.."

"Who cares about Anakin," she said grinning. "If you'd taken me to Naboo I would have married you!"

"Uh..."

"Just admit it," she said. "You were jealous when I married him."

"I didn't know till you told me before," he said. "I thought..umm..."

She giggled. "So you're admitting it now!"

"I..."

Suddenly they both heard someone scream. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"Hey!" Padme screamed. "You ruined the moment!"

Two Younglings ran past them. "IT'S THE ABOMINALBE SNOWMAN!" they screamed.

"The abominable snowman?" Obi-Wan and Padme asked looking at each other.

Suddenly a huge snow thing came into the hallway holding those lightsabers. It stopped and looked at them a moment. "What are you looking at?" he demanded.

"AAAAHHHHHH!" they screamed grabbing each other. "IT'S THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN!" they ran down the hall screaming.

* * *

Shaak Ti finally was able to get some clothes from the the laundry droids. The problem was, they weren't hers.

"How in the world did I grab _these_?" she asked herself looking down at the clothes she was wearing. "I look like a Playboy Christmas snow bunny!"

She saw Padme and Obi-Wan run by. "The abominable snowman!" they were screaming.

She sweatdropped. "Uh..." she said her eyes turning into small line beedies.

"WAH!" something screamed from behind her.

She looked over her shoulder. She saw this huge thing that looked like a mix between a robot and a snowman running down the hall toward her. "Uh..." she said staring at it.

The thing ran up to her holding it's lightsabers then stopped in its tracks. "Shaak Ti?" it said sounding confused.

"Uh..," she said. "Do I know you... Umm.. Mr. Snowthing?"

"It's me!" the thing said slipping on a piece of snow. "Whoa!"

All the snow came off of him and he stared up at her. "Uh..."

She stared back. "General Grievous?" she asked totally surprised.

He stared at her stupidly. "Shaak Ti?" he asked. He looked her up and down. "What are you wearing? You look like a Playboy Christmas snow bunny."

"I know!" she exclaimed angrily. "Those dumb droids stole my clothes and I wound up with this!" she looked down at herself. "Where the heck did this thing come from!"

She heard him panting. She looked back down at him. He was giving her a wolfish look. "What?" she demanded.

"You're _hot_!" he exclaimed then caught himself. "Umm," he said getting up. "Have you seen Dooku?"

"Um no," she said. "Maybe you should look somewhere else.

"Okay," he said. "By the way what's wrong with everyone here? They see me and scream and run away. I'm not _that_ scary am I?" he looked at himself.

"No," she said. "Not really. But you'd better leave before someone sees you."

"Okay," he said looking around. "Umm where's the exit?"

"Over there," she said pointing.

"Thank you," he said heading for it. "By the way you do look hot like that."

She blushed. "Umm thank you... General..."

"By the way," he said looking back at her. "Your gift is under your matteress."

"Uh..."

* * *

"I saw it!" Obi-Wan said to Mace Windu and Master Yoda. "So did Padme, Mute, and Zardoc!"

Mace shook his head. "Not right now," he said. "I don't have time for this. This rotten snow got into the emergeny generator. If the lights go out we won't have any back up."

"But."

"I have to go to the basement and fix it!" Mace shouted. "I don't have anymore time to talk about imaginary monsters!" He ran out of the room.

The other three looked at each other. "What's with him?"

"Dropped on his head when he was a baby perhaps he was?" Yoda suggested.

"Maybe," Padme agreed nodding. "That could be the reason."

Suddenly they heard him shout. "I found the problem!"

Then the lights went out.

_A/N_

_I have no idea. It was just a little snow idea. That's about it. I felt like adding a little PadmeXObi-Wan and Shaak TiXGrievous in here just for laughs. What do you think? I actually have no idea what a Playboy Christmas snowbunny looks like. I don't even think there are any snow bunnies for Playboy. :shrug: All well. By the way. Merry Christmas._


	22. Temple Ghost

CHAPTER 22

TEMPLE GHOSTS

"Of course the lights had to go out just when I was about to do something real cool for once," whined Palpatine as he tried to make his way out of the Jedi Temple. "How am I ever going to take over this place if bad things keep happening to me?"

_You could always give up..._ said a mysterious voice from the darkness.

A little freaked Palpatine looked over his shoulder. "How is there?" he demanded.

_It is me. Your beloved!_

A question mark appeared above the Chancellor's head. "Who?" he asked.

_Your Beloved. _the voice said again. _I've been watching you for the longest time. I want to be your lover!  
_"Uhh..." Palpatine looked around. "Who are you? Where are you?"

_I am your Beloved! I am right here! _

"Where?"

A high squeeky voice said right by his ear. _Riiiiight heeeeeeeeerrrreeeeeeeee!_

Palpatine jumped. "WHO-WA!" he shrieked feeling a hand slap his rear. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!"

A ghost materialized in front of him. A Force made grinning ghost with big teeth and a red and black face. _It's me! Darth Maul! Master!_

Palpatine stared at the ghost a moment then screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! LEAVE ME ALONE!" then he went running.

Ghost Darth Maul watched him go then said. _So maybe that wasn't a good idea. _

A Darth Plagueis Ghost appeared. _No, you think? _he demanded folding his arms. _That was the dumbest thing you have ever said. Why did you tell him you were his stupid Beloved for?_

Ghost Maul shrugged. _I dunno. I guess I was feeling goofy._

_NOW HE'S GOING TO THINK YOU WERE GAY AND ONLY WANTED TO BE TRAINED BY HIM TO BE NEAR HIM! _Palpatine's old Master yelled. _Not that being gay is a bad thing..._

_You guys need to grow up, _said the Ghost of Qui-Gon Jinn materializing out of nowhere. _Sith are hopeless. Why did I even agree to this mission?_

The two Sith ghosts looked at the Jedi ghost. _Because you think it's funny? _they both asked showing their big teeth.

Qui-Gon sweatdropped. _Okay, stop right there. Let's just go after him or something.._

_LET'S SCARE THE BOXERS OFF MACE WINDU! _Ghost Darth Maul squealed totally enthrualed by the prospect of torchuring Mace Windu. _He's in the basement and just full of paranoia!_

_Okay, _the other ghosts agreed.

* * *

Mace Windu worked feverishly on the Generator that he had broken. "Why does this always happen to me?" he asked himself. "Why is it always me?"

_I dunno... _said a voice behind him. _Maaaaaaaaaaybeeeeeeeee iiiit'sssss beeeeeeeecaaaaaaaaausseeeeeee youuu aaarreee iiiiiiiiinsaaaaaaaneeeeee..._

The Korun Jedi jumped and dropped his monket wrentch on his foot. "YEOW!" he wailed hopping on one foot. "Ow ow Ow!" he stuck his thumb in his mouth. "Why is everything so mean to me?"

The voice suddenly held a confused and hysterical sound to it. _You suuuuuuuuck your thuuumb?_

Mace looked up and took his thumb out of his mouth. "Who-Who's there?" he asked looking around.

_It's meeeeeeeeeee. You're Beeeeeloveeed!_

"My what?"

_Your Belooveeeed! IIII'veee beeeeeen waaaatching youuuu foooor aaaaaa looooooong tiiiiiiime._

"Who are you?"

_Your Beloved._

Mace wasn't buying it. "Anakin, if that is you you'd better knock it off right now," he bellowed. "I don't appreciate this. It's not funny!"

Silence.

Mace started walking forward. "Anakin, are you down here? Anakin? Anakin?"

He was close to the area of the Temple where the Temple founders had their ashes stored. "Anakin?" he asked all creeped out now. "Anakin?'

All of a sudden a weird thing with a red and black face materialized in front of him. _GAH! _it screamed chuckling madly. _MACE WINDU! I HAVE COME FOR MY REVENGE!_

Mace stared at the ghost a minute then screamed. "AAHHHHHH!' he run up thr staires shouting. "GHOSTS! MOMMMY!"

_BWAAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAA! _Ghost Darth Maul howled _That was too easy!  
_Darth Plagueis and Qui-Gon Jinn appeared. They looked bumbed. _Awww, you took away all our fun, man, _they whined.

* * *

Mace Windu ran into Obi-Wan and Padme when he reached the top of the stairs. He almost plowed them over but Obi-Wan managed to hold him back. "Mace, what in stars name are you doing?" Obi-Wan demanded.

"D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-" Mace stuttered.

"D-d-d-d-d what?" Padme demanded her face getting all puffy. "What is going on Mace?"

"DARTH MAUL!" he wailed looking over his shoulder back into the basement.

Padme and Obi-Wan looked at each other. "Darth Maul?" they asked. "But I killed him," Obi-Wan pointed out.

"His ghost is here!" Mace insisted. "It was in the basment! He's out to get me!"

The two looked at each other again. "Right," they said sarcasticly.

"I'm telling the truth!" Mace insisted. He grabbed their arms. "I'll show you."

Padme looked at Obi-Wan. "We'd better humor him," she said her eyes turning into lines.

* * *

Darth Maul was still laughing. _HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! _He gafawed. _Did you see the look on his face?_

Qui-Gon Ghost and Plagueis Ghost heard a noise and dived at Darth Maul to shut him up. _Shh! I hear someone coming! Stop laughing like a hyena, you moron!_

Darth Plagueis looked toward the stairs. _It's Mace, and Amidala, and ... well well _The Sith ghost looked at the Jedi ghost with a gleam in his eyes. _Your old Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi!_

_Oh boy! _Qui-Gon exclaimed excitedly. _I want to scare Kenobi! _he started jumping up and down excitedly. _OH BOY! OH BOY! OH BOY!_

_Shut up already, Jinn! _Plagueis shouted. _I know how much you love pranking your old Padawan. You told us that already. Let's just get them before they leave._

"See, Mace," Obi-Wan said looking around. "There are no Ghosts down here. Especially not Darth Maul's."

"Not over here," Mace said annoyed. "Over by the old Master Tomb."

"Over there?" Padme asked pointing to the darkest part of the basement.

"Yeah," Mace said nodding.

Padme shuddered. "It looks creepy," she commented.

"Well, that's where we'll have to look," Obi-Wan said taking her arm. "Let's go."

The three walked toward the tomb.

They looked around the whole area but found nothing. "You see, Mace there's nothing here," Obi-Wan said.

Mace was even more indignent. "I saw one!" he insisted. "I saw Darth Maul!"

"Sure," Obi-Wan said. "Whatever you say..."

_Obi-Waaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnn..._

Obi-Wan looked at Padme. "Cut that out," he growled.

"But I didn't say anything," she said.

_Keeeeennnnnooooooobiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..._

Obi-Wan looked at Mace. "Cut that out!" he ordered.

"I didnt!" Mace insisted.

"Then who did?" the Jedi demanded.

_Paaaaadmeeeeee Amidaaaaaaaaalaaaaaaaa! Maaaaaaaaaceeeeeeeee Wiiiiinduuuuuuuuuu..._

"What was that?" Obi-Wan asked.

"I don't know," Padme said getting closer to him. "But it sounded like it came from inside the tomb."

"But that tomb's been off limits for along time," Mace said. "How could it possibly be coming from-"

_Jeeeeeeeeediiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Weeeee haaavvvee cooommeeee tooo geeeeet youuuuuuuu!  
_Padme grabbed Obi-Wan's arm. So did Mace. "What was that?"

"Who's in there?" Obi-Wan asked his voice shaking. "Whoever you are come out right now!"

Then before he knew what was happening three figures appeared out of nowhere and came flying at them. _YOUR SOULS ARE OURS! _the ghosts shrieked. _BWAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAAAA!_

That took two seconds to register before the three knew what was going on. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" they screamed at the tops of their lungs. "GHOSTS!" then they ran up the stairs screaming all the way.

Darth Maul, Qui-Gon Jinn and Darth Plagueis fell over each other laughing hysterically. _WAHAHWAANAAAAHAHAHAHAAH! _they cackled. _That just never gets old!_

_A/N_

_I finally got an idea. I've been reading **D-N-Angel** recently and I think I got the inspiration from that and **Buffy**. Heh. I thought the thing with Darth Maul saying he was Palpatines Beloved would be funny so I added it and Plagueis... well I don't know much about him but I added him just for the sake of adding him... eheeh. I hope you liked the chapter. If you did, let me know. I would love to hear from you after all this time. :D Your feedback keeps me going! _


	23. Wrong Demention

CHAPTER 23 WRONG DEMENTION

Master Yoda rolled his eyes as he listened to Obi-Wan, Padme, and Mace talk about ghosts in the basement. He just couldn't believe three responcible adults would go around talking about ghosts. If it where Padawans he wouldn't have minded as much.

"Listen to yourselves you must," he said to them. "Going on about ghosts in the basement. On drugs are you? Having hallucinations are you?"

"No," Mace protested. "We are _not_ hallucinating. We saw the ghosts of the Sith in the basement."

Padme nodded. "Yes," she said. "Three Sith ghosts in the basement. They wanted our souls."

"Where were these "ghosts'?" Yoda asked.

"Near the area where the founders ashes are stored," Obi-Wan replied.

Yoda nodded. "Ohhhh... explains much that does," he said.

"What?" Mace asked. "What does it explain?"

Yoda chuckled. "Been hearing rumors have you?"

"What rumors?" Padme asked.

"That built by the Sith the Temple was," Yoda replied.

"What?" the two Jedi Masters exclaimed in disbelieve. "Our Temple was built by the _Sith_?"

"No," the short Jedi replied. "A myth that is. Created by bored Padawans it was." he chuckled. "Maybe saw three Padawans in sheets you did?"

The three stared.

Yoda shook his head and shrugged. "Insane you are," he said to them. "Been drinking beer too much you have. Lay off it you must. Lay down you should." he started to walk away. "Go finish my model ship I should. Sayonara for now."

As the three watched him walk away they heard him singing. "_You're looking for something you can't find. If you give it up you'll lose your mind. There's always something in your way. What can you say? You're gonna have a good day" _and sounding just like the lead singer of Click Five.

Padme looked at Obi-Wan and Mace. "I didn't know he could sing like that," she said awed by how young his singing voice had been.

"Neither could we," the Jedi admitted.

* * *

"Asajj, do you see Grievous down there?" Dooku asked looking down at the Jedi Temple. 

"Nope," the bald woman replied. "But I have good news."

"What? The snow finally stopped?" Dooku asked knowing full well that it had.

"No, I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico!" she replied grinning like the Mad Hatter.

Dooku rolled his eyes. "Why do I bother?"

"Hey, what's that?" Asajj asked suddenly.

"What's what?" the Sith Count asked.

Asajj pointed out the window. "What is that light?"

The Count's eyes followed her finger. Sure enough near the sun he saw a bright light like a super nova.

"What is that?" he asked.

"I dunno," Asajj said shrugging. "I already asked you. If _I _knew I wouldn't have asked _you_."

"It's getting bigger!" Dooku exclaimed as the light expanded.

"Oh no! What are we going to do!" she screamed.

"I don't know!"

The light enveloped their ship. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" they both screamed hugging each other in fear.

The light instantly faded as a chuckling sound replaced the sound of the ship. "Hey! what?" Dooku exclaimed. "Who is laughing? Who are you!"

He recieved no answer. As the sound faded away he heard someone speaking softly in a hauntingly low strange launguage he never heard before.

The Sith suddenly found themselves in a strange rocky land, their ship surounded by extreamly ugly monsters.

"DEMONS!" Asajj screamed, grabbing Dooku by the head and jumping up on his shoulders like a frightened cat. "We were sent to Hell! We went toward the bright light! We are dead!"

"Calm down, Ventress," Dooku said scowling. "We aren't dead and this isn't Hell. Maybe we can talk to them and find out where we are."

"Go right ahead," Asajj said.

Dooku pried the woman off his head and headed for the door. "Let's go," he said grabbing her arm.

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she exclaimed grabbing the chair. "I won't go! You can't make me!"

"Asajj, let's go!" Dooku shouted pulling on her legs and nearly ripping her pants off. "The sooner we find out where we are the sooner we can leave. Besides I highly doubt we'll have any trouble with these losers. And if you come with me I'l make you my Padawan."

Her ears perked up at that. "Really?" she asked. When he nodded Asajj finally let go. "Find," she said. "let's go."

The two headed for the door. The second the door opened the creatures took a step back. "Oooga ooga oog oog!" they all said.

"What are they saying?" Asajj asked.

Dooku shrugged. "I dunno." he stepped forward. "Does anyone here speak English?"

The monsters took another step back then suddenly seemed to grow very brave (Probably because the things that came out of the ship were only two weirdly dressed humans). With loud screetches they came at the two Sith wannabes.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Asajj screamed. "LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!"  
Good idea," Dooku exclaimed suddenly losing his courage. He turned and followed Asajj across the plain toward a big black spiral tower thing. "WE CAN HIDE IN THERE TILL THEY ARE GONE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The two Sith ran faster then they had ever run before and before long they had made it to the door of the tower and quickly clammered inside, closing and locking the big heavy door behind them.

"Phew!" Dooku said sighing and wiping sweat off his wrinkled brow. "That was close."

"Yeah," Asajj agreed, panting. "I thought they had us there for a moment."

"Yeah, me too," he agreed.

Ventress started walking forward. "I'm just glad we are in here and we don't have to worry about running into more of those ugly things-" her sentence was cut off when she ran into something's stomach. Looking up she said."'Uhhh... I think I spoke too soon..."

One of those ugly things stared down at her.

"So you think I'm ugly do you!" it demanded in a freakishly raspy voice. "I'll show you ugly, bald one!" He made a swipe at her.

Asajj screamed and wipped out one of her lightsabers. It cut off his one blue arm.

The thing stared at its stump for a moment then its upper lip began to quiver and it started to wail. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HEEEE HEE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" it sobbed grabbing its arm. "My poor arm!" he looked at the Sith woman. "Why did you do that, you big meanie?" it whined. "What did I ever do to you? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Asajj suddenly felt sorry for thre ugly thing. "I'm sorry," she said. "You startled me that's all," she walked up to the thing and gave it a big hug. "Aww poor wittle guy. Do you want me to kiss it and made it all better."

The thing looked at her with big teary anime eyes and went. "Mmmm hmmm." sounding exactly like the little lemor from _Madagascar_

Asajj took the arm in her hands and kissed it. "Is it better now?" she asked.

The thing nodded then stuck it's thumb in its mouth and started sucking. "Thank you," it said.

Dooku watched this whole thing with a weirdified look on his face. "What is she _doing_?" he asked. "What is that thing? Oh brother! Why am I even asking myself such a stupid question? How did we even end up here?"

"I think I might know," said a voice behind him that sounded a lot like his own.

Startled, Dooku turned around and found himself staring at some weird dude with white hair, a long white robe, and a white magic staff like thing. He looked a lot like Father Winter.

"Wha-" the Count gaped. "What are _you _suppost to be?"

The white clothed weirdo cocked his head, totally taken off balance by such a question. "I'm a wizard," he said. "Get with it, Yo."

"Eh?"

The wizard guy sighed. "My name is Saruman," he said as if explaining something very simple like brushing ones teeth. "I am a Wizard of wind or some other element. I work for the great Lord Sauron who just happens to look like a huge freaky eyeball in a orb and such and such. This is my evil lair and I'm trying to unearth Orgs or goblins or something like that so my Overlord Master will have an army... I'm not sure what I am doing I'll have to look over the plot line again."

"What? Huh? Lord Salmin?"

"Not Salmin!" the wizard roared. "Saruman! Don't you know anything?"

"Nope."

"Figures."

"So, umm, how did me and my "Padawan" here get to this place?"

"You mean I'm _really_ your Padawan now?" Asajj asked suddenly in the subject. She got all starry eyed at the thought. "How _sweet!"_

"No!" Dooku exclaiemd as he saw her walking over to him with that "Give me a hug" look in her eyes. "Just leave me be!"

"Ohh..." she said crestfallen

Salmon or Sarumon or Sarimin or whatever his name is said. "Well, your coming here was kinda a mistake," he said chuckling with embarressment.

"You got _that_ right, brother," Dooku said pulling out his lightsaber and activating it. "Now you tell me why we are here or where we are before I cut your big fat nose off!"

"Hey, your nose is the same size as mine, pretty boy!" Saruman exploded. "And if you want to find out how you ended up here you'll shut your pie hole and let me explain."

"Fine," Dooku deactivated his ligthsaber. "Go ahead and tell already."

The white wizard looked at his one armed minion and said. "Not here. Let's go into my chambers."

"Fine," Dooku said sighing and rolling his eyes. He looked at Asajj. "Let's go, Ventress."

"Yes, Master," Asajj said.

The two followed the white Father Winter named, Salamie into the dark depths of the tower.

_A/N_

_Without me telling who the white wizard is can you guess what he is from? I'll give you a hint. It has something to do with a ring. :D I hope you enjoyed it. I especially hope you TheAmazingTecnocolorRingWraith enjoyed it because you're partly the reason I even watched the movie in the first place. I hope to hear from you and I hope you liked the chapter people! And if you have any idea for me I'll gladly use them. I'm kinda in the middle of writers block..._


	24. Scare Tactics

CHAPTER 24

SCARE TACTICS

Meanwhile, while Asajj and Dooku were meeting Saruman the wizard and Obi-Wan, Padme, and Mace were finding ghosts in the basement, a bunch of Padawan's decided to take advantage of the city wide power outage and have a little mock camp out.

"So what should we do?" asked Aresh Pikil, a black skinned girl.

"Make more s'mors?" Pax Chizzik asked hopefully.

"We already made a bunch of s'mores!" Hanna Ding an Arkanian shouted in annoyance, holding her stomach. "If I eat another S'more I'm gonna puke!"

"I got an idea!" Lena Missa, a Chagrian Padawan exclaimed suddenly. "Let's tell Ghost Stories!"

"Great idea!" Whie Malreaux exclaimed excitedly. "Let me start! Let me start!"

"Okay," Lena said laughing. "You can start."

"Okay," Whie said putting a flashlight up to his face to make himself look scarier. "Once there was a guy who was real thirsty. One day he spotted a glass of water on his kitchen table and picked it up and took a drink. Halfway down he suddenly stopped and stared into his glass. His head broke out in a cold sweat and his eyes grew large." He leaned toward his audiance. "There in his glass was..."

"What?" Hera Tuix exclaimed leaning forward in suspence. "WHAT WAS IT?"

Whie leaned back and said in an extreamly loud voice. "IT WAS A BIG BLACK SPIDER!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Firrerreo Padawan Sisseri Deo screamed falling on his back.

"EW!" Hanna Ding exclaimed sticking out her tongue. "That wasn't scary! That was gross!"

Scout shook her head. "That wasn't so scary," she said. "Let me tell you a story!"

"Okay," Lena agreed. "You're next."

Scout took the flashlight from Whie and began. "One night on a planet far far away from here, a honeymoon couple were riding their car to Malibu California when they heard an announcement on the radio. _"We interrupt this program for a special announcement," _the DJ said. _"We have just recieved breaking news that an insane murderer has just escaped from the city insane assilum..."_

* * *

General Grievous was lost in the Temple. It would have been the best time for him to add to his lightsaber collection but all he wanted to do was get out of there. His favorite TV program was going to be on that night and he wanted to see how in ended.

"Maybe I should have asked my MangaGuards to record _Surface _for me," he muttered as he walked down the darkened hall. "I really wanted to see if they find out how those sea monsters were created..."

Suddenly he heard a voice saying. "... she heard a scraping sound on the car roof..."

"Eh?" he said looking toward the sound. "What?"

Farther down the hall he spotted a glow rod and about eight shadowy figures sitting around it. He heard that voice say again. "... She stayed there all night listening to the sound, too scared to get out of the car and run..."

Suddenly the General got an idea for a prank. "Hehehehehe!" he chuckled under his breath. "This is gonna be _sweet!"_

* * *

Scout was on a roll. She had everyone leaning toward her expectantly as she began to get to the end of the story. Little did she know was that General Grievous was sneaking up behind her ever so silently. Or so he thought. Behind Scout came a strange sound.

_Scrape... scrape..._

Scout didn't hear the noise since she was telling the story but the others did. They all looked at each other, their faces asking. _Do you hear that? _The other Padawans were nodding. Suddenly their faces filled with fear. _The insane murderer!_

Scout was reaching the end of her story. "She heard a scuffle above the car and saw the police pull something down from the roof. It ws the insane murderer!" a shadow raised up behind her and the Padawans watching it turn a deathly shade of white. "He'd been scraping the roof with his fingernails! One more half inch and he would have killed her like he had her husband!"

All of a sudden a loud noise rose up behind her. "!"

Startled, Scout jumped to her feet and turned around. Her eyes grew huge at what she saw. A strange creature with a nightmare of a face stood before her.

"!" the Padawan's behind her screamed. "IT'S THE INSANE MURERER!" they all got up and ran down the hall screaming.

"HEY, GUYS!" Scout screamed running after them. "WAIT FOR ME!"

Grievous watched them go then fell over laughing hyserically. "BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

"So," Dooku said when he, Asajj, and the wizard Saruman had reached the top of the tower. "How did Asajj and I end up on this weird planet?"

Saruman looked at them embarrested. "Well..." he said rubbing his arm nervously. "I was trying to create a snow storm and instead of saying "_Storma rage-a' _I think I said "_Senda Helpa"..."_

Dooku stared. "HOW COULD YOU MAKE A MISTAKE LIKE THAT?" he demanded. "How could you mess up a word like that?"

"I didn't do it on purpose!" the wizard defended himself. "I'd been drinking too much! My words were a bit slurred..."

Dooku grabbed him by the throat. "SEND US BACK, YOU MORON!" he shouted.

Saruman's face turned red and he smiled weirdly. "Uh... about that...," he said putting his hand behind his head nervously. "I don't know how to send you back..."

The Count's eyes enlarged. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO SEND US BACK?" he demanded.

"I don't remember how," the wizard said slowly. "I can try, but I don't think I can do it right..."

"Try," Dooku said through clenched teeth.

"Okay..." Dooku let him go and the wizard took a step back. "Stand by the tower ledge," he ordered.

The Sith did so.

Saruman lifted his large white staff like thing and began to say another spell in an attempt to send back the two Sith. "_Send-a back-a Fellowship-a Four-a to-a Coruscant-a!" _The stick glowed awesomely and a bright light filled the area.

When the light faded Asajj and Dooku were still there.

"We're still here!" Dooku exclaimed. "It didn't work!"

"Ooops," Saruman said. "I think I might have sent someone else there by accident."

"WHAT!"

* * *

Gandalf, Aragorn, Borimor, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Frodo, Legolas, and Gimli the Fellowship of the ring where walking along a mountain rang singing a song. "_I've woken now to find myself in the shadows of all I have created. I'm longing to be lost in you (away from this place I've made) won't you take me away from me?"_

"Okay," Gandalf the wizard, said looking at a map. "If we go this way we could be in the next area by the time Frodo's cold it gone."

"It's been gone for the past week!" Frodo the ring bearor Hobbit exclaimed.

Gandalf went on as if the little guy had said nothing. "It will also be good for Gimli's ashma and Legolas' athelite's foot."

"I don't have athelite's foot!" the elf shouted annoyed. "I never did!"

"Can we just get out of this snow?" Merry whined, clutching his stomach. "I'm hungry! I wanna eat!"

"You always wanna eat!" Frodo shot back.

"I do not!"

"Do too!'

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"ENOUGH!" Gimli shouted swinging his axe at the two Hobbits. "If either of you say another word I'm gonna cut off your heads!"

Aragorn was about to say something along the lines that he'd better not or ... when suddenly there was a huge flash of exaggerated light.

"What the?" Legolas asked looking up at the light. "What kind of evil is this?"

"I dunno," Gandalf said shrugging. "But it sure is pretty!"

"I think it's gonna," Frodo began when suddenly the light enveloped him. "WAH!"

"What?" Gimli asked swinging his axe at the light. "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?"

Then as soon as the light had appeared it vanished.

"What was that?" Borimor asked looking around.

"I don't know," Sam said nervously "But I think we should keep going.." he turned to face Frodo. "What do you think Mr-GAH! FRODO IS GONE!"

The others looked around. "So is Gandalf, Aragorn and Legolas!" Pippin exclaimed.

"WHERE DID THEY GO?" Suddenly Borimor remembered something. "THE RING IS GONE TOO!"

Audiance: _!_

* * *

"So who did you send to our world?" Dooku demanded, glaring at the wizard.

Saruman shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "But I have a feeling it was certain people that shouldn't have gone anywhere..."

"Oops," Asajj said in a blondish way.

" 'Oops' is right."

_A/N_

_What was that mountain range called that was in Lord of the Rings? I can't remember. Anyway none of the Padawans in this chapter belong to me. They were all mentioned in the one Star Wars, Clone Wars book about Yoda._


	25. WTF!

CHAPTER 25

WTF!

Darth Fozzy stepped outside of the Temple to breathe in some fresh air. "Ahhh!" he said taking a deep breath of the crisp night air. "That's better! It sure is stuffy in that Temple! How can those Jedi stand it?"

He walked through the Temple garden staring at melting patches of the recent flash snow storm Coruscant had. He looked over the city but all the power was still out. The snowstorm (which nobody could have predicted or knew about 'till the last minute) had cut the power everywhere so the entire city was dark except patches where the planet's four moons could reach with their silvery light.

"It's so nice to finally be able to breathe easy!" he said all gooey for some reason. "I miss Earth and all it's-"

A sudden crashing sound made him stop. He stared at a nearby tree that swayed weirdly in the none existant wind.

"What the?" he said walking over to it. "Did a badger get up in a tree? I hope not! I hate badgers!"

When he reached the tree he heard voices from above. "Now how the heck did we end up here?" he heard a manly voice demand. "Gandalf have you been using your magic to play pranks again?"

"NO!" said a older voice. "I have not! Why would I send us into a tree?"

"Because it would be funny?" asked a younger voice.

"YEOW!" screamed another voice. "My butt landed on a potruding branch!"

"That's gotta hurt," that young voice said again.

"Can we get down now?" the first voice asked.

"Yeah!" called voice #4. "This branch has given me a major wedgie!"

"Yeah, Gandalf," said the manly voice. "Get us out with your magic."

"I can't get us out!" shouted Old Voice. "I don't know how to..."

_CRACK!_

"Uh... what was that?" asked the young voice.

_Crack! CRACK! **CRACK!  
**_"I think that-" said voice #4

_**CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!**_

"WAH!" screamed the old voice.

Far above the branches in the tree suddenly broke apart. Before Darth Fozy knew what was happening four shadowy figures fell out of the tree and headed straight toward him.

"Uh oh," he said sweatdropping. "This isn't good..."

**BOOM!**

The figures fell right on top of him.

"That works," said Frodo sitting up. "Now where are we?" he looked around.

"I don't know," Aragorn said looking at the sky. "But I don't think we're in Middle Earth anymore."

"I thought the frase was 'we're not in Kansas anymore'?" Legolas asked confused.

"I've never been to Kansas,' Aragorn muttered annoyed at Legolas' blond stupidity.

"Wherever we are they sure have weird landscapes," Gandalf said reaching under his bottom. "And what the heck am I sitting on?" He pulled out a squeeshed Darth Foxxy. "AAAAAKKK!" he shrieked jumping up. "What is this?"

The bear looked at them all with a mouth full of distorted teeth. "Ohhh..." he moaned.

"IT'S A DEMON!" Frodo shrieked grabbing Legolas arm.

"What?" Darth Fozzy asked cluelessly. "Demon? Where?"

Seeing that the 'demon' could talk freaked everyone out. "IT'S A TALKING DEMON!" they screamed.

Then, before he could correct them, the four Middle Earth heroes ran screaming into the Jedi Temple. "DEEEEEEEEEMOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN!"

"What was that all about?" he wondered staring at the dust clouds they'd kicked up in their wake.

* * *

"Try again," Dooku ordered the wizard Saruman. 

"Fine," the wizard said getting annoyed at the Sith lord that looked like him. "I'll try again." He lifted his staff and chanted. "_Un-a do-a four-a transport-a!"_

There was another flash of light. This time it was even more exagerated. When that light faded Asajj and Dooku were still there.

"IT DIDN'T WORK AGAIN!" Dooku screamed.

"Ooops," Saruman said.

"Who did you send this time?"

* * *

Pippin stood on the mountain in the middle of a blizzard all alone. "GIMLI, SAM, BORIMOR, MERRY? _WHERE ARE YOU!"_

_

* * *

_

The three standing on top of Saruman's tower heard the scream from where they stood.

"I have no idea," the wizard lied. "It's not important anyway. Let me try again."

"You had better get it right this time," Dooku growled.

"I will," Saruman said. "I remember the words now."

"Well get to it then," Count Dooku snapped impatiently

"_Har-a Pott-a com-a back-a to-a me-a!" _he yelled.

Another super nova of light appeared then vanished. Saruman's eyes grew huge and what he saw. ASAJJ AND DOOKU WERE STILL THERE!  
"Ooops," he said nervously.

"YOU IDIOT!" Dooku shouted igniting his lightsaber. "I thought you said you had it right this time!"

"I thought I did," the wizard said sounding totally unsure of himself. "Maybe I should have said _Sith-a _instead of _Pot-a_..."

"_Pott-a_?" Asajj asked. "What in theworld is a _Pott-a_?"

"What did you do this time?" the Count demanded. "Who did you transport now?"

All of a sudden a broom stick fell from the sky. A broom stick with someone sitting on it. The broom stick and its rider fell right on top of Dooku, knocking him to the floor of the tower.

"Dooku!" Ventress screamed running forward then stopping.

Asajj stared it its rider for a moment. It was a kid in a black over coat. He had dark hair, a muticolored scarf, and round rimmed glasses. "Who... who are you?" she asked.

The glasses wearing kid looked up at her and said in a thick british accent. "Harry Potter."

"HARRY POTTER?" Saruman exclaimed staring at Harry Potter with huge eyes. "WTF!"

"Great, now you're not even getting the worlds right," the bald woman said.

"What am I sitting on?" Harry asked looking under his backside.

"GET OFF ME, YOU BRAT!" Dooku shouted angrily. "I'M NOT A SOFA!"

"Oh, I am terribly sorry, gov," the kid said jumping off the Count. "Beggin your pardon sir, but I didn't see you."

Dooku started at the kid with the strange accent. "Gov?"

"Should I try again?" Saruman asked holding his staff up, ready for another try.

"NO!" Asajj and Dooku shouted as one.

"You might accidently summon the Winx Club or the Teen Titans," Dooku grumbled.

"TEEN TITANS?" Saruman said all starry eyed. "They are like my FAVORITE super heroes!"

"Oh brother," Asajj said sweatdropping.

"Pardon me, sirs," Harry said. "But I must be returning to Hogwarts for afternoon tea." He got on his broom and rode it to the edge of the tower. "Cheerio!" he called waving over his shoulder at them.

The broom flew out into mid air then seemed to stall. _Put... PUT... **PUT**! _The next instant the broom and Harry Potter were falling. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the kid screamed plummeting down to the earth and a million hungry kid eating orcs. "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPP!"

"Harry!" Asajj screamed. She grabbed Dooku. "QUICK! YOU GOTTA SAVE HARRY!" the next instant she flung him over the side.

"VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENTTTTTTTTTREEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" Dooku screamed as he fell.

Asajj stared after him realizing her little mistake. "Ooops," she said before she was crushed by a golem that fell out of the sky on top of her thanks to our little friend Saruman, who desperatly wanted to summon the Teen Titans.

_A/N_

_DARTH FOZZY'S BAAAAAAAAAAAACK!_

_No, I am not making fun of Harry Potter or anything British. I just don't know how he acts exactly. I never read the books or saw the movies. I have no idea why I put Harry in this chapter. I guess I thought it would be funny...SORRY! No offence intented, DON'T HURT ME HARRY FANS:runz:_


	26. AN IMMATURE IDEA

CHAPTER 26

AN IMMATURE IDEA

Meanwhile, while everyone else was having a crazy night a few of the Jedi had all congragated in one of the lounges full of over stuffed chairs and couches. In the very center of the room, on a coffe table, was a small powerful lamp that made the room look almost as bright as day. Ki-Adi-Mundi was the most bored out of all the Jedi in there and seemed to have been reading too many _Seventeen _Magazines (which he stole from Aalya Secura's room whom he randomly stalks) when he got an extreamly bad idea.

"Hey!" he exclaimed tossing the magazine aside and sitting straight up in his chair. "Let's rate each other's butts!"

Kit Fisto stared at him. "WHAT!"

"Let's rate each other's butts," he said again looking excited.

"No!" Kit said. "I will do nothing of the sort! What are you on? You weirdo?"

"Nothing, he said. "I just want to rate your butt."

"NO!"

"Then whose butt can I rate?" Ki-Adi-Mundi pouted then glanced over at Aayla Secura who glared at him. "Not a chance in Hell," she informed him promptly.

"But-"

"No!"

"But!"

"No!"

"But-"

"NO, AND STOP SAYING BUT!"

"Please," he begged. "I'll give you money."

The Twi'lek perked up. "Money?" she asked.

"Yes, money," the Jedi Master promised, holding up a huge wad of bills.

"Hey, where'd you get that?" Kit demanded.

Ki-Adi-Mundi just grinned. "I have my ways," he informed the other Jedi. He looked back at Aayla. "Well?"

"Okay," she said sighing. "I'll let you rate my butt."

"OH BOY!" the other Jedi exclaimed clapping his hands. "This is going to be fun!"

"For you maybe," Kit said glaring at the Jedi. _That just happens to be my girlfriend, you pervert!_

Aayla Secura stood up and walked over to Ki-Adi-Mundi, rolling her eyes in annoyance. "This is so stupid," she muttered. She turned her butt on the Jedi Master. "What do you rate it?"

He stared at it a moment then said. "Four."

She turned on him. "FOUR?" she demanded. "Is that all?"

"I thought you didn't care" Kit Fisto spoke up from his easy chair.

"I don't," she said then turned her butt on him. "But look at this don't you think it deserves better than I four?"

"It depends," Kit said looking away from the blue Twi'lek's rear.

"Depends on what?" she demanded.

"On what version of numbers he used," the Naoulatona explained. "1 to 10. or 1 to 5."

"Oh..." Aayla looked over at Ki-Adi-Mundi. "What were you using."

"1 to 5," he replied grinning.

The Twi'leks blue face turned bright red. "Oh..." she said back down. "Then that's different."

"Yup," he agreed.

"So where's my money?" she asked.

"Oh that," he tossed the wad of bills to her. "Here you go."

She caught the money and pocketed it. "Thank you," she said. "And don't ever make me do that again."

"Okay," he said standing up. "How about you rate mine now?"

Kit sputtered and Aayla gaped at the big headed Jedi. _"WHAT_!" they demanded in one voice.

"Rate my butt," he said turning his rear end on her.

"You've _got _to be kidding," Aayla said glaring at Ki-Adu-Mundi.

"No, I am not," he said dead serious.

Kit's green face started to turn white. He felt sick. "Oh boy...," he said putting his hand over his mouth. "I think I'm gonna-Hurk!"

Aayla looked over at Kit Fisto. "KIT!" she exclaimed staring at his white face. She glared at Ki-Adi-Mundi. "Now look what you've done!"

"Just give me a number already," he said.

"2!"

"2? why 2?" the Jedi Master demanded offended.

"Because of exass hair!" she shot back looking at Kit worriedly. "Oh boy..."

* * *

Merry, Borimor, Sam and Gimli appeared in the Jedi Temple right by the lounge door.

"Where are we now?" Merry asked looking around. "This place looks weird. Are we in some kind of tomb?"

"I don't think so," Borimor said also looking around. "It sure is dark in here, though..."

"I think I see a light," Gimli said looking in the direction of a half open door that was letting out a small sliver of yellow light. He started walking toward it. "I wonder who's here."

"Gimli, get back here!" Sam whispered urgently. "You don't know what's in there! There could be Orcs in there!"

"Hmmmm... Orcs...," the dwarf said opening the door part way to peek inside. "I can add to my record. That should show Legolas who is superior!"

"Are you still buming about Legolas eating more blueberry pies than you at the county fair?" Borimor asked annoyed. "You need to get a life, dude."

The dwarf glared back at the human. "I told you to never mention that incident again!" he growled.

"Sorry," Borimor said though he wasn't.

"Fine." The dwarf was satisfied. He turned back to the door opened it all the way and... SCREAMED HIS BLOODY HEAD OFF!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed falling back into Merry who had come up behind him to find out what he saw.

"WHAT?" Sam asked pulling out a little sword. "WHAT IS IT?"  
"MONSTERS!" Gimli exclaimed brandishing his axe. "BIG MONSTERS!"

"Eh?" Borimor asked.

Gimli looked back at the door to make sure none was coming to find out who screamed before he said. "Aye, monsters, laddy. A green one, a blue one, and one with a big head."

The other three stared at him. "I think Gimli's been sipping the elven wine again," Sam said.  
"I HAVE NOT!" Gimli shouted. "I WOULD NEVER DRINK THAT SWAMP WATER!"

"For someone who thinks it's swamp water you sure guzzle it down hard a parties," Borimor said.

The dwarf sputtered but said nothing else.

Merry, who was curious about what Gimli saw, peeked into the room and stared. His eyes grew wide and he let out his own scream. "WAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The other three stared at him. "WHAT?"

Merry pointed a shaking finger into the room. "Th... th... there," he stammered.

"Not Merry too," Borimor said slapping his forehead.

"No!" the Hobbit exclaimed. "I saw one! In there! Look for yourself!"

Borimor and Sam looked at each other and shrugged. "Better humor them," they said at once.

The two walked toward the door and and peeked inside.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they both screamed.

"Now do you believe me?" Gimli demanded.

The two skeptics had no choice.

"What should we do?" Merry asked biting his fingernails.

"I know what we can do," the dwarf replied brandishing his axe. "We'll cut em to ribbens!"

Sam and Borimor drew their swords.

"CHARGE!" Gimli shouted barging into the room.

* * *

Ki-Adi-Mundi, Aayla Secura, and Kit Fitso were just deciding to leave, since Kit wasn't sick anymore, when suddenly four weird creaters burst into the room.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Aayla screamed jumping into Kit's arms and knocking him over into the plush couch.

"OOF!" he exclaimed when he felt the weight of her butt smack into his stomach. "You're crushing my spleen!"

"WHAT ARE THEY?" Ki-Adi-Mundi asked staring at the weird creatures.

"STAND BACK, MONSTERS!" the short creature with the big beard the reached down to his ankles screamed. "PREPARE TO DIE!"  
"Die?" Kit said looking at Aayla. "Die?" she said back.

"Look here," Ki-Adi-Mindi said taking a step forward. "I don't know who you are but..."

_**WACK!**_

A huge metal axe swung inches from his face. The Jedi Masyer jumped back. "HEY!" he exclaimed.

"Listen here servants, of Saron!" the tall human guy said brandishing a weird looking weapon. "We will not let you take the Ring from us!"

"Ring?" Aayla asked looking at them. "What ring?"

"You know what ring we are talking about," a slightly fat short human said walking forward. "And what have you done with the others?"

"Others?" the three Jedi said at once. "What others?"

Suddenly the short creature with the beard, who looked like he was out for blood, said., "Enough talk. Let's just cut off their heads and put them on poles."

"WHAT!"

The four weirdo's took a step toward the Jedi. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the screamed charging forward.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the Jedi screamed jumping onto the backs of the couches. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

Legolas heard something withing the depths of the Temple and ground to a halt, grabbing Gandalf's arm in the process. "Wait!" he said listening. "Did you hear that?"

The wizard with the big hat looked at him. "No," he said. "Maybe it was just your imagination."

The elf considered then nodded. "I guess you're right."

_A/N_

_I kinda got this idea after watching **Navy NCIS. **Don't ask because I don't remember the name of the episode. I hope you though it was funny anyway. I hope none got offended by Ki-Adi-Mundi's little butt rating idea. I consider him someone who would come up with the idea. :D_


	27. Haunted Closet

CHAPTER 27

HAUNTED CLOSET

Anakin was tired of all the weird things happening at the Temple and decided he needed a break from it all. Since he couldn't go Pod Racing he decided to try the other alternative. Going to bed. Anakin liked sleeping, aside from the fact that when he slept he had weird dreams, and did it as often as he could. Anakin stripped off his Jedi robes and put on his heart covered pajamas then he hopped into bed, turned off the light, and tried to get some sleep.

* * *

Ghost Darth Maul was bored. The other two Ghosts Darth Plagieus and Qui-Gin Jinn were fooling around with the shower knobs in Mace Windu's bathroom and didn't want him helping because he'd mess up. So instead of getting real annoyed and yelling and throwing a tantrum he spotted Anakin going to bed and got his own evil idea.

Chuckling evilly he floated into Anakin's bedroom and into the Jedi Knight's closet. _Heheheh, _he chuckled putting his hands over his mouth to muffle his giggles. _This is going to be sweet!_

* * *

Anakin was just falling asleep when he heard a strange sound coming from his closet. Sitting up instantly he stared at the closed door of his closet and tried to figure out what he had heard. "I wonder if Obi-Wan is trying to prank me again?" he asked out loud. He looked toward the closet and shouted. "Master, if that is you get out of there right now!"

Silence. It lasted for a few minutes then, just as Anakin is deciding to get out of bed and kick Obi-Wan around the room and out the door, the door opened slowly... It opened forward and sounded all creaky. Anakin stared in horror as the door opened and saw nobody on the other side. "Master...?" he stuttered.

Suddenly laughter filled the room. Anakin ducked under his covers and pulled them up to his nose. Cautiously he peeked over the top. "You don't scare me!" he shouted even though he was trembling.

Suddenly two of his boots came out of the room. Anakin watched with rapidly growing eyes as the boots slowly walked up to the bed then gained speed. Suddenly they ran at him madly and he screamed as the boots flew over his head and hit the wall behind him.

That did it. Anakin was gone. Without even stopping to put on a robe or slippers he jumped out of bed and ran out of the room and down the hall screaming. "GHOSTS! THERE ARE GHOSTS IN MY ROOOOOM!"

* * *

Ghost Darth Maul sat on Anakin's bed laughing his red and black head off. _AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! _he laughed in hysterics. _That was great! I wonder what else I can do?_

_

* * *

_

Anakin was so freaked out that he was too into looking over his shoulder to make sure nothing was following him that he didn't see the blond tall figure or the shorter figure in the gray hat walking toward him.

_CRASH!_

Anakin slammed into the two figures and all three fell to the floor. "Ow!" the Jedi whined sitting up and holding his head. "My head! What happened!" When he spotted the figures in front of him in the gloom he stared at them.

"What?" the blond figure asked pushing himself into a sitting postion. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

Anakin's eyes grew huge then once again then he screamed, got up, and ran back the way he had come. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Legolas and Gandalf stared at each other, confused. "What was with him?" they asked as one.

* * *

Anakin ran back into his room and dived under his covers. Quaking in fear he pulled them over his head and stayed there, shivering, the rest of the night. Or he would have liked too. Suddenly he heard a moaning sound coming from inside his closet. Sitting bolt upright he stared at the closet, his forehead breaking out in a cold sweat.

"Who are you?" he asked the moaning spirit.

Instead of answering a devilish ghost flew out of his closet wailing and clancking heavy chains against each other. _Anakin Skywalker! _it wailed in a high pitched, banshee, voice. _You have been a very bad boy! I have come to take you to the place where all bad little boys go!_

"H..." Anakin squeaked. "Hell?"

_Riiiiiiiiiiight! _Suddenly the thing came at him again.

Instantly the young Jedi was out of bed. Without hesitating he once again ran down the hall, screaming.

Ghost Darth Maul watched him go. _This is fun. I think I'll stick around for awhile. Maybe I'll even get my revenge on the one who made me lose my lower half..._

_A/N_

_A short chapter but I didn't have anything else to write. I need more ideas. _

_I got this idea from a **Ghost Whisperer **epidose so I have to thank Jennifer Love Heuwit (not sure if I spelled it right) and her friend for the idea. :D I love that show (**Ghost Whisperer **I mean). _


	28. Pink Elephants

CHAPTER 28 PINK ELEPHANTS

Meanwhile back on Middle Earth Saruman had finally given up trying to summon the teen titans and he, Asajj, Dooku, and Harry Potter all headed back into the tower. Dooku was in a totally rotten mood. He'd been thrown off the edge of the tower when Asajj had attempted to make him save the Potter kid and had nearly been impalied by an orc's spear. The only thing that saved him and Harry was the fact that the kid's broom finally came back into working order and flew him and Harry back on top of the tower just in time to witness Saramon trying to summon the Teen Titans but accidently summoning Lord Darkar from the Winx Club. Needless to say Lord Darkar was ticked and turned into his phoenix form and started a rampage. Saruman was able to remember the spell to send people back to their own words just long enough to keep Darkar from torching the tower. The Winx Club bad guy was sent back to the world of Magix. Dooku then demanded that the wizard send Asajj and him back to Coruscant but Saruman forgot the words again and summoned a lake instead.

Now that Saruman was out of magic for the time being nobody had anything to do so they all headed down to his cozy living room.

"Okay," Asajj said flopping down on the couch. "What are we going to do now? We can't just sit here and do nothing."

"What else can we do?" Saramon asked, her playing with his wand staff thing. "I'm out of magic. I'll have to take a long nap to replenish it all."

"We could have some tea," Harry spoke up. "I missed mine."

"Is that all you think about?" Asajj asked, giving him an annoyed look.

"Mostly," he said shrugging. "But I do think of other things as well..."

While the others were talking Dooku noticed a glass bottle on a nearby table. Curious about the contents he picked it up and opened it. He took a sip if it and discovered it was wine of some sort. Dooku happened to love wine though he never drank any of it. This time me made an acception and started guzzling it down.

Nobody saw what he was doing and kept talking. "I seriously need to get back to Coruscant," Asajj said.

"Why?" Harry asked. "Is your boyfriend there waiting to take you out on a date?"

She stared at him in horror. "No!"

"Really?" Saruman asked picking up a tabloid paper. "It says here that you and Obi-Wan are having a thing."

The Sith woman's face filled with disgust. "EW!" she groaned sticking out her tongue as if she tasted something bad. "I'm not going out with Obi-Wan! I hate him!"

"But it says right here that you followed him all the way to Ord Cestus because you secretly love him and are stalking him because he doesn't accept how you feel," he read. He looked up at her. "It also says you hate Padme because she is trying to steal him from you."

"I DO NOT HATE PADME!" Asajj shouted. "I don't even know who Padme is!"

Saruman chuckled. "In denial aren't you?" he asked.

"NO!" she shouted jumping to her feet. "I AM _NOT_ IN LOVE WITH OBI-WAN!"

Harry noticed something sticking out of her pants pocket, just then. He grabbed it and opened it. "Then what is this?" he asked showing it to her.

Asajj stared at the paper in horror. "GIVE ME THAT!" she screamed making a grab for it.

Harry held it away from her and began to read it as she chased him around the room with her lightsaber.

_Obi, Oh, Obi,  
My one and only,  
How I long to have you here,  
where you can hold me near!_

_Obi, oh , Obi,  
If you only knew.  
How my heart pounds,  
When I look at you!_

"Give that back!" Asajj screamed swiping at his head with her lightsaber.

Meanwhile Dooku had guzzled down more than half of the bottle of wine and was now beginning to feel tipsy. He looked up and saw what was happening but only giggled.

Suddenly something else filled his vision and his eyes grew wide in horror. Sitting on all the furniture in the room were huge pink elephants. They were laughing and drinking tea and just having a good time. Dooku's mouth hung down at his waist. He'd never seen creatures like that before and he'd been on almost every planet in the universe!

Just then one elephant looked at him and raised his tea cup to him. "Cheerio!" he said grinning.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Dooku screamed, totally freaked out. He jumped out of his chair and dived at Saruman, knocking him of the couch. "HIDE ME! THERE ARE _PINK ELEPHANTS _IN HERE!"

Asajj stopped chasing Harry. She and the little wizard stared at him. "Pink elephants?" they looked at each other.

Saruman glared at Dooku who was sitting on his chest. "Dooku, have you been drinking?" he demanded.

"Umm I drank something," Dooku said, holding up a bottle. "This tasty wine."

Saruman stared at the bottle. "THAT WASN'T WINE, YOU MORON!" he shouted. "That was my hallucination potion!"

Dooku blinked. "Hallucination potion?" he asked. "What's that?"

"It makes you see pink elephants," he explained.

"So it's booze," Asajj said. "Only booze can make you see pink elephants."

"Yeah, whatever," Saruman turned away from them all, now in a totally rotten mood. "Now I have to make another one." With that he stormed out of the room.

The others stared at each other. "What was that about?"

"Can we have our tea now?" Harry asked.

Dooku glared at him and slammed him into the floor. "SHUT UP!" he shouted. "IT THAT ALL YOU THINK ABOUT? TEA?"

"Umm no," Harry said. "I also think about Snape and my best friends..."

Asajj rolled her eyes. "Oh brother," she grumbled. "and I thought my name was dumb!"

Dooku stood back up. "I think I'll go after Saruman and see if his magic has recharged enough to send us back to Coruscant now." Then he left as well.

Just then another voice said. "Excuse me, but I think I'm on the wrong planet."

Hrry and Asajj turned around and stared open mouthed at who they saw. There in the hallway, with her short purple hair, and black and blue clothing, was none other than the Teen Titan Raven!

_A/N_

_I hope that was funny. I had no idea what to put so I was just being random and I won't update again until I get atleast five reviews. _


	29. Breakfast

CHAPTER 29 BREAKFAST

The next morning at the Jedi Temple when Master Yoda arrived in the cafateria he spotted something sitting in his chair at the head of the table reserved for the Masters. _What is this? _he thought walking over to it. _Who is in my chair? **MY **chair! _

As he got closer he saw it was a cloaked figure with brown hair and weird eyes. He recognized it right away. _That Ewok! _he thought clenching his cracked teeth. _Back that Sith Ewok is! _He ignited his lightsaber. "And sitting in my chair of all places!" he growled. "Well let him get away with that I will not!" He ran toward the chair and jumped into the air. "TIME TO DIE, SITH EWOK!"

Darth Fozzy, who was scarfing down a huge plate of waffles looked up just in time to see master Yoda coming down at him with a lightsaber. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the bear screamed jumping out of the chair.

It was just in time too. Yoda came down on the chair and table and cut through anything that got in his way. He wound up cutting up the waffles as well as half the table and splitting his own private chair in two. The two halfs quivered then fell in opposite directions on the floor.

"Hey!" Darth Fozzy shouted. "What do you think you're doing? Ruining my breakfast like that?"

Yoda turned to glare at the bear. "Kill you I will, Ewok!" he took a step toward the bear.

"Wait!" Darth Fozzy shouted, putting out his hands. "before you kill me let me tell you one joke."

Yoda considered this then said. "All right. One joke. Then kill you I will."

"What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?"

Yoda cocked his head. "I dunno. What?"

"A toy-_Yoda! _Wacka wacka wacka!"

Needless to say Yoda didn't laugh. He didn't even think the joke was funny. Instead he took offence. "Making fun of me are you?" he demanded stepping toward the bear.

Darth Fozzy's forehead broke out in sweat as he backed away from the Jedi. "N... no!" he shouted nervously. "It's just a joke."

"Funny it was not!" Yoda shouted. "Not funny are you! Time to kill you it is!"

Then Yoda attacked.

Darth Fozzy screamed and went running. Yoda chased him back into the kitchen.

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi and Shaak Ti were on their way to the cafateria for breakfast just talking about things and enjoying a nice quiet morning after all the weird stuff that had happened the night before. They came to a stop outside of the cafateria door and Obi-Wan said. "So I heard you ran into Grievous last night."

Shaak Ti blushed. "Yeah," she said. "We had a little talk then he left. He was mad about something and mentioned killing Dooku or something like that."

"I wish he would," Obi-Wan said. "Then we would have one last problem to worry about."

Suddenly there was a boom from inside the cafateria.

"What was that?" Shaak Ti asked.

Obi-Wan didn't know. Using the Force he opened the door. The two peeked inside. Their eyes grew wide at what they saw. Master Yoda was using the Force to throw all sorts of breakfast foods around the huge room. He was also screaming like an insane lunatic."EWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!"

The two Jedi stared at each other. "Not again," they said.

Suddenly something brown and furry flew by them. It went by so fast Obi-Wan and Shaak Ti were thrown to the floor.

"Are you all right?" the human Jedi asked getting up and offering his hand to the Togruta.

"I think so," she said taking it.

He helped her up.

"What was that thing anyway?" she asked looking down the hall.

"I have no idea," Obi-Wan said shrugging.

Just then Yoda came out of the cafateria and demanded. "Where did it go?"

"What?" Obi-Wan asked.

"A brown furry thing."

Shaak Ti pointed down the hall. "It went that way," she said.

Yoda thanked her and ran after it.

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and twirled his finger around by his ear. Shaak Ti giggled and nodded.

"C'mon," she said. "I think we'd better clean up the mess Master Yoda made before anyone else wakes up."

"Yeah," he agreed.

Just then Mace Windu came down the hall looking very grumpy. He was heading toward the diningroom and he had a look in his eyes that told everyone to stay away, like he'd had a bad night and he had. Even so, Obi-Wan didn't want Mace finding the mess in the cafateria lest he blamed Shaak Ti and Obi.

"Master Windu," Obi-Wan said. "I don't think you want to go in there." Mace walked past him and grumped. "Oh, leave me be. What did you do this time? Wax the floor so I'll slip."  
"Uh..."

"Move!" Mace shouted.

The two other Jedi moved out of the way. Mace went inside and closed the door.

"3...2...1..." Shaak Ti said slowly.

Suddenly Mace shouted. "OBI-WAN KENOBI, SHAAK TI, WHAT DID YOU DO!"

The two Jedi stared at each other. "Let's get out of here," Shaak Ti said.

"I'm right behind you," Obi-Wan agreed.

They ran down the hall and out of that side of the Temple.

_A/N_

_Well I didn't have much of an idea but I came up with something. Someone wanted me to put up something about Darth Fozzy so I came up with this. As you can see Yoda is still trying to kill him. Hope that was funny. _


	30. THE INVISABLE HAND VS THE SS ENTERPRISE

CHAPTER 30 THE _**INVISABLE HAND**_VS THE **_SS ENTERPRISE_**

General Grievous had finally found his ship the _Invisable Hand _and had left the planet with his robots and magna guards. He was still grumpy about being abandoned by Asajj and Dooku and had holed himself up in his room with the big swivel chair which he was currently spinning around to get his mind off all the bad things.

"How dare those two abandon me like that?" he growled spinning his chair around so everything looked blurry. "Don't they realize I am the most important person in this entire stinking army! Without me there would be no war! Nobody apreciates me!"

Finally he put his foot down and stopped the chair. As he got back up he suddenly felt very sick. "Oh... I shouldn't have done that..," he moaned sickly as he clutched his stomach.

He reached into his cloak and pulled out a photograph. "I hate this war! How am I ever going to impress my love if all I am able to do is fight her!" he hugged the picture as he cried big gushy tears. "Oh, Shaak Ti, my beloved desert rose, how are we ever going to be together? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Just then his little moment with the photo got interrupted when a droid appeared on a big screen next to his chair. "General," it said.

"Hey!" Grievous shouted, waving a fist at the droid. "I told you that screen is only used for movies!"

"Sorry, General," the droid said. "But there is a message someone is sending you."

"What?" Grievous demanded. "Is it Kenobi ordering me to surrender again?"

"No, General," the droid said. "I have no idea who this person is. But he wants to talk to you."

Grievous sighed. "Put him on."

The next instant a guy with blondish brown hair and wearing a orange colored outfit with a little heart shaped pendant thing on his chest appeared. "Hello," the man said.

"Who are you?" Grievous demanded.

"My name is Captain James Kirk of the _S.S. Enterprise," _the man replied. "I am sending a request for you to please move your ship."

"Why should I, Smirk?" Griebous demanded glaring at the man. He hadn't even seen this guy for two seconds and he already got on his nerves. "My ship was here first."

"Look, Vulture face," the man said. "If you don't move your ship we'll move it for you."

"I'd like to see you try!" the cyborg challenged.

Suddenly another guy with weird eyebrows and weird pointy ears very much unlike Master Yoda's appeared next to the captain. "Captain, talking to robots is highly illogical," he said.

"I'M NOT A ROBOT!" Grievous shouted angrily. "I happen to be a General from the great planet of-"

"Stupidity," James Kirk finished for him, smirking.

"Stupidity!" Grievous said porudly then realized what he'd just said. "Stupidity? No, you moron! Kalee!"

"Never heard of it," the pointy eared weirdo said. "And I have researched the entire galaxy. It only took two minutes."  
"Ooo aren't we vain," Grievous sneered at the guy in blue. "Well you might have researched _a _galaxy but you never researched _this _galaxy, tard."

"What is a tard?" the pointy eared guy asked. "It that a pastry?"

"No, pointy brows," Grievous shot back. "It's a retard!"

"Mr. Spock," Kirk cut in. "I don't think the robot likes you making him look stupid."

"_He's_ not making _me _look stupid!" Grievous shouted. "_I'm_ the one who's making _him_ look stupid!"

Spock looked at him. "You're ship has an illogical design," he said flatly.

"WHAT!" Grievous demanded. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT MY SHIP!"

"It's shaped like a pencil that was chewed up by a furry quadripad," Spock told him. "It couldn't stand up much if it were fired on in multiple places."

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY BELOVED SHIP!" Grievous shouted angrily. He turned to another screen where a droid was watching the conversation. "Raise the shields to maximum and shoot everything we've got at those punks!"

"Roger," the droid said before the screen blinked out.

"That wouldn't be a good idea," Spock said.

"Who asked you?" the cyborg demanded glaring at the Vulcane. "Why don't you shut your logical mouth before I shut if for you with a torpedo!"

"Torpedos don't work in space," Spock said. "They only work underwater with the U-boat."

"Shut up!" Grievous shouted. "Who asked you?"

"I still say you shouldn't do that," he went on.

"Why not?"

"We happen to have a huge supply of Tribbles on our ship," Spock told him in a monetone. "It is very precious cargo. You wouldn't want to ruin it would you?"

"I don't give a lightsaber for whatever it is you call 'Troubles'-"

"Tribbles."

"Whatever. I still don't care about it! If it's not a weapon it's of no use to me."

"It doesn't like Klingons," Kirk said as if that ment something.

"What in Coruscant is a Klingon?" Grievous used totally confised. "Is that some kind of fish that cleans fishtanks with its mouth? Or is it a fangirl who glomps people and appeares wherever you go and clings on you until you have to get her surgically removed?"

"No that's a plecko and I have never heard of a 'Fangirl'," Kirk corrected him. "A Klingon is a big hairy brute with weird ridges on his forehead."

"Eh?'

"You have never heard of a Klingon?" Spock asked. "That's not logial."

Grievous had the sneeking suspicion that the pointy eared oaf was mocking him. Grievous lost his temper and shouted at all the droids in the control room. "FIRE THE MAIN BOOSTER CANNONS!"

"Roger," the droid said.

He looked back at the human and the smart aleck Vulcane. "Let's see you logicalize this, MWAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Grievous turned to the window and a huge amount of energy came from the cannons of his ship and came toward a weird looking ship that looked like a frizbee with a leg. He laughed madly as the blast hit the ship and the laugh died in his throat as the smoke cleared and the ship was still there in one piece.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!" he heard the punks laughing from the screen behind him.

Grievous turned around and glared at the two. "How did you do that?" he demanded.

"We have shields too you know," Kirk replied smirking. "Or do you think you're so good that only you can have them?"

"Shut up!" Grievous ordered.

"No," Kirk said. "Now would you please move your eyesore of a ship?"

"No," grievous said sounding like a spoiled brat. "I don't want to and you can't make me."

"Wanna bet?" Kirk asked grinning like an idiot.

"Yeah!" the cyborg shot back.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"FINE!"

"Okay then," Kirk said looking at someone Grievous couldn't see on the screne. "Hey one of you lazy bums tell Scotty to get the Super Cool Atomic Cannon Of Doom ready for a test fire."

Grievous stared at him. "Super Cool Atomic Cannon Of Doom?" he asked. "What is that?"  
"You'll see," Kirk said grinning at him evilly. "Mwahahaahha!"

Grievous got the feeling that Kirk was lying. _Super Cool Atomic Cannon Of Doom, _the cyborg thought. _What a lame name. I bet it isn't even real-_

**BOOM!**

Suddenly Grievous whole ship was rocked by a huge explosion. The explosion was so great Grievous was thrown to the floor. "What was that?" he demanded as he got up.

James Kirk smirked. "The Super Cool Atomic Cannon Of Doom," he said.

Grievous gave the Captain a hateful look. "Two can play at that game!" he shouted.

Grievous looked at another screen and called up a Neimodian. "Pilot," he said. "Could you please charge up the Anniulation Lazer?" he asked.

"But that thing is still in it's testing stage," he began to protest.

"JUST DO IT!" Grievous screamed then turned off the screen and turned back to Kirk. "We'll see who gets the last laugh after your puny little monopod frizbee is in pieces," he said. "BWAHAAHAAHA!"

Kirk gave a nervouse face as Grievous turned from him and returned to the window. He was going to enjoy atomizing those sarcastic jerks who insulted his ship. _They are going to rue the day they insulted my beloved ship!_

Just then he felt the ship rumble at the Anniulation cannon chargd up. After a few seconds Grievous felt nothing but knew the cannon was about to fire. A waited... and waited... and waited.

"HEY!" he shouted at another screen. "Why isn't the cannon working?" he demanded.

"Oops," the Neimodian said. "I forgot to press the fire button."

"Grrrrrrrrr! WELL DO IT ALEADY!"

"All right, Fireing the cannon now!" The Neimodian pushed the button.

Grievous watched a HUGE bolt of energy fly at the ship. He totally expected _this _to work but at the blast got closer to the _Enterprise _it got smaller until it finally disappeared. Girevous stared at the ghost blast. "WHAT!" he exclaimed in shock. "What happened?"

Behind him Captain Kirk and all his little buddies were laughing their heads off at how much of a fool Grievous was making of himself. "MWAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

_A/N_

_Is this the end of the battle? Oh no! This is just the beginning. Anyway I got this idea when I was thinking about what the best weapon to kill a Star Trek fan was. I chose the Rocket Launcher. Hehehe. I don't know how that could trigger inspiration buy it did. Catain Kirk may have won this one but Grievous has bearly begun! Let's see how well Kirk fights when he goes against Grievous one on one! BWAHAHAHA!_


	31. Sock Wars

CHAPTER 31 SOCK WARS

Grievous glared at Captain Kirk and his lackies. This guy was even more anoying than Kenobi! "Why you!" he yelled. "How dare you laugh at me!"

"Why shouldn't we?" Kirk asked. "You're the one who acted all high and mighty and thought you could beat us with your hunk of junk ship."

"Your ship is the hunk of junk!" Grievous shouted angrily. "My ship happens to have all the latest updates."

"From one hundred years ago," Spock said in a emotionless voice.

"You shut up!" Grievous ordered the pointy eared freak. "Nobody asked for your oppinion!"

"I give it when I think it needs to be given."

"Well hurray for you." Grievous turned away from the two weirdos. He had to think of some way to show these two up. But how?

* * *

Obi-Wan and Anakin finally met up with each other after a crazy night of weird visiations. They met in the same room that Ki-Adi-Mundi, Kit Fisto, and Aayla Secura had been attacked by Gimli and the others. They didn't even notice the one easy chair had been cut in two by something sharp. Maybe they saw it all the time when a Jedi got drunk and sparred in the lounge because he was hallucinating. Either way they didn't notice.

"So how was your night?" Obi-Wan asked looking over at Anakin who had taken off his boots.

"... A ghost came out of my closet," Anakin replied not looking at Obi-Wan. He pulled off his one sock and wadded it up into a ball.

"A ghost was in your closet?" Obi-Wan asked. "Mace, Padme, and I saw three ghosts in the basement. They chased us out."

"I didn't know the Temple was haunted," Anakin said eyeing his sock ball for a moment. He threw the ball as Obi-Wan. "If the Temple is haunted will we have to move?"

The sock ball bounced off Obi-Wan's forehead. He used the Force to bring it back to him. He stared at the ball. "I doubt Yoda will want to move the Temple," he said. "He did suggest it once. He likes beaches and stuff. I think the sound of water puts him to sleep or something..." he threw the ball back at Anakin. _Or he likes bikinis..._

It zoomed across the room and Anakin caught it easily. "I hate beaches," the Jedi in training whined. "I hate sand. It gets into everything and makes a huge mess. I went to the beach once and I got sand in my underwear-"

"Okay enough information," Obi-Wan cut him off not wanting to hear the rest. "I wouldn't mind going to the beach. I'd love to see Aayla and Shaak Ti in a bikini..." He saw the way Anakin was looking at him and blushed. "What?"

Anakin threw the sock back at him. "So even you think of that kind of thing!" he laughed. "Looks like Oby-Woby isn't as perfect as he thinks he is."

Obi-wan picked up the sock ball. "Oh shut up," he said throwing it back with annoyance. "And dont' call me that."

Anakin ducked. The sock hit the wall and landed harmlessly on the floor. He picked it up. "Why?" he asked. "It's just what men think about," he threw the ball back at him. "It's the manly way to think."

"..." Obi-Wan stared at the sock ball.

"Aren't you manly enough, Master?"

Obi-Wan didn't like being made fun of. He got mad which is something he didn't do often. "SHUT UP!" he roared throwing gthe sock ball with deadly persision.

The ball came at Anakin like a rocket. "Yikes!" the Jedi shrieked ducking. The sock ball flew into the wall and hit it with such force it put a hole in the wall. Anakin peeked over at the hole and stared at it for a moment.

"I am a man," Obi-Wan reminded him. "I'm more manly than most of the guys here. At least _my_ lightsaber isn't purple."

Anakin pulled the sock out of the wall and tossed it up and down in his hand. "Are you talking about Mace?" he asked. "He's been acting weird since I played that prank on him. I think I made him scared of girls."

"You should have used a "Kick Me" sign instead."

"Hey he was jealous of me because all the women liked me and not him." Anakin threw the sock ball again.

It landed in Obi-Wan's coffee cup. "WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF!" the Jedi master shouted pulling the sock out of the mug. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY COFFEE!" then he did something that took Anakin by surprise.

Calm cool collected Obi-Wan opened the trash compactor and threw the sock in. Anakin heard the sound of shreading material and lost it. "MASTER YOU JUST SHREDDED MY SOCK!"

Obi-Wan turned on him. "You should have thought of _that_ before you started thowing it at me, my young apprentice." he said.

"I can't walk around with one sock on I'll look stupid!"

"Too bad."

"Why you!" Anakin lunged at Obi-wan.

The two started to dog fight on the floor.

_A/N_

_I got the idea for this chapter when my brother was throwing socks at me. I got so mad at him for doing it because he was throwing them at me then when I threw them back he'd just throw them agaim. Finally I had it and threw it in the trash. When I did that my sister, who was watching, burst out laughing. I do admit it was kinda funny. Sorry it took so long to update. I hope I get some reviews. They keep me going especially when you give me ideas. Thanks._


	32. The Vulcane Mind Nuisance

CHAPTER 32 THE VULCANE MIND NUISANCE

Back on the _Invisable Hand _General Grievous paced back and forth in the Control Room trying to figure out a way to get back at that jerk James Kirk and his corny crew. "There must be a way," Grievous said to himself. "There always has to be a way. These people aren't Jedi and they don't have the Force. They should have a disadvantage. I just have to figure out a way to teach those stupid punks a lesson for insulting my beloved ship."

He turned to one of his Magna Guards whom he'd summoned into the Control Room after his first conversation with _The Enterprise_. "You," he said, pointing at a rather stocky one.

"M-me sir?" the robot asked nervously looking at his buddies who pretended they were ignoring him.

"Yes, you," Grievous gestered with his fingers. "Get your butt over here."

"Yes sir," Magna1 said walking toward the General.

"I need your help in something," Grievous said.

"What sir?"

"If you were to get revenge on a bunch of idiots who insulted your ship how would you do it?"

"Uh..." the robot sweat dropped. "I have no idea..."

Grievous punched him down. "Then you're useless!" he shouted angrily.

He glared at the other guards. "Well do any of you have an idea?" he demanded.

"I got an idea," Magna5, a rather poorly put together joker of a guard, said suddenly. He stood and raised his index finger in the air. "Let's all dance the polka!"

Every single driod even Grievous fell over.

"Are you nuts?" Grievous demanded. "How in the world would that get my revenge?"

"You could ask them to come too," Magna5 suggested.

Grievous threw a chair at the droid. "Shut up!" he shouted. "That is the dumbest idea I ever heard of!"

The communication screen blinked on just then and that goofball named Spock addressed the General. "My captain is still waiting for you to move your hunk of junk," he said.

"Shut up, fairy boy!" Grievous shouted at him. "I'm not moving my ship! JUST GO AROUND IT IF IT'S IN YOUR FREAKIN WAY!"

"No can do," Spock said. "Your ship is in the space freeway."

"What is a space freeway?" Grievous asked confused. "There's no such thing as a space freeway."

"Oh yes there is. The space freeway is a freeway made by constilations in the heavens. Your ship happens to be between two stars in the constilation Orion and we cannot go around you we have to go through otherwise we'll get lost."

The General stared at Spock in confusion. "You're off your rocker!" he exclaimed. "We're not even _in _the Milky Way galaxy!"

"That's what you think! Mwahahahaahaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Hey! You cannot laugh the evil laugh!" the cyborg shouted. "Only I can laugh the evil laugh! Mwahahaahahahaha- cough cough gasp choke Wheeze"

"HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" the Vulcane gafawed. "Your lungs are so bad you can't even do it!"

"Don't make fun of my lungs, you pointy eared freak!'

"Rather be a pointy eared freak than a metal head! MWAHAHAHAAHA!"

"You won't be laughing when I stuff my foot down your throat."

"I'd like to see you try it, bug face."

"Look whose talking! You look like an angry elf who just got his toy idea smashed by Santa Clause!"

"I do not!"

"You do too!"

"Do not!"

"SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"No."

"GGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" Grievous unplugged the computer. Spock's face disappeared. "The nerve of him. That should keep him from calling back."

Suddenly a voice spoke into his head. _You cannot escape me! I'll just talk to you through the Vulcane Mind Probe! Mwahaahahaha!"_

"Hey!" Grievous shouted. "I know for a fact you vultures can only do that if you grab the person's head! You're no where _near_ my head!"

_I have the advanced version._

"Stop talking to me!"

_No._

Grievous started running around beating at his own head. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" he screamed at the top of his ashmatic lungs.

_You cannot escape me General Grievous! _Spock taunted evilly._ Wherever you go my Mind Probe will find you! MWAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
_"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Grievous ran out of the room. "LEAVE ME ALONE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

His Magna guards watched him go then all looked at each other. "What's with him?" Magna1 asked.

Magna2 and 3 had no idea and Magna4 was too drunk to say anything. Magna5 finally got out from under the chair Grievous had thrown onto him and suggested. "Can we dance the polka now?"

The other Magnas looked at him then said. "YEAH!"

_A/N_

_Well I came up with something again. Grievous is still having problems with the Star Trekers but his revenge is coming and when it does they shall pay! MWAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA! Oh yes! Revenge shall be sweet! (as you can probably tell I hate Star Trek). I really don't like Mr. Spock he acts so annoying and he always seems to be correcting everyone. I wish he would die again and NOT come back. I don't care if the Magna guards are robots. If I want them to get drunk they'll get drunk. Just the thought of drunken robots cracks me up!_


	33. Movies and Elves

Chapter 33 Movies and Elves

Some time later during the day Yoda and the rest of the Masters all congerated in the Council Chamber trying to decide what movie to go to.

"I think we should go see _The Phantom Of The Opera_," Ki-Adi-Mundi suggested. "I heard it's a great movie."

"It's a musical," Mace Windu whined. "I've already seen _High School Musical _with the Padawans this week and I really don't feel like watching anymore movies with singing."

"How about watching _Aquamarine?" _Kit Fisto questioned.

The others stared at him.

"What?" he asked.

"You do realize that's a chick flick, don't you?" Plo Koon questioned.

"So? I wanna see it anyway. It's got a mermaid in it," he defended himself.

"Kit's got a thing for mermaids it seems," Shaak Ti said with liney eyes.

Kit blushed. "So what if I do?" he demanded. "Is there something _wrong_ with that?"

"Oh, no, no, no," Adi Galia said holding back a laugh. "There's nothing wrong with that at all. " then she burst out laughing. "WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! Kit loves mermaid movies! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!"

"Hmph!" Kit pouted. "You're all mean."

"How about we go see that new _Pirates _movie?" Obi-Wan suggested. "I was told by Aayla Secura that it's pretty good."

"I hate pirates," Mace whined. "Pirates are so mean. Especially space Pirates."

"That reminds me of _Metroid_," Kit said absently.

"What?" Ki-Adi-Mundi wanted to know.

"Space Pirates..." Kit said staring out the window. "I could never seem to defeat Ridly though..."

"Ridly...?"

"Yeah he's this ugly purple dragon dude that I think has a thing for Samus," he explained. "Wherever she goes he pops up. He's like a stalker or something."

"Oh brother," Adi Gallia said rolling her eyes.

"Anyway," Obi-Wan said getting back on topic. "Where do you think we should go?"

"Pick something," Shaak Ti said leaning on the arm on her chair. "Anything is better than this."

Before anyone could say anything a huge fire arrow shot into the room from the hallway and embeded itself in Mace Windu's chair.

"WAH!" he gasped, jumping out of the chair as it burst into flames. "Who did that?" he looked around suspiciously.

"Don't look at us," Plo Koon said. 'we've been with you the whole time!"

"I bet it was Anakin!"

"Why do you always blame Anakin when something goes wrong?" Obi-Wan demanded.

"Because it's usually his fault!" Mace shot back.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "You are hopeless..."

Just then someone ran into the room. It was a blond haired guy in forest colored clothes with pointy ears and holding a bow. He looked at them all in turn, panting.

"Can we help you?" Shaak ti asked, getting out of her seat.

He stared at her in horror. "FREEEEEEEEEAK!" he screeched.

"Look who's talking?" she demanded, putting her hands on her hips. "I'm not the one with the pointy ears, man!"

"Hey!" Master Yoda, who hadn't spoken till then, shouted offended. "Happen to have pointy ears I do!"

"Sorry, Master Yoda," she said looking over her shoulder at him.

The elf aimed his bow at Mace's face. "Nobody move and I won't hurt you," he ordered.

"Get that thing away from me!" the Korun demanded. "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to shove pointy objects in someone's face?"

"Actually my mother taught me how to use a bow..." the elf mused. Then he realized who he was talking to. "But that's besides the point. I bet you freaks are working for Lord Sarun, aren't you?'

"Who's Sarume?" Obi-Wan asked taking a step forward.

"BACK!" the elf commanded, turning his bow on the man.

"Hey! Watch it! that thing's sharp!"

"That's the whole point!"

"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh chooooooooooooooooooo!' Ki-Adi-Mundi sneezed.

The sound startled the elf and he let go of the arrow he'd been holding back.

"Look out!" Kit Fisto shouted as the arrow headed toward Yoda.

_SHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!_ Yoda pulled out his lightsaber and cut it in half.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." the elf whimpered then pulled out his dagger. "NOBODY MOVE!"

No one was planning on it.

"_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..." _Adi Gallia suddenly started singing.

Everyone stared at her.

"Hey, I sing when I get nervous," she said helplessly.

"Nobody talks either!" the efl commanded. "Now sit down!"

Everyone did except poor Mace who had gotten his cushin burned up. He had to sit on the cold floor.

"Now," the elf said. "I would like someone to explain were I am and who you are."

Kit Fisto raised his hand.

"What?" the elf asked, giving him a line eyed stare.

"How can we explain it to you if you said we can't talk?" he asked.

The elf rolled his eyes. "Speak only when I speak to you," he adviced.

"Are you a Sith?" Mace demanded.

The elf stared at him cluelessly. "What's a Sith?" he asked.

Mace fell over. "Nevermind," he said sweatdropping.

_A/N_

_I finally got an idea even if it was a little wierd. When I come up with something I'll make Grievous get his revenge on the Star Trekers. Please be patient. _


	34. Misc Events

CHAPTER 34 Misc Events

Somewhere on Middle Earth Asajj and Harry Potter were in Sarumon's ifle tower staring at none other than Raven from the Teen Titans. The pale magic enchantress was looking around the room in confusion.

"Can we help you with something?" Asajj asked.

Raven looked at her. "Yeah, you can tell me where I am," she relied.

"Uhh I think this place is called Middle of the Earth," Asajj replied thinking hard which is something she barely ever did. "Does that help you any?"

"No," Raven said flatly.

"Well that's all I can do for ya, suger," Asajj said she looked at Harry. "Maybe this weirdo here can help you out."

"Begging your pardon, your ladyship," Harry said looking at the bald woman. "But I don't have the hairiest dickens of a clue."

"Oh brother," Asajj muttered rolling her eyes in exasperation. "I should have figured."

"Well what about you?" Raven asked Asajj. "Do you have any ideas at all?"

Asajj shook her bald head from side to side. "Nope. Why don't you ak the master of the house?"

"And that would be...?"

"I think his name is Salamie or something," Asajj said thinking hard. "I can't quite remember."

"Then how am I going to... Oh nevermind I'll find him myself." and with that Raven left the room.

0000000000000

Anakin Skywalker was headed down the hall of a lower floor of the Jedi Temple whistling the Imperial March and not having much on his mind when a little brown thing stepped in his way and made him lose his footing. "WAH!" he screamed, tripping over the thing and falling face flat on the floor. "Ow! Who did that?" he demanded sitting up and rubbing his nose.

Then he spotted the cause of his loss of balance.

Darth Fozzy! He was back!

"What are you still doing here?" Anakin demanded of the bear.

"I'm looking for some one who will listen to my jokes," the bear replied.

Anakin gave him a look. "No one think you're funny eh?" he asked.

The bear nodded embarrest.

"Well I have some free time," Anakin siad sitting Indian style on the floor. "I think I'll listen to some lame jokes for awhile."

"Really?" Fozzy asked.

"Sure. Fire away."

"Okay here's one I just heard recently...

""After many years at sea, a pirate decided to retire. Since he had suffered injuries on the job, he thought that he should collect on his worker's compensation insurance. He had a wooden leg, a hook where his right hand should be and a patch over his right eye." He pointed at his eye, "The agent assured him that he would be compensated if the injuries were work related. "How did you get the wooden leg?" asked the agent. In a booming voice the pirate replied, "Me and me mates were on the high seas when the boom swang 'round and knocked me into the sea where a shark bit off me leg." The agent replied, "That is certainly work related. How did you lose your hand?" "Well matey, me and me mates were on the high seas when the boom swang 'round and knocked me into the sea where a shark bit off me hand," said the pirate. "That's also work related. Now how did you lose your eye?" asked the agent. The pirate replied, "Well matey, I was laying on the deck one balmy day catching some rays when this seagull flew by and crapped in me eye!" "What does that have to do with the loss of your eye?" said the agent. The pirate replied, "It were the first day with me hook!"

For a moment Anakin just sat there staring as Fozzy waited for a reaction. Just when he thought he wasn't ever going to get one Anakin's face turned red and he burst out laughing. "WHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he guffawed falling onto his stomach and pounding the floor with his feet and fists. "It was the first day with my hook! Hwahahhahahhaaaaaaa!"

"So you liked the joke?" Fozzy asked.

"It was genious!" the Jedi told him, sitting up. He smacked the bear in the back. "Pure genious."

"Do you think I should tell it to some other people?" the bear asked hopefully.

"I don't see why not, just avoid telling it the the council," Anakin adviced. "They've always been a bunch of fun suckers."

"I know that." the bear agreed.

"How about telling it to some Padawans?" the Jedi suggested. "They have better senses of humor than the council. They'll probably get it without having to think about it for hours."

"Okay."

The two headed for the class room.

0000000000

Grievous finally lost the voice of Mr. Spock as he rushed into the bridge area of his ship. He'd been hearing some strange noises coming from there for the past ten seconds and was in no mood to have intruders on his ship at that time.  
"Whoever's on my ship is going to wish they'd taken a bubble bath instead," the cyborg grumbled as he stomped his way down the hall. "I don't need annoying Jedi trying to get my booty right now when I have another problem to deal with!"

Just as he stepped into the bridge he heard a noise say. "I'm sure he's got some photon gernades here somewhere. We just have to find them before he realizes we're here."

"THAT'S IT!" Grievous pulled out his lightsabers, activated them, and stomped toward the owners of the voices.

About that time Squeaky his little pet silk warm slid onto the bridge just as he sput his foot down. His foot fell onto the worm and things got complicated from there. "WHOA!" Grievous exclaimed slip sliding on the back of his poor pet worm. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

He slip slid around for about five minutes then he fell off and landed at the feet of the intruders. "Ow!" he moaned falling flat on his face.

"Eek!" someone shrieked like a little girl.

Grievous looked up. The crew of Captian Kirk's ship stared down at him like they'd just seen a mouse tap dancing on the floor while singing _Ol' Lang Zion_.

"Oh boy," Grievous muttered.

00000000000

_"No matter what you do, he's never gonna be with you! He's into what he's got! He loves me! He loves you not!" _Dooku found Saruman standing on the top of his Ifle tower singing his heart out to a big ugly bird thing in the sky.

"What are you doing?" Dooku asked the wizzard.

Salamie looked over his shoulder at the Sith. "Serinading Wild Wind Dancers," he replied.

"Wild what?"

"Wild Wind Dancers," Saruman explained. "They are wind riding birds that fly so gracefully they look like they are dancing. I heard that if you serinade a Wind Dancer it will give you a ride on the winds."

Dookue gave him a look of utter sarcasm as a big sweat mark slid down the side of his head. "Right..."

Just then a bird swooped down. "Oh, look!" Saruman exclaimed excitedly. "It's going to give me a ride!" He ran up to it. "Birdy!"

Just as he jumped at the bird it flew out of the way. The wizzard missed it by a mile and down he went. 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

_A/N_

_Hope that was funny. I made up the bird thing. I don't remember where I got the pirate joke so please don't ask me. _


	35. Stuborn Door

Chapter 35 The Stubborn Door

Padme was once again paying a visit to the Jedi Temple. She stepped out of her speeder and walked up to the front door. She reached up and grabbed the door knob. She gave it a good pull.

It didn't budge.

"Hey!" Padme exclaimed, pulling on the door again. It rattled but didn't open.

"Hey, let me in!" she shouted, pounding her fist on the door. "Letmein! Letmein! LETMEIN!"

Still the door did not budge and no one came to help her.

She let go of the knob and glared at the stubborn entrance. It seemed to be mocking her she looked ready to kick it in. "Stupid door!" she muttered angrily. "Open up!" she drop kicked the door but it still didn't budge. "Why you!" she screamed. She kicked the door again.

"WAH!" she screamed holding her sore foot. She hopped up and down on one foot while she held her other one in both hands.

She glared at the door. "STUPID DOOR!" she headed back to her car. "I know how to handle a stubborn door."

She came back with a big blaster. She was going to get that door open even if she had to blast it open. As she got closer to the door Plo Koon came came around the corner from the garden and spotted her walking toward the door, with murderous intentions.

"Senator Amidala," he said staring at her. "What in the world are you doing?"

"I'm going to blow that door open," she replied glaring at the door.

"Why?" he asked looking at the unthreatening door. "What did it ever do to you?"

"It won't open," she replied raising her gun. "So I'm going to blow it open!"

"Padme," he said trying to get her attention before she blew the door to smitherines.

Padme ignored him. She aimed her gun at the door.

He tried again. "PADME!"

"What?" she demanded looking at him.

"Can't you read the sign?" he asked pointing at a small sign above the door knob. "It says "Push"."

"What!" Padme leaned toward the door and stared at the sign. It indeed said push. "oh," she said. "But why is there a sign there anyway?"

"The door's broken," he replied. "It won't open right away if you step near it. We put the sign up so people wouldn't get confused."

Now Padme felt stupid. "Oh..." she said her face turning bright red.

The Kel Dor walked over to the door and pushed it open. "Come in," he said. "I'll hold the door open for you if that helps."

Padme said nothing. She glared at the door, the sign, and Plo Koon before she stepped inside with her nose in the air.

_Hmph!_

_A/N_

_That's it for this time. I couldn't think of anything else. This was the only inspiration I had. Hope it was funny. _


	36. NOTE

NOTE

Due to the bad case of writer's block I have been having the past few months I will be discontinuing this story for the time being. I am very soryy for any inconvience and when I start updating again you'll be sure to know.


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